His Footprints & Mine

The Unforgettable...

2009-08-29T15:51:00.003+08:00

This is crazy... It's so busy at NIE with 9 modules & so many assignments that I am constantly thinking & feeling stressed about all the things that I'm not sure about & all my deadlines! Argh! Now I begin to understand why my Mum said that she has never seen my brother work so hard before! Sigh...

MOE Olive Run!

2009-08-23T00:48:00.010+08:00

It's been a number of years since I represented any agency or organisation in a competitive run. Finally, I got a chance to represent Farrer Park Primary School in the mixed team event Olive Run! It was held at East Coast Beach on 15 Aug.

Here are the memorable photos below. The first photo shows those who represented the school in the mixed team event & the second photo is our all-staff photo! =)

I Survived My First 2 Weeks At NIE

2009-08-21T12:34:00.015+08:00

Wow... Time really flies... & suddenly it's been 2 weeks at NIE for my formal teacher training. It has been quite a challenge to adapt back to studying, after working for 5 years. Although I did pursue my post graduate diploma back in 2007, that was evening classes, which I occasionally skipped due to unfinished work. Part-time study & full-time work is tough, but somehow I struggled through with the assignments & exams for the entire 1 year.

Frankly, full-time study is easier... much easier... in terms of managing work concurrently, which really takes a toil on me. However, now having gone back to full-time study, I experienced another different form of struggle - a struggle for identity. Although I am coming to terms with this emotional, mentally & physically, after 2 weeks of absorption back into study life, I remember that my first week, in fact more so for the first 3 days, was excruciating.

I couldn't accept this sudden change in my lifestyle & not to mention that I don't like studying. I prefer to do things on the job & learn from daily experiences, which I honestly feel that I learn better. Seriously. I just couldn't come to terms with the fact that suddenly all the primary school pupils had disappeared & I started to miss my daily interaction with them. Strangely, though they were horrendously behaved, especially on certain days, I still feel drawn to relate with them... whether as a teacher or even an elder brother. I miss the kind of honest, forthcoming & childlike interaction that they have with me... & I believe many of them miss me as well. How do I know? I still get SMSes, calls, e-mails, class blog entries, MSN messages & Facebook invites from them. They can be so horrendously lovable at such times.

Full time studying hasn't been easy for me, contrary to what most adults percieve about NIE. Maybe during their early years at NIE, things were not as hectic or messy. Who doesn't realise by now that as things evolve, more things get added & things get more complicated? Every seasoned working adult should recognise that by now. But I am still thankful that I don't have to juggle work concurrently, just like in 2007. That was a terror... & I truly respect those mothers who manage work, evening study & children at the same time. 24 hours is never, ever enough.

Workload aside, the traveling time is horrendous too. Daily commuting time of at least 3 hours to & fro, can really sap the living daylights out of me! That's just physically, but even mentally, I feel pissed off at times, coz it is such a huge wastage of time! Even if I was physically able to stand (despite tiredness) & mentally still partially functioning to try to read my textbook or notes, the REAL problem is that there isn't ANY SPACE to do so!!! Everyone is like crammed up like sardines in a long MRT sardine tin can... & most of us can't even move. How to study? And it doesn't make me feel better that Boon Lay is such a dirty, polluted & smoky place!

Food is generally blend but edible at NIE canteen, though I believe food at NTU canteen is much better. But I think it is more pricey over there. Anyway, I don't have time to travel to & fro, coz apart from a 20 - 30 min lunch break, I spend most of my time mugging at the library. Partly it is to keep away from germs around (recently quite a number of people are coughing), but mostly it is because I have so much readings & work to catch up! I feel that 9 modules is just too heavy, especially for a 1st semester student, who is TOTALLY new to this genre of education study!

Anyway, somehow... somehow... I managed to survive my first 2 weeks... Well, let's see how I go from here...

Children Learn From What They Live

2009-08-21T12:16:00.007+08:00

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, he learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice.

If a child lives with security, he learns to trust.

If a child lives with approval, he learns to be himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

Reaching For My Lowest Fat % In Years!

2009-08-07T03:42:00.003+08:00

I bought this weighing machine from Guardian that also calculates a person's % of fat in terms of his/her body weight, as well as % of water composition in his/her body. Its pretty interesting & so far, the figures haven't fluctuated much over the past 2 months, so I think its quite accurate.

Well, 2 months ago... my fat % was around 18.5 - 18.8%, when I first bought this machine. Since then, I have exercising more regularly, plus doing resistance training... & after 2 months, my fat % has now reduced to around 17.5 - 17.8%, which is a 1% drop in fat! Based on my average weight of 64kg, this means that I have lost about 640g of fat! That's great!

I have been so encouraged by the gradual results so far, that I have recently set myself a goal to reach a body fat % of 15% by the end of this year. I'm not sure if there is enough time & health to achieve this goal, but it's better to aim for the moon... at least if I miss a bit, I would still reach the stars... I read this slogan from some bookmark at some bookshop... hahaha... so here goes!

The Truth About Hollywood

2009-08-07T03:19:00.012+08:00

In these recent years, I have started to purchase items online because I am unable to locate them in local book stores & video stores. I still find it very surprising why my favourite stuff are so difficult to find locally... you mean, there are so few people who share my interests? Hmm...

Well, I purchased my latest book from eBay & it is titled 'A Rocky Life' whereby a reporter wrote a book about the ups & downs of Sylvester Stallone's love life. This reporter must have been very priviledged to interview the star himself, plus other people such as his second ex-wife, the star's mother, etc. I wonder how it feels like to actually talk to a celebrity... Wow...

This book proved to be an interesting read, as I have read several biblographies of Sylvester Stallone, but it was mostly on the central topic of his down & out career, before he attained stardom... as well as the other centre of attraction topic on how he developed his physique for his intensely physical roles in his movies. I mean, this guy has actually been training for over 40 years! Talk about how he spent his life!

Anyway, this book was so interesting that I could almost hardly put it down... & I actually finished this 200+ pages book in about 3 - 4 days. Wow... true life accounts really reach my heart. But as I read this book, I felt a strong sense of sadness overwhelm me. Sly's life has been excruciatingly difficult ever since his childbirth... & till date, he still suffers from emotional scars from the past... some from his parents, mostly his aggressive & violent Dad... & of course, all those women that have passed by his life...

Frankly, I feel sorry for him, although he is probably not the only person on Earth to ever live through these depressing encounters. I actually felt sad throughout those 3 - 4 days as I read this book! Wow... what an impact...

There was another side to his book which I discovered... & that was the cruelty & realism of what happens at Hollywood. Movie making is ultimately about making money... & a star's pay check & awards seriously depend on how much money the movie makes. To Hollywood producers, making profits is their only concern. I'm not sure if this is something to feel sad about coz I really feel that movies have its way of reaching into the lives, hearts & minds of its viewers. In a way, movies can actually change lives... as we have seen its influence ever since movies came into play since the early days. For example, Christopher Reeve's Superman movies weren't the first Superman movie that was released. There were actually several earlier Superman versions even before his time... & they were in black & white, of course. And so are the much earlier Batman movies, etc.

Another fact that I found it quite difficult to swallow is how critical American movie critics could be. I mean, I was astonished to read about how critical & judgmental they could be! Talk about expectations... nothing comes close to Hollywood! I'm not sure about Bollywood, but they would get there, sooner or later... as long as it reaches the international market.

Its astonishing to me, coz there are so many movies that made an impact on me... or at least I found entertaining, but these are so easily shot down by movie critics, hit charts, etc. Honestly, the critics can be so brutal... merciless! I just feel for the actors & actresses... I mean, I wonder if I would even find joy acting in such an environment like this... being scrutinised for every move. And seriously, movie making is an art... & artistic views differ...

Thus, all in all, I really take my hat off to Sly... He really has the heart to go through all these for so many years. Not to mention just acting... but writing scripts & directing as well. Wow...

My List of Favourite Male Celebrities

2009-08-04T13:54:00.081+08:00

Now that I have listed down my list of female celebrity crushes, I will move on to my list of favourite male celebrities. In this case, these are not crushes coz I'm a straight guy... but these are the male celebrities that have showed prowess, attitude & potential... which I admire... or at least at some point of my life have admired...

1) Sylvester Stallone

Sly tops my all-time list of favourite male celebrities. I first came across this amazing star in his early Rocky movies. I still remember that when I was in upper primary, I used to stay over at my grandparents' home over the weekend during the school holidays. There was once that they brought me out & my grandfather brought me the cassette tape soundtrack of Rocky 3. I still remember that I would listen to this soundtrack over & over again on his cassette tape player. Up till this day, I still enjoy listening to Sylvester Stallone movies soundtracks! Of course, Sly also showed great performances in many other movies e.g. Daylight, Cliffhanger & especially Rambo. His bibliography touched my heart also as he was an underdog turned star.

2) Jean-Claude Van Damme

I first came across this physically well-defined movie star when my cousin introduced to me the movie 'Kickboxer'. That was in the 80s & during that era, Van Damme starred in several adrenaline pumping movies like 'Bloodsport', etc. Although he acted well & could do perfect leg splits, his physical body cannot be compared to Sylvester Stallone, who is well known for having one of the best bodies in Hollywood. In terms of marital arts, Donnie Yen definitely overshadows him. So he's quite an average martial artist movie star... except that he was one of the early martial arts movie stars that I encountered on screen.

3) Jackie Chan

This fella is famous around the world & has produced many excellent movies during his time. I guess he is best known for his dangerous stunts & humour in his movies. He is quite versatile too, being able to star in both English, Mandarin & Cantonese movies... of several different kinds of movie genre too. So I would say, he is the most adaptable movie star of his time.

4) Donnie Yen

He caught my attention when I was watching his Hongkong TV series 'Fist of Fury' back in the mid 90s, in which he acted as the role of Chen Zhen, a replica of Bruce Lee's 'Fist of Fury' back in the 70s. Donnie Yen is a fantastic martial artist & his stunts in his movies were never the same, unlike that of Van Damme (after all, Van Damme's moves are boring). Donnie Yen tried to act in a few English movies, but I guess his limited English & Cantonese accent didn't pull through. What attracted me to his movies are basically his stunning martial arts moves & intensity.

5) Jet Li

I read somewhere that Donnie Yen & Jet Li studied under the same kungfu master back during their early childhood days. Some say that Jet Li got more successful movies made because of his looks. To me, both of them speak terrible English accent, but both are a rare talent in kungfu. The difference is that Jet Li managed to move into the Hollywood film industry & got several roles, whereas Donnie Yen couldn't manage with any success.

6) Johnny Depp

There is not much to say about this guy, except that I find him eccentric. I noticed him the most in his later movies 'Pirates of the Carribean' where he played the role of Captain Jack Sparrow. Other than that, his on screen character didn't impress me much. But I like his style as Captain Jack Sparrow!

7) Tom Cruise

He strikes me as an old time actor that was more successful during the 80s & 90s, rather than in the 2oth or 21st century. His big hit came when he starred in the movie 'Top Gun' during his early days. I guess the 'cool' look & youth played a big part in the American film industry back then. Later on, he kinda got older & fatter... so lost some of his charima & looks. But nonetheless, he was a star in the 80s & 90s.

8) Jim Carrey

This guy is weird... mad, perhaps. Apparently he has acted in many films, mostly of comedy. I think its because he is that eccentric, that's why people pay to watch him. I think he can sing pretty alright too, but mostly its his humour that caught people watching his movies.

9) Owen Wilson

This is also another funny guy. Not as hilarious as Jim Carrey, but he has a mix of nonsense, dry humour & an occasional inspirational bit that made people like him. I like this fella a lot... I guess he ranks top in my list of favourite comedy actors. Definitely above Ben Stiller & Adam Sandler.

My List of Female Celebrity Crushes

2009-08-04T00:16:00.111+08:00

Hahaha... this thought came to mind recently to blog about my list of female celebrities & see how far I have come. I think this is going to be an interesting list... hee hee... for old times' sake. Let's start from the early beginnings of my childhood onward... =)

1) Amy Jo Johnson

This girl was probably the first female celebrity that I came across at my youngest age! I admired her when she was acting as the Pink Power Ranger in the TV series back in the early 80s. At that young age, I thought that she was pretty & has good figure. Well, I guess as I grew older & came across more female celebrities... she didn't look so pretty after all...

2) Elizabeth Shue

I found her a bit cute (though relatively plump) when I watched her star in the movie 'The Karate Kid'. I watched this movie also in the 80s & 'The Karate Kid' 3-part movie series captured my heart. I remember that I was learning Taekwondo during my late primary school years & I used to still watch this movie & listen to the soundtrack all the way through secondary school.

3) Kelly Preston

Thinking back now, I'm not sure what I liked about her, when I first watched her in the movies back in the late 80s. But I guess at that time, I was still young & she looked pretty too! I don't even recall which movie that I saw her act in, but for the record... this was one of the girls that I had a crush on...

4) Ali Landry

I first noticed her in one of the earlier movies that I watched in my mid-school years (probably late secondary or JC school years). Looking back, she doesn't look that fantastic, but I guess at that age, there weren't that many movies that I watched so far.

5) Denise Richards

Its interesting to see her seemingly 'demure' side when I watched her star in the movie 'Starship Troopers'. At a young age, this science fiction movie captured my young mind & I remembered that this movie used to be one of my favourite; also because of the hero 'Johnny Rico' that starred in this movie. Apparently, this girl's role as a seemingly 'demure' on-screen personality vanished after this film... well, at least based on the small number of movies that I have seen her act.

6) Jennifer Love Hewitt

I have watched a few movies starring her as the lead actress, but I really started to take notice of this cute girl, when I watched the movie 'Heartbreakers'. She played the role of a scheming daughter who followed in her mother's footsteps to gain big & quick fortune by cheating on men. In this movie, she really showed how 'manja' she could get... & I guess it drew my attention... not to mention her laughing eyes & stunning good figure... I have admired her figure in a number of her movies... except that this particular photo that I have chosen, just doesn't do justice to her younger looks back then!

7) Brittany Murphy

I started to find her attractive in terms of her figure & on-screen personality, when I watched the movie 'Just Married'. It was about this young couple who just got married, without knowing what to expect, experienced a horrendous honeymoon & nearly broke up upon returning home. Now that I look back, she doesn't look so pretty anymore... Movies seem to have a strange effect on me, for a while... then... well... hahaha...

8) Lindsay Lohan

I remember watching her during her very early acting years in the movie 'Parent Trap' & she was really more demure & innocent back then. Later on in years, she caught my attention in her movie 'Mean Girls'. Maybe it was the make-up, but she looked quite pretty, except for some pigmentation on her face... but I think she acted a good role in that movie.on her face...

9) Jennifer Aniston

I watched a few movies starring her as the lead female actress & one of those movies which I felt a little bit attracted to her, was when she was acting in this comedy with Ben Stiller, called 'Along With Polly'. It was so hilarious! I'm not sure why I felt attracted to her, as she looked much older than my age... even now, she's probably in her 40s already... but I guess it was the way she did the sensual salsa dance scene in that movie that captured my attention... plus the tight red mini shorts that she wore in another scene... Wow... not bad for her age! But she's old now...

10) Winona Ryder

I find this girl is pretty when she was younger. I first saw her appearance in the movie 'Edward Scissorhands'. It was like crush-at-first-sight! I guess it's the cute & demure face & personality that I liked, since a young age. There were other later movies that she starred in, but this was the first movie that impressed on me.

11) Kristin Kruek

In much recent years, I had a crush on this girl for about a year because of her demure look & personality in the TV series 'Smallville'. This TV series has had more than 7 seasons & it is still going relatively strong, I think... Kristin is quite skinny though... but she has a nice smile, beautiful eyes & cheerful on-screen personality. It's no wonder that I had a crush for quite some time.

12) Jessica Alba

My latest crush is definitely this girl. She is one fantastic girl who really captures the attention of men all over the world. Apparently, she has been ranked Top 100 sexist women in the world! No wonder she has mentioned to be one of the most downloaded over the Internet. She first caught my attention in the movie 'Into The Blue' & I just enjoy watching her underwater dive scenes! And that slight tanned skin makes her look so sporty! That aside, what really attracted me to her is her 'next-door-neighbour' kind of girly look which can melt the hearts of men. She has this charming demure look which just draws my attention & of course, her smile... Wow... & not to mention her cute chuckling laugh that just tickles the heart! She is so cute! I have watched some of her interviews online through You Tube & her personality just charms me... she is eloquent & knows how to engage those around her... & her humour is so amazing... Wow...

God Is An Artist?

2009-07-31T14:02:00.002+08:00

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God? A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy. "Really? How do you know?" The teacher asked, "You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven..."

A Bear, Lion & Pig...

2009-07-31T13:57:00.003+08:00

A bear, a lion and a pig meet. Bear says: "If I roar in the forest, the entire forest shivers with fear." Lion says: "If I roar in the jungle, the entire jungle is afraid of me." Pig says: "Big deal... I only have to cough and the entire planet lives in fear.”

Unresolved Mystery of Couple Differences

2009-07-30T01:06:00.012+08:00

Recently, I have been thinking about how different couples can be, before and more so after getting married. When I was in my teens, I remember that I used to ask my parents about what did they like about each other. Their answer (despite several attempts through the years) has always been the same - Don't know.

I pursued the question each time, asking why they do not know... & they always brushed it off, saying that they have forgotten what they liked about each other & it was so long ago. Now, it is just going to church on Sunday together, visiting relatives, reading newspapers, watch TV drama serials, washing clothes & dishes, day after day, week after week, year after year.

At that young age, I couldn't figure it out, but now after being married for 8 months, I am starting to wonder to myself about this same question. Who says parents don't influence their children? Hahaha... but then again, being an inquisitive person, this question would bound to pass through my mind sooner or later anyway...

It’s not that I have forgotten what attracted me to my wife, but the dynamics and scope of things do change after getting married and living together. Not that it is difficult to live with her (in fact, she has been very helpful at home) but I guess I have been reflecting about how our relationship has changed since we got married. When typing this sentence, I was actually pondering whether to use the word 'improved' or 'progressed', but in the end, I used the word 'changed' because I guess it’s the more honest description that fits my reflection at this point of time.

Not that either of us has changed much, but I guess it’s the coming together & living together that changed the dynamics of our relationship. During our courtship, most of our time was spent studying (when we were in university), typical dating activities (like going to the zoo, beach, movies, dinner, etc), going to church (that's pretty much the same since we were a child anyway) and of course, chatting on the phone for hours (which we hardly talk much nowadays). After that, I would send her home (most of the time) and that was pretty much it. Thereafter, how we live our lives in our parents’ home is very much on our own.

But that's the catch, you see... coz now we are living in our own home TOGETHER & this issue of how we used to spend our time comes into the situation! I guess this is where most couples find it challenging coz what we chose to do when living in our own parents’ home rolls over to how and what we also choose to do when living in our own home now. Now that pinpoints the mystery of the century! It is easy to do things together when outside with friends or just the two of us, but when we get home, it’s a totally different matter altogether!

Of course, this is not to say that a couple must continue to do the same things together back at home, but this is the part that becomes challenging and often difficult to resolve or come to a consensus. Why? It’s because each party has been used to living their own way & each prefers it that way. For example, the husband may prefer to play computer games or watch soccer & his wife may not like it coz she wants to watch TV. Some couples get two TVs so as to resolve this problem, which also draws them away from each other & continue in their own world. And when their children come along, they get more TVs.

Or in this case, the husband may decide, well... let’s watch TV together... but the preference of TV shows may differ from husband & wife. For me, it doesn’t help that our local TV shows are down-right lousy! So maybe one of them may suggest that they watch a video together, but same problem... in my case, I enjoy watching action movies, but my wife doesn’t like them much (it’s quite obvious from her expression).

How about doing activities together? One party may be more outgoing than the other & it might spark differences again. My wife would ask why she can live with being simple, but I am not. It’s just our different background, interests & personality! For example, I am thinking of learning to scuba dive, but my wife is not interested. I am keen to take up rock climbing, but my wife is also not interested. Honestly, I also have a much-suppressed interest in playing paint ball & Laser Quest, but I have yet to find anyone who would be interested to join me. My wife is interested to learn piano & cooking, but I am not into that. Well, it is good that we support each other’s interests, but I have been reflecting about what exactly do we do together now & in the long term? The way things are going, we aren’t going to have anything in common!

I see that happening in almost every couple relationship that I know of. One guy is interested in collecting limited edition toys, but the girl is interested in piano. Another guy is interested in playing pool, but the girl is interested in shopping. Another guy is interested in watching action movies, but the girl prefers romantic or comedy. Another guy likes to talk about life, but the girl avoids because she doesn’t want to see this as reality. Another guy likes to watch soccer, but the girl prefers to watch Korean dramas. Another guy likes to swim, but the girl doesn’t want to spoil her hair. Another guy likes to go outdoors & take photographs of nature, but the girl prefers to stay home & avoid the sun. Another guy likes adventure sports, but the girl doesn’t like to sweat. Another guy likes to watch documentaries about war, but the girl prefers to watch TV shows about travel. Another guy is interested in gadgets of the latest technology, but the girl prefers fashion & clothes. Wow... there’s a lot of things that men do, ya? But for the difference with girls, I can simply sum it up in one super short sentence – shopping, music & drama shows. And these are just about each gender’s interests & hobbies... I haven’t even brought up other issues like religion, bringing up children, clash of careers, etc.

Is this how opposites attract? How does that even happen? How does it last, coz sooner or later, each party starts to wonder what attracted them in the first place? Is the final decision to stay together going to be because it is a Christian relationship or marriage & the other party is just stable enough to live together?

If the guy manages to join an interest club & finally get a chance to do these things, he would find more friends to go out with, which is good... (let’s not go into the topic about what may happen when the guy finds members of the opposite sex that are also interested in the same interests as him)... but the point is – how would their marital relationship develop? Only when they have children? And when that happens, would the couple really be developing their marital relationship, or are they actually getting busy about their children? It’s no wonder that couples are beginning to wonder what they were attracted to each other in the early days... even my parents.

So, what do married couples like us do together anyway? Eat dinner together, watch an occasional movie that we can accept, go for a short overseas holiday once in a while during school holidays, go for an occasional jog or swim together, meet up with parents and in-laws for a meal, attend & serve in church and raise children together. That’s about it that I can think of, at this point of time.

From this list, the more regular activities are eating dinner, visiting parents & in-laws, serve in church & probably a more regular exercise together. Well, that’s about what we have been doing all these months anyway. That’s mainly the usual stuff about living together as a married couple... but we have almost no interest in common... hopefully taking part in runs together. But there is nothing much to spice up marriage & keep the fire going. I guess at this point of time, it is really dependent on our CG activities to really do different things together. It’s odd to think that it is doing things together as a CG that keeps this part of our marriage together.

Of course, there is always the constant nagging feeling to doing as much work as possible at home coz our teaching job is endless. But then again, what’s new... we had expected it when we entered the service. Yet, how much do we choose to let our jobs eat into our personal lives? No wonder the senior teachers in our school say that they have SOLD their soul to this job. Now, here comes another challenging part about living together – how we slot in time for work at home.

For some couples, they would choose to stay back late at work to finish up before coming home. But the question is – what time would they really be back? For teaching, schools should close by 7pm (unless they are in the steering committee which has meetings till past 8pm). But what about if a couple is working in the corporate sector? I have worked in the corporate sector for 4 years & I know how it is like, except that teachers can’t work that late, so they end up bringing work home.

Not that it is wrong to bring back work to do at home (especially in the case of working as a teacher) but the question is how do we prioritise work at home? I was in the HR line before & I remembered my manager REBUKING me that the nature of work has changed from last time. Now successful professionals have to learn to juggle both work and family commitments at the same time & at the same place. Gone are the days where we just do our work at the office & come home. In this modern age of work, people bring work back home to do & it has become essential to work at home. Work doesn’t stop at the office. Work is part of our daily life. Even weekends, we need to check e-mail & do work at home, so that we can keep up with what’s going on and be successful.

So, if we think that this is about teaching, think again... it’s not. In fact, it can be a lot worse, if we are working in the corporate world. Bosses demand turn-around time within the same working day. If there is a technical disruption, it HAS to be resolved in a matter of hours, within the same day, if not the company would incur major losses & penalties. My ex-ex-ex-colleague was sacked because of this. Believe me; it is not just about worrying that a parent would call to ask why her child’s workbook is not marked. But then again, it’s really about work in the end, corporate or non-corporate; in the office or back at home; single or married.

In this case of a married couple, their difference in perspective of work can severely alter the dynamics of their relationship... & in a Christian marriage, we can change our job, but we can’t change our spouse. For some, that becomes a real problem. Worse still, when children come along, this matter gets worse. That’s why there are so many issues of child misbehaviour SIMPLY due to the lack of parental support & non-nurturing family background. Believe me; we get that a lot in school nowadays. Teachers & even counsellors can’t do much, if the family situation does not reinforce it. Sadly, I believe that there are children of these teachers themselves, who fall into this category as well... or worse still, their own children beyond parental control. How is our job & salary worth, really? And some career driven parents can tell me that each of their hours is more costly, so it makes more economic sense to hire a maid to spend time with the child. They can earn more in an hour, compared to how much they pay a maid.

Even if it is not about children; how about the rising cases of divorce in Singapore nowadays? Why can’t it include teachers? I am dead-sure that it does. Why not? Our country is experiencing a 40 – 50% divorce rate in these recent years & the figures are increasing year by year. I have personally known of a couple who separated because of their severe differences in perspective & prioritising of their job. Think about it – crime rate is going down, but divorce rates are going up. Go figure!

Why should divorce only be because of marital infidelity? Can’t it be because of differences & difficulty of living together? The truth is – that ACTUALLY happens MORE often than marital infidelity nowadays! People are finding it harder to live together nowadays because of how different their lives have been before they are married. For some, it is also because of how different they want their lives to continue to be, EVEN after being married. It could be about pursuing their peak in their career, or simply just being in a job that demands so much of their lives that their marital relationship or even family breaks down. Believe me; it is true!

Like it or not, the challenge of making time to do more for work is not just in the office, but even at home. Everyone wants to achieve more. For some, it is about personal career satisfaction & for others; it may be just to keep their job. I don’t know how much about what the Bible says about not being a part of this world is reflected & lived out in our modern lives nowadays. We are all sucked in. Some are by choice, whereas others are by demands.

In this modern age, people are living longer... but are they really living? What can they POSSIBLY be living for, if they are just striving to squeeze as much work to be done, within 24 hours? And can you believe it, there are devices that are marketed to help people accomplish as much as 48 hours of work, within 24 hours! If they keep this up, someone had better come up with another better device to help people accomplish 36 hours of work, within 24 hours!

The truth is – what we do not realise is how much work is affecting our very lives, our marital relationships, our friendships, our meaningful involvement in God’s work, our children... & even our eating, our sleep... & also how it affects our own heart. Need I remind everyone that stress is also a major contributor of disease in humans? Do we believe that we can overwork our heart? I don’t think so coz many of us work as if we are invincible, overly important or indispensible! We feel so important at work that we just want to keep going! Or we feel so worried about what the bosses, principal, HODs & parents would think of us that we keep on striving & stressing our bodies, mind & heart.

I learnt this concept about life some years ago & it has never failed to prove itself true – that we have to give up something, to get something. In the end, we have to ask ourselves how much that thing is worth. Is it worth killing ourselves, getting sick & paying countless doctors’ bills? Is it worth 10 years of trying to get pregnant, paying tens of thousands of dollars & still unable to conceive? Is it worth risking a miscarriage? Is it worth the impact of how our children would grow up? Is it worth losing our marriage; or for that matter, even if we keep our marriage, but lose the quality of it?

What is it that we fear in the end? Losing our job? How much of our lives do we REALLY, REALLY, REALLY submit & surrender to God? Coz if we surrender & give our hearts, lives & jobs to Him, all these won’t be happening. And definitely not at this escalating scale in society. And we are not talking about a far away developed nation... we are talking about Singapore... we are talking about the very own spouse, family, friends & people that we see around us every day.

The question is – What are going to do about this?

Shallow But Its The Underlying Truth...

2009-07-21T00:18:00.027+08:00

Lately, I have been thinking quite a bit about what is it about females that really attracts, or should I say, draw my attention. The more I ponder about this issue, the more I come face to face with the real hard truth that men are shallow-er when it comes to attraction towards the opposite sex. But hey, what's new? And the truth is that God made the male gender different, be it creature or human.

I wondered about animals and realised that the male animal also gets visually drawn to another female animal based on 'her' physical looks, except that it is more extreme than male humans, in the sense that they are attracted purely (or largely) due to the instinct of mating. I guess this is how God made them to be, so as to ensure the continuation of the species. And based on the rapid rate at which humans consume animals, for all kinds of delicacies, it is all the more crucial that these male animals procreate as frequent as possible, so as to increase the chances of survival of their species.

But the point is - male animals are visually attracted to their female counterparts. Male humans, on the other hand, are similar too... except that there is a possibility of a cultivating of a relationship with the opposite sex. But even before that happens, the male human has to be visually drawn to the female first. In a way, this makes me wonder how online dating really takes place, when there is such a high chance of faking a person's identity and selective use of photos, etc. I mean, how can one be sure, unless they meet up? And even if they meet up, how can one be sure that this is really the person whom he/she has been relating online? It could well be their friend, who is employing a tactic to scout out for suitable friends or partners. Why not?

Anyway, the point is - I find that it is SO real that men has to be visually attracted to a female, before considering starting a relationship with her. I mean, it doesn't have to be a red-hot sizzling visual attraction (though that REALLY helps, even in the long run), but at least, that guy must not be turned off by that female. Well, the acceptance of turn off habits vary from guy to guy, but that's another story.

Is it possible to feel drawn to an attractive female without desiring intimacy with her? For me, this is something that I have pondering. So far, it seems possible. I mean, there are so many visually attractive females (especially the young ones in their 20s up to maybe 30) that I literally feel overwhelmed with choice! Of course, the quantity of such 'sights' vary from location to location, but its more or less there, at least for the younger crowd. Naturally, there are also the contrast of NON visually attractive females, though a slight acceptance of 'defect' is possible, recognising that these real life females are not perfect looks and figured comic book characters.

For me, I find myself visually attracted to slightly younger females, but it isn't a desire for intimacy. As I grow older, I find myself starting to admire and appreciate female physical beauty. Apart from the natural attention to parts like slim legs, hour-glass figure, endowed 'assets'... I have begun to start wondering about how the facial features can REALLY make a difference and impact in visual attraction. And my conclusion is YES!

I have seen females, even older women, who can have a good figure, legs, assets, etc... but it doesn't mean that they look pretty... much less to use the word 'beautiful'. Of course, others can always argue that physical beauty is skin deep, but does this aspect not exist? I mean, definitely everyone gets old... it is a natural process of ageing... but I have seen older women who know how to age gracefully and still one can tell that she used to be very pretty when young, coz she still maintains that tinge of facial beauty, even now when she is much older. Believe me, there are such females around... not too many, but there are. And I really wonder how much their husbands whole heartedly admire and appreciate that about them.

I guess males do appreciate and are visually drawn to females who upkeep themselves. And if isn't about the idea that after married, it doesn't matter. In fact, after getting married, it matters EVEN more, coz to lose a part of the attraction that existed initially, is to lose a part of the attraction for and towards each other. And that is a serious thing, especially for some men... or should I say, most men. I mean, why should a male stop being visually attracted to their partner after getting married? Does that psychology change after putting on a ring or saying a vow? I don't think so... not at all! Not at all, at all! In fact, I believe most guys have to appreciate or at least accept the attractiveness of his partner, before considering being married to her. And I believe (or at least I am hoping) God is fair too - in the sense that He wouldn't force a man or a woman to purposely marry another person of the opposite sex, if there is simply nothing that he/she is attracted to, in the first place!

So where does this leave me? Well, I don't know... though I do upkeep my physical stature, even after I got married... not just for myself, but for my wife too. Even if my wife doesn't bother, it still bothers me, and I would still do it for myself, coz I can't stand being unfit, fat and unhealthy. Why should I ruin my body? And I always believe that our body is our responsibility.

As for all the physically attractive females out there, well... this isn't going to change... and in a way, I am glad that it stays that way, coz its really a nice sight to see physical beauty around (I mean, that's why people travel to see physical beauty right? Buildings, beaches, skies, etc are all visual physical beauty)... and neither can I will (even if I wanted to) my psychology to change, so I guess I would just have to continue this way for the rest of my life. Well, this is part of life - people. I am no Robinson Crusoe...

The Passing of Michael Jackson

2009-07-14T21:25:00.006+08:00

Yeah, everybody (almost) knows that the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, has recently passed away. It was very sudden & it seems that all of the sudden, there came about a huge hype about him! His CDs started selling like hotcakes, TV broadcasting his memorial service, etc. Wow...

For me, I have never been a fan of Michael Jackson... or Michael Jordon... or Michael J. Fox... or even Michaelangelo (that ninja turtle). Ok, you got me... I did go crazy about Michaelangelo when I was a litte kid, but after awhile, it started to fade away... I was a KID, what do you expect? Ninja turtles was one of the more decent yet exciting cartoons back in the 80s!

Anyway, back to MJ... No, not my colleague Ming Ju... but Michael Jackson. It was because of his recent demise that I started being curious about his video clip over You Tube. Initially, I thought he has stage presence... well, he did... unless how in the world does he make $10 million per show... but after awhile, I started to reflect at the back of my mind, about this famous guy who started out poor, later on became rich... and much later, died a bankrupt. Just like Elvis Pressly, according to my Dad.

As I watched his video clips on You Tube, I started to pity him... seriously. Its really a sad story, not to mention his disfigured face and how skinny he looked now. Oh yes, and his countless pills and painkillers that he takes so regularly... its so sad... Well, he did revolutionise the pop culture, but that didn't end well for him... and of course, those media publicity about his crimes... Sigh...

Now when I watch his video clips online, I feel sorry and sad for him... and that person singing and dancing in the video clip is now dead... even a king will some day die... and it is even more sad how he ended up... and how he died... I wonder where is he now... heaven or hell... the moral of the story is - if you start out well, make sure you do your best to end well... if not, it would really be a sad case... for he has truly fallen from his 'glory'... sad... its such an irony...

Transit To My Next Phase of Life

2009-07-14T21:14:00.004+08:00

Guess what... after almost 1 year of contract teaching, I am finally going into NIE! Well, not that I'm really raring to go, coz I know that I will miss the pupils at Farrer Park Primary School... but I guess it would be a good break and opportunity to learn how to teach better.

Yeah, I will be entering into NIE on 28 July, which is like 13 days away... which actually means its down to my last 9 working days in school! Wow... wait a minute... not that I'm really all that enthusiastic about leaving, but its more of feeling sad to leave... colleagues, pupils, even the two security guards! One of the security guard Jaleeha, even told me that she is sad that I will be going off... and reminded me not to forget her... Wow... I wasn't really expecting that... but its nice!

Oh well, its going to be a brand new start for me... very soon. I still remembered that one of the senior teachers telling me that now that I have experienced quite a number of different classes at different levels, I am know able to challenge what is taught at NIE! Well, true in some sense, but I rather stay humble, until its really important that I speak up. Oh well... life is going to be different for the next 2 years, but its going to be interesting!

God, please grant me wisdom, understanding and favour... Amen!

Electric Guitar - A Concert On Its Own!

2009-06-20T22:30:00.008+08:00

Now, this is the MOST marvelous video clip that I have seen so far - using an electric guitar to play the rock version of Pachebel's 'Canon in D' and using only ONE instrument! When I listened, I was in awe! It was like playing and holding a concert on its own! Amazing! Breath-taking! =)

Canon in D - Spider Fingers with SIMPLY an Acoustic Guitar!

2009-06-20T22:10:00.011+08:00

This video clip below shows an amazing and superb performance of Pachebel's 'Canon in D' using SIMPLY one acoustic guitar! Before I saw this video clip, I had never EVER dreamt that it was possible for ONE guitar to play a song as melodious and specific to what a piano can do. This guy was like playing the whole song by himself using ONE guitar! He can match the playings of a piano using just a guitar! Can you imagine it? I couldn't!

I call him 'Spider Fingers'! If you watch this video clip, you can see his fingers crawling all over his guitar and making melodious music that I only thought was possible with a piano! Something that I had thought was simply impossible! But he did it! Oh... I can't get over it...

Pachebel Rant - Funny!

2009-06-20T22:01:00.015+08:00

This video clip is recorded 'live' at Penn State, whereby this stand-up musician and comedian by the name of Rob Paravonian rants about how annoying and boring it is to play Pachebel's Canon in D with a Cello (string instrument that is larger than a guitar). Watch it and laugh! =)

Burned my face using Veet!

2009-06-18T17:45:00.003+08:00

Rebecca's family visited us last Sunday and her sister, Evelyn mentioned about using Veet to remove unwanted hair. Foolishly, I went down to NTUC to buy & applied it to my face, in my much anticipated effort of removing my consistently growing facial hair. WOW! The very moment that the gel touched my face, it burned! Again, I foolishly grit my teeth and endured for 3 minutes (the required amount of time stated on the aluminium can), thinking that its normal because it needs to kill the hair cells and root.

I was in for a RUDE shock as after 3 minutes, despite repeated washing of my face, it still burned and hurt for the next 2 days! Thankfully, my house-based 'nurse' and wife, Rebecca helped to apply soothing cream on my face for the next 2 days and nights. By the 3rd day, my face started to peel and dried tiny bits of skin fell from my face, due to my occasional scratching. It was itchy!

Now, by the 4th day, my face is almost healed. PHEW! Thank God! I thought that I would be scarred for life! What a horrendous mistake! Such foolishness! Urgh! Phew...

Its a long time since I blogged...

2009-06-18T17:39:00.005+08:00

Its really been a few months since I last blogged. I guess its because I have been focused on my work during the teaching term. In the case of blogging, its not that I haven't been blogging... but rather, I have been posting updates and photos in my class blog. Its quite a nice blog and you can check it out at http://www.fpps-shining-stars.blogspot.com.

Sigh... there is so much to blog, but I don't even know where to start. How I wish that I could just download my thoughts automatically into my personal blog... maybe through Bluetooth or something. Hahahaha... =)

My First Meet The Parents Session!

2009-03-13T23:09:00.014+08:00

I had my first 'Meet The Parents' session with my P3.2 class this Thursday. This year, I teach maths at P3 level; whereas last year I taught English with another P3 class. For this year's P3.2 class, I find them quite adorable... & sometimes I feel like hugging a few of those adorable ones!

Yet there are times when these kids really get on my nerves & make me shout at them. I don't feel happy whenever I shout at them, because I know that they are aware of their misbehaviour, but still choose to misbehave & show disrespect to the teacher &/or their classmates. But all in all, I still enjoy teaching this class... at least so far...

I would estimate that about half the pupils' parent / parents / guardian came for this first 'Meet The Parents' session for Term 1. It was planned to be held from 1.45 - 4.45pm in the classroom. However, parents arrived as early as 1.15pm... (while I was scolding the pupils for not being able to line up properly outside the classroom) & the last parent arriving at 4.40pm... but it wasn't so bad coz we managed to end by 5pm.

I am glad that most of the parents are supportive (or at least they appear supportive, since this is the first time that I am meeting them). However, it is their children that are playful & not taking their studies seriously... but there is a chance... coz these kids are still fairly obedient... so far. Yet sadly, it was those kids who seriously needed help, whose parents did not come. Sigh...

All in all, I must say that I enjoyed chatting with the parents! It was to my surprise coz it was a very tiring day of lessons (in fact, it is my heaviest work day of the week!). plus I was also coordinating two events at the school hall on that same day. Thus, with an additional 3 hrs of meeting with parents, I had expected myself to be totally drained out. But thank God, I wasn't! Honestly, I was enjoying myself so much that the 3 hrs just passed! Suddenly it was 4.40pm! =)

I was with the form teacher of that class & she is diplomatic in speaking with parents. I could tell from her approach of conversation that her style is very different from me. I find that my style is relaxed, friendly & rapport buiding (occasionally through stories & humour). But its okay... everyone has their own style... or maybe she is really tired... which I was feeling too...

But all in all, I still must say that I enjoyed it! Yes, I did! =)

A Disaster Waiting To Happen...

2009-03-13T23:00:00.006+08:00

It was the 'Meet The Parents' session for P4.2 this Friday afternoon... which dragged from 5pm to almost 9pm. Fortunately, I wasn't required to attend, especially since I have had 2 days of fully packed work days with almost no rest throughout both days. On Thursday, I had about 10 mins of rest for the whole work day till 5pm. On Friday, I had about 12 mins of rest for the whole work day... until 5.35pm. But oh well... I don't want to think about it... soon it will pass...

But the unfortunate part was that half my mind wanted to meet with these parents! Its because the pupils in this P4 class are REALLY messed up! So many messed up cases in this one class! I really wanted to meet their parents & see whether their parents are the same kind as well, which may explain their notorious behaviour that's well known throughout the whole school. Also, I wanted to give the parents a diplomatic piece of my mind & tell them the real situation about what kind of troubles & problem their children are getting themselves into in school.

Honestly, sometimes I get so frustrated with this class... up till this stage that I don't know what else to alert or warn them about anymore. Its not as if they don't know what is right & wrong. It is just that they prefer to do the wrong... & according to Rebecca (who attended the session), told me that even some parents don't know what to do with their rebellious children. Its very sad! =(

If these pupils do not wake up to reality, I am worried & afraid that some of them would become problems to society in future! It is too long to type down all their incidents, but they are varied & shocking. It makes me very sad & angry to teach this class... what's more since last year. Sigh... the way things are going... they are just a disaster waiting to happen... very sad... especially to see their faces appear in the newspapers for a criminal offence... Sigh...

A Playful Injury...

2009-03-05T21:28:00.007+08:00

Sigh... I feel like giving up on these pupils sometimes... I also don't know what else to say to them. Teachers scold (there is a huge limit to the kind of discipline allowed nowadays) until they also give up scolding. And today, another playful accident happened in one of my P4 class. They are supposedly (honestly, its true in every sense of the word) the most notorious P4 class in school.

This international pupil from China decided to play a prank on another female classmate in his P4 class during the art lesson by their art teacher. When she was about to sit down on her chair, he took away the chair, such that she fell hard onto the floor! It wasn't that bad that she hit her buttock, but the worse part was that she fell & hit her neck on the floor! It must have been a hard fall!

Two of her female classmates gathered around her, trying to comfort her... while the female art teacher tried to ask if she was okay. Apparently, she was in pain & had difficulty turning her neck. So she sat there with her head down, no able to move her neck... for quite a long period of time. When the art lesson ended, I came in for social studies lesson & was told of this story. The class was in a mess... apparently, apart from that two female classmates that were comforting her, the rest of the class was having a jolly good time... as usual, screaming, running around, etc.

Thus, I went straight into action, trying to calm them down... & it took 1 - 2 mins (as usual). Thereafter, I asked the female art teacher & the 2 female classmates to bring her down to the general office to rest at the sick bay. Then, I carried on with my lesson, before this injured girl came back to the class after 10 mins, to continue resting at her desk.

What amazed me is that this China boy didn't even look the least remorseful. At that time, I don't even remember him apologising or even coming up to ask how she was. This is terrible! He went about the class, as usual... as if nothing had happened. Its so shocking! And the rest of the class didn't even seem to bother about this possibly 'fatal' accident. I can't believe it & I'm very angry about this. This class' form teacher was informed, but she insisted that the art teacher write the accident report, coz she wasn't at the scene. Reasonable explanation, but oh well...

Sometimes I don't know what else to say or scold these kids. What else has been left unsaid? I really don't know... even if I did... would it fall on deaf ears as usual? Sigh... I just hope that girl would be okay... SIGH...

Technical Assistant From Johor Bahru!

2009-03-05T21:20:00.004+08:00

There is a friendly & soft spoken Technical Assistant (TA) working in my school. He has an interesting name called 'Poobalan'. Hahahaha... I remember that last year when he just came to work in this school, there was once that I joked with him & called him, 'Pooh Balan'! Hahahaha!

I have always knew that he stays at Johor Bahru (JB)... but I never realised until today when I asked, that he wakes up at 3.30am every working day, so that he could reach school on time! My jaw dropped when I heard that... 3.30am?! What the? I must be still in dreamland (when I have dreams, of coz) when he wakes up!

I really don't know how he manages every day. There we are, staying in Singapore & grumbling about less than an hour journey to work... & this fella wakes up at 3.30am, so that he can reach school at 7am! That's tragic, considering the typical mindset of Singaporeans... or at least for myself. And this poor guy told me that rent is expensive in Singapore, when I asked why doesn't he rent a place here instead. Oh well... Sigh... I feel sorry for him... maybe its difficult to get a job in JB... hmm...

Chasing Away Good Teachers...

2009-03-04T22:10:00.004+08:00

Personally, I think that poorly behaved & disinterested pupils are the REAL culprits in chasing away the good teachers in this exclusive profession. It is disheartening to see that even very experienced adjunct teachers sit down & stop bothering to keep the pupils quiet during assembly. It is obvious that all the shouting & scolding is not working... even when done on stage.

I'm beginning to see for myself, just how pointless to try and try, and try... and try... to keep pupils quiet in my primary school. The discipline & respect for anything & anyone is just not there. They are living in their own world of friends & themselves. Their mouth & hands are just unstoppable... & teachers are not able to lay a hand on them... WORSE of all, the pupils also know this. Oh well, what the heck...

Young Lives Wasting Their Lives Away... Daily...

2009-03-04T22:04:00.003+08:00

I REALLY don't know what our pupils are doing every day in school. They are plainly wasting their life away. Apart from a handful who try, the others are just not bothered. As a senior teacher commented recently, pupils nowadays don't like to read. They just want to play PSP & talk. I was also told that pupils don't do well in their Science exam because they are not interested to read... or not able to read... SIGH... how... like that... =(

Dumping Their Child In School?

2009-03-04T21:41:00.013+08:00

I have seen an increasing proportion of international pupils in schools nowadays & the primary school that I'm teaching in, is no exception. For these international kids, I see two distinct types - those that are strong in their subjects (sometimes even stronger than our local pupils) & those who are exceptionally weak in their language (especially English language).

In one P4 class that I used to teach last year (they were in P3 previously), I have noticed that half of the class are international students! I think probably about 17 out of 38 of them! In this class, there are pupils from (i) Vietnam, (ii) China, (iii) Japan, (iv) India, (v) Bangladesh, (vi) Thailand & (vii) Myanma. Its so diverse that I couldn't believe it... & I'm the co-form teacher of this class. These kids are playful, roudy, no interest in their studies, etc... but I find them a nice & friendly bunch... unless my other P4 classes. Aiyoh... headache...

What REALLY puzzles me is why do the parents of these international kids just fly from overseas into Singapore & drop off their child in a primary school, expecting the school to make a MIRACLE out of them! I have probably guessed that they wanted their child to go through the Singapore education system because it is sound & established... but the problem lies in that their child comes straight into P5 or P6 without knowing English!

Let's face the truth - if a child doesn't know how to spell, speak &/or write, they are REALLY going to have problems catching up in school. Its not that the school isn't able to help them... we can, but it takes TIME for a child to learn! I have two P6 pupils from China who are going to take their PSLE this year, but they are not even able to speak proper English! Furthermore, they can't spell & write properly either. Even when the child injures himself, he needed to ask for another boy to accompany him down to the general office, because he is not able to tell the office staff about what happened to him. This is dangerous! Isn't it? Aiyoh!

Personally, I think that these parents do not know that they are ruining their child's future because their child is not able to cope with all the pressure & pace of learning in school. I mean, let's face the truth - proficiency in a NEW language isn't learnt in a span of a few months! Even for an adult, it can be challenging... what more for a child?

Schools have a bridging program for these weaker international pupils (which is a good proactive effort) but would a few months be sufficient for them to pass their PSLE? Especially when there are local pupils who go through 6 years of primary school & STILL have problems passing their exams. I really don't know... but personally, I think its rather late to suddenly throw a child into P6, especially when he/she is very, very weak in English. Furthermore, this lack of proficiency would affect all their other English medium subjects too. SIGH... why...

Marking CA1 is Demoralising...

2009-03-04T19:34:00.008+08:00

We have just finished 3 days of marking the CA1 exam scripts (English, Maths, Science) from last Friday to this Tuesday. Each marking session typically lasts between 2.5 hrs to 3.5 hrs, as we only have a maximum of 4 classes per level (its a small neighbourhood school).

Personally, I feel that marking exam scripts is always something that some teachers do not look forward to, as we usually take the tail-end classes where the grades are atrocious... & I mean this description as true as it can truly mean. Its a discouraging time, especially this time round, because even the best classes are not performing up to standard (or even on par with their previous standard). The top classes can be scoring around the 60% mark range, on average... can you believe it?

I also get to mark exam scripts that score as ridiculously low as 1/65! I mean, how can this be?! This is truly something that shocked me out of my skin! I had even start to lose count of how many scores that are 1.5, 2.5, 3, 4, 6.5, etc... upon 65 marks. Its just so ridiculous! How in the world are they going to sit for PSLE in a few months time? No wonder my colleague can reply, "Can... just use pencil and correction tape can already... & for OAS (i.e. MCQ shading), just use pencil..." I mean... its a joke... but to the pupils, do they think its really a joke for them?

And the worse thing is that many can still go about school every day... smiling, laughing, pinching, fighting, pushing, shouting, chasing, etc. Oh yes, even wrestling on the ground! Can you imagine that??? I see P4 pupils wrestling on the ground in the classroom! What on earth??? They are behaving like animals! Making noise, fighting, squabbling, etc! No sense of shame or awareness about what is going on. So ridiculous! What is society going to be with them? SIGH!!!

Don't Bother About Class Timetable?

2009-02-28T00:28:00.007+08:00

After teaching for half a year, I came to realise another astonishing fact about pupils nowadays, or at least in the primary school that I teach. I realised that many in a class do not have their own class timetable! Some copy but lost it; whereas others don't even copy it... some copy also can copy wrongly e.g. MA and MT can be mistaken (i.e. Maths or Mother Tongue)... & still can ask me what is their next period... how would I know so many classes' timetable?! Whose responsibility is it to know? Them or mine?

But then again, there even some who don't even bring pencil to school. What more can I expect? Borrow eraser, ruler, etc also can quarrel because their classmate don't want to share with them. Then why don't they bring their own?! I have even told them that if they or their parents don't have money, the pupil can always ask me. Anyway, in this past half a year, I have already bought so many things for my pupils... & I never asked for any return... just pay attention in class, do their homework, study for their test/exam & bring their books to school.

Children nowadays just take such a laid back attitude to school! As if the Govt, teachers & parents owe them a chance to be educated... & its STILL their choice whether they want to be educated or not. What in the world???

So now I understand why some pupils always don't bring their subject books to class... because they don't even know what subjects they are having each day! And it doesn't bother them one bit! I make it a point to sit & eat with my pupils during their recess & sometimes I ask them what is the subject for the next period. And up till now, I have not had a single confident & correct answer! The pupils do not know what is the next period's lesson! I'm not even asking them what are the subjects they are having TODAY. I'm just asking what is the subject for the NEXT PERIOD. And they don't know... and they don't care... I could just faint... really... its just so upsetting...

Pregnancy As An Escape Route?

2009-02-28T00:23:00.002+08:00

Until recently, it didn't occur to me that some women actually make use of pregnancy to take a good break from work, or even as a means to change their job. I guess when work pressures get high, it may reach a point that some just start to ponder about taking a good long break or even use this as an opportunity to make a job switch. Its not a bad move actually, considering that maternity leave is up to 4 months now & women still get paid during maternity leave.

As for men, well... we get no such priviledge... but it doesn't matter to me... I don't want to go through pregnancy & its pre- and post-effects anyway!

Usana Essentials

2009-02-28T00:14:00.004+08:00

Aunty Muifong invited me & Rebecca over to her house, after we finished work this Thursday. Anyway, her home is just right in front of our primary school where we teach from Monday to Friday. I guessed that she must have heard about my chronic fatigue prayer request from my dear wife. So nice of her... though I don't like to worry people... & the church...

We learnt from Aunty Muifong that actually multi-vitamins are essential for healthy body cells. Be it for growth or repair, it is essential. If not, all the vitamins & supplements that we take will just fall through (i.e. wasted) because our cells cannot absorb it. This struck a chord in me because I have been taking vitamins occasionally throughout the past few years, but I find myself growing more & more tired. So what do I have to lose? No harm giving it a try... anyway, I have already tried so many methods to regain my health & strength... & its still not working.

I am getting quite desperate already coz I am awake for only 13 - 15 hours a day. Half the day I am zonked out, which means that if I hadn't forced myself to work... I would have probably collapsed on my bed for even longer hours. And I'm actually starting to wonder if I'm getting quality sleep! Just like the potency of vitamins that we take... what % actually gets absorbed, while the rest gets passed out? So far, this Usana multi-vitamins are quite good... urine only very slightly yellow (compared to when taking other brand vitamins), which means that a higher % is absorbed by my body! Let's try out for a month & see how...

Slept Through CG In My Own House!

2009-02-28T00:11:00.002+08:00

I can't believe it. I really cannot believe it.

I ACTUALLY SLEPT THROUGH CG AT MY HOUSE THIS EVENING!!!!

This is the first time that it has happened in my life! What's more, CG is held at my own house! I had completely knocked out (again from 7 - 11pm) while CG was going on, right outside at my hall. Its so awesomely unbelievable... shocking & upsetting at the same time. SIGH...

Shift Work At Home

2009-02-28T00:07:00.002+08:00

Rebecca made an interesting comment this evening - she said that we are on 'shift work' at home. I sleep from 7 - 11pm then wake up; whereas she is awake when I am asleep, before going to sleep when I wake up. Hahaha... =)

The reason for this is because I am still suffering from chronic fatigue. Once my physical body gets a chance to rest e.g. on the MRT, bed or even toilet bowl... often I just knock out. Its getting rather serious... such that Rebecca has even sent out an SMS for the church to pray for me...

Do Children Listen Nowadays?

2009-02-24T01:25:00.004+08:00

Really... after teaching in a primary school for 6 months, at times I wonder to myself whether children really listen nowadays. Or maybe this is just happening to a general minority of schools. Most of the time, it appears that children are in their own world... just wanting to do what they want to do, without heeding what others say is important. They are in constant need for 'entertainment' by humans, objects or multimedia. What happened to the good old days when children are given a box of Lego bricks & they can spend like hours being creative in making something out of it? Or just watching a decent cartoon show without bringing the noise up?

I admit that times have changed, but are we making this change better or worse, noting its current state? Has anyone ever wondered how these children will grow up after they leave school? Or whether they are even able to pass out from school?

I was recently told of 2 jokes which apparently saddened me:

1) Teachers are afraid of Principal; Principal is afraid of Parents; Parents are afraid of Children. So who are Children afraid of? It seems that what is left is - the Police.

2) Someone described schools nowadays as becoming like a Community Centre... more focused on running activities than actual down-to-earth solid classroom teaching. I mean, they try to call us 'educators' instead of 'teachers' nowadays, but the hard truth is that both are important, yet can't be torn apart.

Oh well...

Chronic Fatigue?!

2009-02-24T01:17:00.003+08:00

Finally, after 2 weeks of persistent perseverance, I have decided to consult Dr Yu Zhen Kai at Eu Yan Sang clinic at Plaza Singapore after school today. It was a tiring day bringing the P3s to the zoo & I'm actually quite upset about how the whole outing went.

Anyway, I went to see the TCM physician & he diagnosed me as having chronic fatigue! I was quite shocked to hear that... really. All my 29 years, I have never felt this degree of tiredness that sometimes I can just KO (knock out) in just 5 min on the MRT home after school. My quality of sleep hasn't been good too... even if I do sleep, I wake up feeling like I didn't sleep. Its so annoying. Not that I'm dreaming either... sigh...

I still can't figure out what is causing this to happen to me... & I'm just wishing that this would quickly pass soon. I think most (if not all the teachers) in my school are burnt out, or approaching this burned out stage. But its only been 8 weeks!!!! GRRRR!!!!

Touched My Videographer's Heart

2009-02-19T22:50:00.010+08:00

I engaged Tham Wai Keen, as my wedding videographer last year & I must say that he did quite a good job from the start till finish. To cut the long story short, he initially promised to give us our DVD so that we could show to our relatives during CNY. However, this had to be delayed by an additional month because he fell very ill for 2 weeks, resulting in a lot of backlot cases. I guess many customers must have got angry, that's why he sounded so apologetic when he called me, asking if I would like to have a short unedited clip to show my relatives first, while he work on the full edited version.

When I received his call, I wasn't annoyed that he had to deliver his DVD one month later, but rather, I was actually concerned for his health. To be ill for 2 weeks such that he can't even work means that he must really be ill! How can I bear to demand anything? Not that I'm a person who demands things anyway...

Compassion set in (as Rebecca would put it), which made me ask 2 questions. The 1st question was - Is this additional DVD something that we had paid for, or is this something extra? Wai Keen replied that this is something extra, as an apology for not being able to deliver our DVD on time, as he had promised. My 2nd question was - How long do you take to do this one extra DVD, since you have other customers' DVDs to do as well? Wai Keen replied that each DVD would take about 1 day to do. When I heard that, I had made up my mind.

So I told Wai Keen that I do not need to have this extra unedited DVD and told him to use my extra 1 day to rest and spend time with his family. I sensed that at that moment, there was a silence, as he probably wondered how to respond to me. If I remembered correctly, I think he tried to ask me again if I would like to consider his suggestion. But I told him that its ok because not many relatives come over to my home during CNY anyway (coz most of the time, its the young people that visit the eldery). I urged him to take a rest or settle his remaining deadlines instead, as this extra 1 day could be well spent on something else more important... like health & family... noting that he has been working so hard...

When I received the final version of the DVDs from Wai Keen last night (he was meeting his friend for dinner & happened to be near my home), he passed me 3 copies of my DVD with very nice hard cover packaging! I was stunned... Wow... I wasn't expecting that. And he told me that he had upgraded my package by giving me a higher quality packaging. That's nice of him... but what touched my heart was that he personally wrote a card to me, thanking me for my kind gesture... & it meant a lot to him. I felt moved when I read that he welled up with emotions when I told him to use my extra 1 day to recover & spend time with his family. He told me that he was going through a difficult time & was depressed too... & I guess my kind gesture cheered him up.

Thinking back, I'm also not sure why I responded with such promptness when he suddenly called me out of the blue. I mean, its not like I had time to consider & re-consider before I made my decision. It was on the spot.

I guess its just me... I'm like that lor... compassionate guy... more or less lah. I can't change this part about me, & since it makes people feel better... its good that I don't change. I want to touch people's lives... or at least try to... although sometimes I accidentally do so without knowing. =)

Well, it goes to show that I don't have the heart to do business coz business is about getting what you want at the expense of others... & sometimes even to get more than what you initially had. I'm not like that lah. I will fail as a business man... my company sure close down... coz I would easily want to write off debts, than collect them. I don't like to be calculative about money. Its important to have money, but its not important to have more than necessary, especially at the expense of others.

Aiyah, this wedding DVD is for remembrance & sentiments only. Maybe when I grow old & lose my memory... this would come in useful. But in the end, ashes to ashes... dust to dust... but lives touched will never be the same... =)

Lost 5.2kg in 7 weeks!

2009-02-19T22:36:00.005+08:00

There was a complimentary health check up organised for teachers at my school today. Rebecca urged me to sign up for an additional component to test for Hepatitis A and B. It cost $32 per person, but I decided to go for it, as there is family history in Rebecca's family. Aiyah, health is more important than $32. Money can earn back, but health once gotten worse... it would cost even more to regain health.

Anyway, this is not the point of this Blog entry. Its not about this health check up... but rather, it is the shocking discovery that I had lost 5.2 kg in just 7 weeks! I was quite taken aback when I saw my weight. Well, I was on MC for 2 days last week because I had lost my voice (not due to shouting, but due to viral infection to my throat), but that couldn't have made me lost 5kg!

Maybe its the climbing up and down the stairs everyday in school that made me lose weight. And maybe its because I take 9 periods of PE a week. These are some possible reasons, but I think the greatest most contributing factor is becaue of the lack of food intake for 5 out of 7 days a week. I get hungry fast because of the rate that I burn energy. But the canteen food is sold in such small quantities & the afternoons are so packed with work and meetings that I can't seem to find the time to go outside for lunch. To walk out, order food, wait for food, eat the food & walk back to school would require 1 hour, at least. Where got this luxury?

Sigh... my wife was shocked to hear that I had lost 5.2 kg, but what can I do? I am already eating biscuits, chocolate, cup noodles (very occasionally) and extra slices of bread in the afternoon... but it still doesn't work...

Retrenched Pastors?

2009-02-15T21:23:00.003+08:00

Yeah, believe it or not... pastors have been retrenched before. I heard that it happened in Singapore too. I think that case was because the church membership dropped drastically & it affected the amount of finances that could be paid to the number of pastoral staff in that church. Hmm... I used to think that salaried pastoral staff have an iron rice bowl coz there are so many churches in Singapore & some, if not most, church members do give their regular tiding. Oh well, I guess I was wrong... probably depends on how each church is run...

Frequent Online Purchaser

2009-02-15T21:07:00.005+08:00

It has come to my realisation that I am becoming quite a regular online purchaser. Apparently, the things sold at local retail outlets do not appeal much to me... often enough... such that I end up having to search & buy my things online... very often from overseas websites.

Maybe its because the things that I like & want to buy are not easily available in Singapore... which often makes me wonder if I am weird... but I quite enjoy the experience of buying things online. Its either there or not, don't have to scout over so many retail outlets or different shopping centres to find something. If its there, just pay by credit card & wait for delivery! =)

Fire Evacuation Prank!

2009-02-15T20:57:00.005+08:00

Last Friday, a lower primary pupil smashed the glass of the fire alarm, setting off the alarm that shocked everyone out of the blue & brought the whole school down to the parade square in a matter of minutes! I am not sure whether to laugh it off or be angry about it.

The best part was that everyone thought that it was a surprise fire drill... until one teacher came up to the discipline master & reported that a pupil whom she was punishing, hit the fire alarm glass, out of anger.

The strangest part was that this wasn't the first time that a pupil did this. Last year, another lower primary pupil did the same act, out of anger... & some teachers still recalled last year's incident.

Oh well... after teaching for almost half a year in primary school, I have come to accept that many things could possibly happen... & some of these things can be really unexpected. Its quite an adventure actually, to be a teacher in a primary school... sometimes the least expected things can happen... it makes life interesting, yet annoying at times. Nowadays kids are so different from last time... just a short generation span of 20 year can make such a difference... scary... I worry how my own children could end up next time... with a more than 30 year generation gap.

Sometimes these things can be so difficult to predict. I have seen even kids from very good family background, end up misbehaving. I think its really about the influence that kids get around them nowadays... mostly from the media & their peers around. Its very sad... God, can You please do something, please? Please?

An Impulse for Exercise & Reflection

2009-02-15T20:46:00.007+08:00

I am a person who can get moody & easily annoyed about life & things when I don't get regular exercise. Since my young age, I am unable to comprehend why... but I have grown to accept this as part of who I am. Somehow my body just gives me annoyed feelings to hint to me that I am not feeding it with what it needs. Perhaps this may be a good thing, as exercise is important to maintain a healthy & strong body. And its not just for the physical body, but also for good mental health & emotions.

As I grew older, I began to realise that I get similarly annoyed when I do not give myself enough personal time to reflect. When I don't have enough time to be quiet to reflect, this missing ingredient starts to get me annoyed... in a matter of time... even when I give myself time to reflect, if it is rushed... it would get me even more annoyed.

What is it about me... hmm... just rushing through life? What is wrong... God, please help me...

黄金路

2009-02-14T23:31:00.006+08:00

This song is from the TCS drama serial 黄金路. Since the first time that I watched it (unfortunately it was already the 2nd episode), I have fallen in love with this song. The music is quite intense & gives the kind of emotion that cruises through my body.

Recently, when I bought the DVD set, I realised that the lyrics of this song is quite impactful. My wife Rebecca helped to explain what the chinese words meant (because my Mandarin is bad) & I decided to upload this lyrics to my Blog, for remembrance.

It is really a very remarkable drama serial with a lot of twists & turns to the storyline. Simply remarkable. Most of all, it really depicts how different each individual can choose to live our lives. Really a worthwhile show to watch! Speaks a lot about humans & about life... =)

黄金路

我们都该回头看看来时路
就算起风偶尔有雾模糊不了幸福
我们都该在心里数数感动的次数
谁陪你疯谁陪你笑拍拍肩一起追逐

多少爱错过了才看清楚
多少事无法弥补才认输
多少次以为找到了幸福
却发现一开始就是个错误

每一段路都是一段领悟
珍珠再夺目留不住心头热呼呼
真心的鼓舞能温暖一生的旅途
每一段路难免荆棘密布
把坚持牢牢握住不怕艰难险阻
学会去爱就不会迷路

捨不得

2009-02-14T23:25:00.004+08:00

捨不得

我没说，你没有问
就这样关上了心门
爱那么真情有多深
只能在心底找个人
拥抱的疑问会得几分
还在迷离飞腾
曾经的单纯远走的信任
必经那么并却回不了身
舍不得让你撑受更多伤痕
所以选择单方面加温
虽然我还未决定
放弃会不会快乐
一个人的未来该这么撑
舍不得听见你的哭泣声
所以选择面对你的眼神
让爱的人快乐是一种责任
就算分开比我想象的要疼

A missing chapter of my life in 2008...

2009-02-12T22:27:00.002+08:00

I took some time to read through my blog this evening & many memories flooded back. I really miss blogging... how I wish I could blog on a more regular basis. Thinking back on all my past memories that were captured in descriptive words, I started to feel a sense of regret for losing a big part of my life experiences last year, when I was so busy to blog.

I miss blogging, really. It is one thing that sets my heart & mind to reflect... & it deepens my awareness of myself in many aspects - intellectually, emotionally & spiritually. Of coz, I guess it benefits me physically too... because being able to release my pent up thought & emotions that are bugging my brain, is quite a stress reliever for me. Oh well, I really hope to blog more... come on, God... help me to make time to do so... even if its just once a week... but twice a week would be good... please... thank You... Amen.

Cruising Through the 6 states in the US

2008-12-23T00:53:00.014+08:00

Yup, you probably guessed it - we travelled to the United States for our honeymoon! Specifically, it was the West America region... & we cruised through 6 states (California, Fresno, Las Vegas, Palm Springs, Anaheim & Los Angeles) in 8 days (although it was an 11 days tour, but it included flight hours). It was a pretty decent trip in terms of its itinerary... but the events that took place where even more memorable!

We departed 1 day after our wedding (24 Nov), taking SQ16 to California (stopping for a 1 hour transit at Icheon airport in Korea). On the flight back, we took SQ11 from Los Angeles (stopping for another short 1 hour transit at Narita airport in Japan). The flight hours itself was long, about 17 - 19 hours for each flight trip to & from the US. But we entertained ourselves pretty well, with the inflight movies, handset games, music, meals (including instant mee) & of course, occasional trips to the small & squeezy toilet. *Laugh*... =)

Our overall experience of touring in US can be described in one consistent word - inconvenient. It took several hours to travel to each state (but that's understandable), its absolutely rare to come across a convenience store (to even buy basic toothpaste), its troublesome to keep finding spare cash to give tips (in varying %) & it can be many miles away from any nearby hospital, etc. It was quite scary to be stranded in the desert when our tour bus broke down for 7 hours! It was worrying to have to be driven in an emergency ambulance to a hospital (we have never been to a hospital overseas). It was annoying not to be able to find even a small convenience stall to buy painkillers, toothpaste, bottled water, etc.

As for scenery, it was nice... & it felt good to stand on top of the Grand Canyon! Universal Studios was fantastic too! Disneyland was ok, not too bad... very different from the time I went there at a very young age (I think I was 3 years old). Food is expensive in the US & each time I convert to Sing dollar, it amazes me how costly things can be! Clam chowder is fantastic though!

Initially I thought that my Blog entry has to be very, very, very long & detailed. But since my loving & doting wife has so nicely & creatively arranged our selected photos into a nice album... this Blog entry will be short! Thanks, Dearie! =)

1st Month of Married Life

2008-12-23T00:38:00.007+08:00

Its been more than 1 year of discussing & planning... & finally carrying out the program for my wedding on 22 Nov 08. It all started back in Aug 07, when Rebecca & I first got our keys to our own new 4-room HDB flat at Buangkok. Its not a perfect flat, as we grew to discover, but we thank God for His provision & blessings on us. Some of our peers have gone through much difficulty to get a flat, & some still have not been able to get a flat, even until now...

I don't even know where to start, as so much preparations came into place... literally sapping out all my remaining strength at the end of every day. It was such a tiring time that I wouldn't ever want to go through it all again! To all those who are planning to get married... ease up, its just part of what every married couple goes through... get used to it... grit your teeth & it will soon pass. Just don't forget to take a little, little time to smell the roses along the way. =)

Today is our first month of our married life together & so far, we had our ups & downs... but what's new... such things aren't new... we see it happening in our parents' lives, friends' lives, cartoons, movies, fiction stories, magazines, etc. Life isn't a bed of roses, whether we are relating with living things (trust me, even plants are not easy to take care) or working with machines. Such is life, but life is not all about bad stuff either... it has its good times... just cling onto these memories, pray & stay in God's plan for your life... even though that wouldn't promise you a cushy life either. Life is hard... its meant to be... if it wasn't, we wouldn't learn & grow... we'll just wither & die... early... & God ain't gonna let that happen.

So far, in my past 28 years of experience in life, especially as I grow older & wiser (I hope), I have learnt that the best way to live life is to learn how to see good, even in the midst of bad... learn to be thankful & smile for even the smallest blessings... & follow your heart, don't ever look back to regret. Life is too short to groan your days away. As I always say - we only live once! Heck, get on with it! Amen! =)

From Land to Children...

2008-12-23T00:14:00.007+08:00

Over this past year or so, I have had a large variety of experiences. God opened up a job opportunity for me to work at Singapore Land Authority (SLA) & it has been a great joy to have got to know many nice colleagues (some of them have become my friends). It was a stressful job, especially with my manager being difficult to work with. As they say, when people leave their jobs, more often than not, it is because of people issues. But difficult times bring people together, which is why I still find it a blessing to have bonded with my dept colleagues - Melatie, Ru Ying & Galen. Not to mention a few others from other depts... & some attended my recent wedding.

My job scope at SLA was tedious... basically, I work with numbers (i.e. statistics) day in & day out. Numbers & numbers every day can just drive me crazy! But I got used to the job scope after 2 - 3 months, but the way the work was going on, plus the difficult boss... drove us up the wall... literally almost every other day. It just depends whose turn it is each day...

I have never worked such long hours at the office, until I took this job. Its usually dark when I go home... quite a depressing sight initially, until I got used to it. On good days, I could leave by 7pm. However, on average, it was usually between 7 - 8pm daily... which isn't too bad, though I am just too exhausted to do anything after reaching home after 9pm. I remember that I would almost 95% of the time, totally KO on my bus or MRT journey home. It was unbelievable. And on bad days, I would be working till 8.30pm, or 8.45pm... sometimes till 9.30pm... at times till close to 10pm... & even once till past midnight.

It was depressing... clocking 60 hour work week is no joke... & I found the work so meaningless! Even so, the camaraderie among my dept colleagues was strong... but the time came, when I had to make a choice - to either follow my heart & move to another more suitable job, or to hang on & wait till something else happens... it was a very, very tough decision, as I contemplated, sulked, complained, prayed & seeked advice, for more than 1 month... before I decided to drop it all & move ahead with this new opportunity that God had opened for me.

After 5 attempts to apply for this job, God finally gave me a chance to become a teacher - a primary school teacher. Honestly, after 3 months in this job, I still find it difficult to believe that I am actually in this job. It is rewarding in a sense, something which I can never experience while working in the corporate world. But with this job, comes much pains & emotions, which can be quite agonising at times... agonising, not because of the hard work, but because I care & really want to help these kids, but so many are rebellious, bad attitude & disinterested in studies nowadays. I find it so difficult to help those who do not want to be helped. And I am not even mentioning about those 'special' kids whom have learning & communication difficulties.

Its quite sad, sometimes when I think about it, but I have not given up yet. I guess it is about surrendering to God & let Him work out what He intends to develop in me. For all things work together for the good of those who love Him, & who have been called according to His purpose. This verse is somewhere in the book of Philippians... Amen.

I have been away... long...

2008-12-12T23:03:00.003+08:00

Wow... its been 13 months since I last blogged! Exactly 13 months! My last blog entry was 11 Nov 07... today is 12 Dec 08... exactly 13 months! I have been so caught up with so many things that I haven't had time to blog... so much has happened over the past 13 months... I don't even know where to start... but its great to be back here blogging... it really helps to áir' my thoughts & 'defrag' my mind...

Completely - Lyrics

2007-11-11T01:29:00.000+08:00

Completely

The secret of life is letting go
The secret of love is letting it show
In all that I do, In all that I say
Right here in this moment

The power of prayer is in a humble cry
The power of change is in giving my life
And laying it down, down at your feet
Right here in this moment

Chorus
Take my heart, Take my soul
I surrender everything to your control
And let all that is with in me
Lift up to you and say
I am yours and yours alone
Completely

This journey of life is a search for truth
This journey of faith is following you
Every step of the way
Through the joy and the pain
Right here in this moment

Bridge

Right here, right now
And for the rest of my life
Hear me say
(Repeat Chorus)

'Voice of Truth' - Lyrics

2007-11-11T01:22:00.000+08:00

Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand

But the waves are calling out my name
And they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy, you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Chorus
But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out my name
And he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
Time and time again, "Boy you'll never win!"
"You'll never win!"

Bridge
But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me

Lyrics of 'Facing The Giants' Soundtrack

2007-11-11T01:19:00.000+08:00

I watched 'Facing The Giants' DVD while ironing clothes tonight & I cried several times again. I still think that its an inspiring show which touches people's hearts. I intend to post the lyrics of my favourite songs in my Blog... =)

My Prayer For A Multitude of People

2007-11-03T12:06:00.000+08:00

"Dear Lord, bless all my friends and family in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day. May their life be full of your peace, love, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you. Amen."

I have sent this short e-mail to my friends in my e-mail address book. I am encouraged because within hours/days, a multitude of people would have received this prayer & hopefully encourage them to also say a short prayer for other people. This is how we can watch the power of God work in our lives.

"When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need."

A Dream From God…

2007-10-27T08:38:00.000+08:00

I was woken up by a dream at about 6:30am this morning... & I felt so strongly the presence of God speaking to me & I talking to God. I'm still feeling very tired becoz I have only slept 3.5 hours but I decided to wake up & do what honors & pleases God.

In the dream, God used Rebecca's Dad to speak to me, juz like how he spoke to me in the room last night. In that dream, Uncle John asked me about some of those games that I'm playing online (i.e. Face Book) & asked me if it is pleasing to God.

Immediately I sensed that God was speaking to me about those games with unGodly images, referring to my 4 very high rankings in 'Slayers', 'Vampires', 'Werewolves' & 'Zombies'. I have spent time to build up my rank in these 4 games, but these games are not pleasing to God.

At first, I reasoned to Uncle John that I was brought up differently from his children, so I'm quite okay abt such games. But after that, I stopped coz that was when I felt God speaking most gently to my heart, asking "Is this honoring to Me?" At that moment, I stopped & decided to make my decision to honor & obey God even if it means deleting away 4 characters which I have taken time every day to train up & achieve top 3 ranking among all my friends.

At first, I was still hesitant, asking myself if this is actually a small matter coz these are just pictures. But the more I reasoned in my mind, the more I felt that God is right. Those images are not honoring & pleasing to Him, regardless of whether I can 'live' with these pictures. And pictures can cloud our mind & obscure it from being sensitive to God. Since God has specifically spoke to me, how can I deny it? Of coz, I could ignore God but I chose to obey. Even wif just 3.5 hours of sleep & being abruptly woken up fr a dream, I dragged myself out of bed, logged on & deleted them.

I tell u, I felt so much better after doing that. I had made a choice to honor God, especially after watching that movie 'Facing The Giants' & set myself to commit to a life that honors Him in all that I do. I'm not perfect but God doesn't need me to run the show. He just seeks my participation.

God has been working in my life & I have been sensing that a lot lately. From my brother's DVD, online sermons & a worship song sent by Carol. Praise God! I can't describe enough on how I have been feeling about God working in me, but He has & I'm so glad about it. Even a tourist can say that I'm different from typical Singaporeans!

This DVD that Rebecca & I will be watching tomorrow WILL speak to our hearts. God will speak to Rebecca too, just as He has convicted my heart. I have made that conviction a part of my life & work. I also wish to encourage Rebecca to do the same. God spoke to me & told me to tell her this... & I cried becoz I felt so touched by God. =)

Witnessing A Miracle!

2007-10-27T07:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the last (non-working) weekday that I could go hiking at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve before I start my new job this coming Monday. I have been hesitant about going alone for this entire week (coz it may not be very safe), but on Thursday night, I made up my mind to do so, at least just once for myself, before I start work again. Surprisingly, after several days of waking up at past 10am, I actually woke up at 6:50am yesterday! I didn't know how come & neither was I expecting something to happen that morning...

It was a sleepy morning, as I dragged myself through the journey there. Honestly, I was looking forward to the hike, but not the long journey there, coz I had to take bus, take MRT, then take bus again, before walking quite far to get there. But little did I know tt God had already planned something in store for me... & the way this was going to happen, is when I'm all by myself, alone.

Honestly, it is a quite a long & troublesome journey to get to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve. Although it takes slightly more than 1 hour to reach there, having to change several modes of transport in the early morning (considering that I only slept less than 6 hours) can be quite annoying to me. But I really wanted to take this opportunity to do so, before this opportunity becomes more rare...

As I was on the bus towards Bukit Timah Nature Reserve & when it was nearing the place, about 6 - 7 bus stops away, all of the sudden... it started to drizzle! I was startled! In my mind, I was thinking, "Oh no! Have I come all the way here for nothing? Just to go home? Argh... God! Why did You do this to me?!" I was feeling REALLY annoyed coz I had come a long way to get here & just when I'm so close to reaching there, it started to drizzle! And as we all know, Bukit Timah Nature Reserve can be quite slippery if it had just rained. My hopes were dashed!

I prayed to God, "Please stop the rain... Please stop the rain... Please... Please..." But the clouds grew more grey & soon I saw people carrying umbrellas... & I was thinking, "Oh no! Come on, God! I didn't come all the way here for nothing! I feel like a FOOL! Why, God... Why?" And as I sat there in my seat, feeling uptight & angry... the rain started pouring down. It wasn't a very heavy downpour, but it was REALLY raining (no more drizzling). I was like praying, "God! Come on! How come the rain just got heavier? Eh, come on lah..." And the more I thought about it, the more upset I became...

Suddenly, I felt a quiet sense of stubbornness inside & I didn't want to let go of this opportunity to hike. It was like 4 bus stops from where I should alight. So I picked up my hopes & prayed, "God, I really want to hike... & I came all the way from home to do so. I really don't want to go home like this. Its my last chance! I'm starting work soon! Come on, God... I know You can turn this around... I know You can change this... so I'm going to pray in faith that You will stop this rain. Come on, God... just hold the rain for 2 hours... Please..."

It continued to rain, but I didn't want to give up yet. So I started to pray in faith... & I persisted in prayer... I kept praying & praying without ceasing. I told God, "I'm going to pray in faith that You will make this happen... No, I'm going to pray in faith, as if You have ALREADY done it. Yes, God... Thank You for stopping the rain. I praise You & I thank You for stopping the rain. Yes, God... the rain is going to stop so that I can hike. Lord, I praise You for You have answered my prayer. Thank You, Lord. I know You can make this happen. I thank You that You have stopped the rain." And I persisted & persisted, believing that God can make this happen.

The highlight of this hiking trip is NOT the hike itself, but the faith journey that I encountered on my way there! As I continued praying without stopping, I saw that the rain has become less heavy. It was still drizzling, but it wasn't so heavy already. It was about 1 bus stop before I alight from the bus & I was asking myself, "How? Should I get down the bus? Should I go by faith & make the hike? What if the rain doesn't stop? By now, the forest floor would have been damp already... should I still hike? What if I slipped & fell down the slope? Should I still go? Argh, go lah! Pray & go in faith! Even if its raining, I still need to cross over to the other side of the road & take the bus back to the MRT station!"

So I alighted from the bus... & it was still drizzling. I felt so embarassed becoz I was wearing my hiking shoes & some people were looking at me, having this look like - "What is this guy trying to do? Its raining!" I even had to take out my umbrella to shelter myself. All these while, I still kept praying, refusing to give up. Even while walking in the drizzle, in my water-proof hiking shoes... I still prayed... clinging on to whatever faith that I had...

I was praying, "God... Come on... Please stop the rain... or at least just hold it for 1 hour or so... until I finish the hike. Please, God. I'm just clinging on to my faith that You can do this. Will You do this for me? I'm asking You... I'm begging You... Please, God... Please hold the rain..."

As I walked, I noticed that the drizzle started to get lesser... & lesser. When I tried to close my umbrella, I had to open it up again coz there was still a drizzle. I kept praying, "Oh no... Come on, God... You can do this... Will You do this for me? Please? Come on, just hold the rain for 1 hour... just 1 hour will do... Please, God..."

And as I continued walking, I felt a wind blowing... & I was wondering, "What is this about? How come suddenly got wind? The wind is blowing the rain droplets at my face. Hmm..." As I prayed, I began to notice that the clouds were becoming less grey. More clear skies & clouds were appearing! Yippee! Its a sign! So I closed my umbrella & continued to pray in faith, "Thank You for stopping the rain! More sun! Yes, God... More sun!"

And indeed the drizzle soon stopped! Then I realised, "Oh! The wind is blowing the grey clouds away! Wow!" Soon, more & more clear skies appeared & the grey clouds disappeared from sight! There, as I walked, I was thanking God & wondering to myself, "Wow! How did this happen? In a short span of 5 - 10 mins, the rain stopped & the sky cleared? Wow! God, You are amazing!"

By the time I reached that final stretch of road upwards to Bukit Timah Nature Reserve, the rain had completely stopped & the grey clouds were gone! There was still no sun, but it was all clear skies above! Wow! I tried to be funny & said, "Hey God... while You're at it, why don't You keep the rain away until I reach home?" And I smiled in my heart...

When I reached the toilet to change, there was still parts of the floor outside that was still damp & there was no sun. But God is good... when I changed & came out of the toilet, the sun started to shine down! So I began my hike... & it was amazing becoz the forest ground & soil was dry! It was a safe hike & I thanked God for it!

For some, they may think that its just a stopping of rain... & it has happened before. But to me, its a miracle happening before my very eyes becoz I prayed persistently until it happened... & all these happened in just 10 min!

And guess what? Remember my prayer that God would hold the rain till I reached home? It didn't even rain the whole of yesterday! Thank You, God! =)

"You only need a room..."

2007-10-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

My Mum just said a very funny remark that made me roar with laughter!

My Dad asked me, "Why you don't come out? Don't always whole day stay in the room." Then my Mum asked, "So you whole day stay in the room...?" I replied, "Ya... I'm a home person." So my Mum remarked, "I think you don't need a house, you just need a room. You eat in the room, you do everything in the room, except pang sai. Next time when you stay in the masterbed room, so you don't have to come out anymore..."

Hahahahahaha!!! I'm still laughing as I type this!!! Hahahahahaha!!! =)

Being Close To God Everyday...

2007-10-25T17:44:00.001+08:00

"Without God, our week is: Mournday, Tearsday, Wasteday, Thirstday, Fightday, Shatterday and Sinday. So, allow Him to be with you everyday!"

Applying This To My Job

2007-10-23T15:55:00.000+08:00

What is the purpose of my job (whatever it is)?
- It is one of the tools that God has given me to honor Him.
- It is also an opportunity to love others as myself.

Why should achieving success in my job not be my main goal?
- Life is not about me, its about God & honoring Him.
- Doing well in my job is too small a thing to live for.
- I am not put on Earth just to make money, achieve success & die.
- Even great achievements will soon be forgotten.

Does God care about my work?
- God cares about my faith. He cares about where my heart is.
- If I live out your faith at work, then God cares about my job because He cares about me.

What do I want to achieve in my job?
- I want to be a good testimony for God & reach others for Him.
- I want God to bless me in my job so much that people talk about what He did!

How am I going to do that?
- I have got to give Him my best in every area of my work.
- If I do well, I praise Him. And if I fail, I still praise Him.
- Either way, I want to honor Him with my actions & my attitude.
- Once I resolve to give God everything I have, I'll leave the result to Him.

How To Live On Purpose

2007-10-23T15:06:00.000+08:00

This is a dialogue between the football coach & his players from the movie 'Facing The Giants'. Maybe this will help me clear my thoughts about my job, my relationships with people & my life.

Coach: What is the purpose of this team?
Player: To win ball games?

Coach: Then what?
Player: Then we get a trophy & people talk about it.

Coach: Maybe, for awhile, then what?
Player: Get a scholarship? Play for college? And coach literally? What are you getting it? You think we are just wasting our time?

Coach: If our main goal is to win football games, then yes.
Player: You don't want us to win games?

Coach: No, not if that's our main goal. Winning football games is too small a thing to live for. And I love football as much as anybody. But even championship trophies will one day collect dust & be forgotten. Its just that so far all these has been about us. How we can look good. How we can get the glory.

Coach: The more I read this book (pointing to the Bible), the more I realise that life is not about us. We are not here just to make money, get glory & die. The Bible says that God put us here for Him. To honor Him. Jesus said the most important thing that you can do with your life is to love God with everything that you are & love others as yourself.

Coach: So if we win every game & we miss that, we've done nothing. Football then means nothing. So I'm here to present you with a new team philosophy. I think football is just one of the tools that we use to honor God.

Player: So you think God cares about football?

Coach: I think He cares about your faith. He cares about where your heart is. And if you live your faith out there on the football field, then yes, God cares about football, because He cares about you! He sent His Son Jesus to die for us, so that we can live forever. That's why we're here!

Coach: But you see, its not just on the football field. We've got to honor Him in our relationships, in our respect for authority, in the classroom & when you're alone at home surfing the Internet.

Coach: I want God to bless this team so much that people talk about what He did! Which means we've got to give Him our best in every area. And if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way, we honor Him with our actions & our attitudes. So I'm asking you, who are you living for?

Coach: I've resolved to give God everything I've got. Then I'll leave the result to Him. I'll want to know if you'll join me.

Mindset About Working Hours

2007-10-23T13:58:00.000+08:00

Recently, I have asking myself everyday about why I feel so mentally constrained by the limits of my starting & ending working hours of each day. If the employment contract states, for example 8:30am - 6pm, how is it that by the time I watch the time reach 6pm, I keep having this bugging thought that its time to go home?

Is it becoz I really see my job as just earning an income & giving my time just for that 8.5 working hours each day? Is it becoz I don't see meaning in staying beyond my stated working hours? Is it becoz I would rather do something else? Is it becoz work is boring &/or stressful? Is it becoz I'm procrastinating coz I want to leave the rest of the work till the next day? Is it becoz I feel that I'm not paid well enough to work overtime? But what if I get paid more, would I feel motivated to work overtime? Is it becoz I want to spend time with my wife & kids? Is it becoz I want to exercise before dinner? Is it becoz I'm feeling tired & want to go home?

There are so many questions that bug me, whenever the clock hits 6pm. And seriously, I'm beginning to think that its not how much that I'm paid, that determines how committed that I am to be willing (or even glad) to work beyond the stated office hours.

Well, here are my personal reasons that I can pluck from the entire paragraph of questions above:

1) I see my job as earning an income (not something to pledge my life).
2) I believe that there is more meaning to life than just work.
3) I wish to exercise before dinner (if not everything gets pushed back).
4) I wish to spend time with my wife & children (in future).
5) I do feel tired after a long day of work (esp if the work is intense).
6) I do not wish my life to be just work, until I reach home to sleep.

Sometimes I think about Rebecca's teaching job & I ask myself what really drives her to want to put in more hours at home (at night) to mark books, prepare lessons, plan activities, etc. She has already worked from 7am - 6pm. That's 11 hours. Assuming she puts in another 2 hours of marking in the evenings, that would be 12-13 hours of work each day. In 5 days, that's 65 hours! Plus, she spends time to do work on weekends too. Assuming both Saturday & Sunday totals 5 hours, that would mean she works 70 hours a week! That's crazy! To me, at least...

She says that she finds her job meaningful & I think it is too. But seriously thinking, would I do that if I were in her shoes? At this point of time, I would honestly say "No". Its not that I mind waking up early, coz I already did that for 2.5 years in the Army... but rather, I just find it so inappropriate to bring work home. There ought to be a line drawn or at least during weekends!

Okay, so the good thing is that teachers have holidays in June & Dec every year. Although they have courses to attend, CCA to be involved in & school meetings to attend... well, at least their total number of rest days are more than an average person's annual leave. But still, would I still want to work 70 hours a week? I still don't think so... even if they paid me $3000 or $4000, I would still not want to put in 70 hours a week.

Even farmers & rubber cutters in the past woke up early, but they stop work after sun down. Even hawkers nowadays wake up early, but may not necessarily work the entire day. Some open their stalls early in the morning, but close shop by late afternoon. Some open their stalls only at night (about 6-7pm) & close shop about 1-2am. Even for food court hawkers, they open their stalls at 11am & close shop by 9pm. And some of these food sellers are earning more than us average earners who slog in schools or organizations! Some hawkers also get to drive big cars & go for overseas holidays. Plus, being a food seller also has peak & non-peak period. So it isn't all slogging 10 hours a day. Whereas at work, its ongoing e-mails, reports, phone calls, meetings, events, etc.

What really makes some people willing to put in these long hours into their job? Besides the typical reasons like promotion, higher pay & meaning in their job? Seriously, I can only think of these 3 reasons! Coz I know of many other people who REALLY start & end work on the dot... & they go home happy. In my 1st company, most people in the office go home by 6pm. In my 2nd company, most people go home by 5:30pm. My Mum herself has been working for 30 years & she also knocks off at 5:30pm to take the company shuttle bus directly home. So privileged! This was until she recently took this job, but she still reaches home by 7pm everyday.

So what about me? I'm not ambitious for huge amounts of pay or promotion. I derive meaning in my work in terms of reaching out to my colleagues & being a good testimony at work, & I also find my purpose & meaning in my ministry in church. So I don't find myself motivated in terms of working overtime! Am I supposed to feel great satisfaction in working later than everyone? I do that a lot in my past 2 jobs, but neither did I feel great about myself. Neither did I get anything significant in terms of pay & promotion (which I'm not pursuing anyway).

Now you see why I feel so confused? Why is it that many people are able to work & go home on time, feeling happy, finding the time to exercise, going out with friends, spending time with spouse... whereas others have much less than this? I want the former, not the latter! To make things worse, nowadays job natures have changed... people are now working out of the office as well... checking their e-mail at home, replying their e-mail via PDA, working on reports into late at night, staying in touch with the latest updates at work over the weekend, using mobile phone to SMS colleagues on Saturday & Sunday, bringing laptop even when going overseas, etc. What is the world coming to? Sometimes I REALLY wish that I'm a hawker! Even working in retail has fixed opening & closing hours! But the drawback is that it involves working on weekends.

So where does all these leave me? I'm STILL confused. I know that teachers, pastors, actors / actresses, TV hosts, professional athletes, self-employed people & defence personnel work long hours... but others still have a fixed shift or regular working hours. What makes these people want to stay on in their job? Coz of interest, challenge &/or meaning? That's true... but they can still have this satisfaction in being in this job, but not necessarily when working long tedious hours!

So what is the whole crux that drives people to be willing to work long hours? I STILL don't get it... Oh, maybe its becoz of peer pressure (i.e. being kiasu) &/or not wanting to lose their job. But surely there is MORE to life than just working long hours, isn't it? If this job REALLY makes you work long, long hours... maybe a change of job may ACTUALLY be a blessing! I think its all just a vicious cycle... maybe that's one thing that I will be glad for, when I actually get to heaven, coz no more 'kiasu' people... I don't think angels are 'kiasu'...

Oh well, in conclusion (I'm still confused), I will still strive to do my best at where God puts me, until He decides to move me to some place else... I keep telling myself everyday that God is more interested in developing my character, than my comfort. Come on, God... Talk to me...

APPLES

2007-10-23T13:54:00.000+08:00

What does APPLES stand for? It refers to 'Application for Passport Online Electronic System'. I learnt & did something good today... I helped my Dad to apply for his passport online! I also learnt how to modify my internet browser settings for Java script & pop-up settings, in order to pay for the passport cost via e-Nets! Happy! =)

No Habit of Biting?

2007-10-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

My Mum was watching 'Japan Hour' on TV when she commented that the Japanese do not bite their food, but rather... they put the whole piece into their mouth! Of coz, if the food is too big, they would cut it into pieces first... but I really didn't know that they don't bite their food! Interesting!

Mimicking Darth Maul...

2007-10-22T23:00:00.001+08:00

In July this year, I had the priviledge of attending a 1 day course on presentation skills for managers... & something interesting happened during that afternoon...

During one of the group exercises on the portraying of emotion in our voices, I was asked by the trainer to mimick the voice of a person in a audio clip. It turned out that it was the voice of Darth Maul, the villian from Star Wars episode 1!

I smiled when I was asked to give it a try at mimicking Darth Maul's sinister voice... & it turned out that I surprised the entire class including the trainer because I could do it so well! I can still remembered the astonished look on the trainer's face! She looked stunned!

During the last group exercise, when I was asked to present on a certain topic, I received a good grade & the trainer commented that I'm quite a natural presenter! Yippee! Maybe its becoz I get to present a lot in my job at SNEF, or maybe I have at least some ability in this! Hee! Praise God! =)

Interesting Yet Perculiar Habit of Fathers

2007-10-22T22:54:00.000+08:00

I noticed that fathers (at least in our parents' generation) seem to have this very interesting, yet perculiar habit of persisting in watching TV till they fall asleep in front of the TV. Up till now, I still don't understand why they would persist even when tired. Why not just go to sleep? Or do something else besides just watching TV? I find this such a generation gap coz nowadays we youngsters have more variety of things to do...

Profile Certification

2007-10-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

I have been tossing around this idea in my head for over a month now... & its about my interest in taking up a professional certification in profiling certification. Since my earlier years in JC, I have been exposed & became interested in different types of profiling. Examples include Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), Temperament Profiling (Melancholy, Sanguine, Choleric & Phelgmatic), Personality Profiling (Eagle, Dove, Owl & Peacock), etc.

Later on during my university years, I assisted my church pastor in the Taylor Johnson Temperament Analysis (TJTA) for a large group of my church youths. Subsequent years, I was exposed to DISC personality profiling, career counseling profiling, etc.

This is definitely one area of my interest, although I don't see myself doing this in my career (at least at this point of time). But I am glad to assist to administer this in my church. Hopefully one day, when I have the money... I would sign up for a certification course in some of these...

Daddy & the Tentacle!

2007-10-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

Some weeks ago, my brother brought home a few packets of pre-prepared BBQ food, of which one of the varieties was squid / sotong. After my Mum had heated up the sotong as one of the dishes for dinner, my Dad exclaimed, "Eh... come... eat the tentacle..." And I burst out laughing! What a word! I haven't heard this word being used for a very, very long time! =)

Interpreting 'Woodlands'

2007-10-22T22:33:00.000+08:00

While waiting for the MRT last week, I found myself gazing at the word 'Woodlands' for quite some time. The more I looked at the word, the more that I began to picture in my mind, that this place is literally forest & trees! What a name! Hahahahaha... =)

Inspiring Quotes From 'Facing The Giants'

2007-10-22T22:31:00.000+08:00

This movie is so impactful that I'm actually typing my 3rd Blog entry about it! This time, its about quotes which really spoke to me... & I thought of sharing with everyone who reads this...

Coach Taylor: “I want God to bless this team so much that people talk about what He did. But we need to give Him our best in every area. And if we win, we praise Him; and if we lose we praise Him. Either way. We honor Him with our actions and our attitudes.”

Coach Taylor: “Your attitude is the aroma of your heart. If your attitude stinks, it means your heart’s not right.”

Coach Taylor to his wife, Brooke: "If the Lord never gives us children, will you still love Him?”

David's Father on a wheelchair: "Your actions will always follow your beliefs. If you accept defeat, then that's what you'll get."

There are SO MANY more quotes that I can't remember... but I will be watching the DVD again! Praise the Lord!

Correlation Between Stomach & Brain

2007-10-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

I recalled an SMS from Carol where she shared this very interesting point between how much we can hear from God, in relation to how full is our stomach.

I was struggling to decide which job I should accept at that point of time, when Carol messaged, "FAST! When your stomach's empty, you hear better." Wonderful correlation. Thanks, Carol!

My First Purchase Online!

2007-10-22T16:04:00.000+08:00

The music score from the movie 'Facing The Giants' so moved my heart that I decided to go online to purchase the movie soundtrack! Its my first online purchase! Weeee! =)

'Facing The Giants'

2007-10-22T15:27:00.000+08:00

When I woke up this morning & walked to the living room, I saw this DVD next to the TV, so I walked over to pick it up to find out what this movie is all about. The title of this movie is 'Facing The Giants', an inspiring movie about a rugby team in America.

When I turned over to the back cover of this DVD, I noticed that this movie isn't filmed by a secular film maker, but actually a church! In my mind, I was thinking... "Okay, this is different... but maybe its just another one of those inspiring sports shows... but I enjoy watching such shows, so I'll watch it over my breakfast & see what this show is about..."

Little did I know that God used this movie to REALLY touch my heart... & I actually cried 17 times in this 112 min movie! 17 times! The music score is excellent & strikes deep into my heart strings. The plot is great, as it encompasses not just the sport of rugby, but also about real life issues such as belief, purpose, attitude, teamwork, peer pressure, discouragement, faith & even infertility in marriage.

Just watching how these actors & actresses struggle through these circumstances just touched the inner core of my heart. Btw, later on I realised (when I watched the commentary) that they are ALL members & volunteers from that small church called Sherwood Baptist Church at Albany, Georgia. None of them earned any money out of this movie making, but everyone gave their utmost because it came from a unique vision of their church.

Michael Catt, the Senior Pastor of Sherwood Baptist Church, has a vision... & he believes that his church can "reach the world from Albany, Georgia." For that to happen, they needed to be creative. The pastors learnt from a survey that TV is one of the most influential sources for the people in America.

Fortunately, the church's pastoral staff includes a pair of brothers with a lifelong dream to make movies. Thus, they decided that they wanted to change how ministry can be done & to reach others through another creative avenue. Thus, Sherwood Pictures, the church's unique film-making ministry, was born!

It all started with their first movie production titled 'Flywheel' which they took only $20,000 to make by renting film equipment, getting volunteers, etc. By the work of God, this movie was filmed in the theatres & many came out crying & wanted to find out more about God. And many of the believers came out wanting to establish a stronger relationship with God! It was so heart warming just to hear this happen! How I wish I could be involved in this area of ministry too!

Thereafter, from the award winning producers of Flywheel, comes this movie 'Facing The Giants', an action-packed drama about a Christian high school football coach who uses his undying faith to battle the giants of fear and failure.

In six years of coaching, Grant Taylor has never led his Shiloh Eagles to a winning season. After learning that he and his wife Brooke face infertility, Grant discovers that a group of fathers are secretly organizing to have him dismissed as head coach. Devastated by his circumstances, he cries out to God in desperation.

When Grant receives a message from an unexpected visitor, he searches for a stronger purpose for his football team. He dares to challenge his players to believe God for the impossible on and off the field. When faced with unbelievable odds, the Eagles must step up to their greatest test of strength and courage.

What transpires is a dynamic story of the fight between faith and fear. 'Facing the Giants' is indeed a very powerful experience for the whole family & inspiring viewers to live with faith, hope, and love!

Trust me, this is an excellent movie! Never had any movie made me cry 17 times! I was literally wiping off my flowing tears throughout the movie. My eyes were literally sore after the movie! For a guy like me who rarely cries, well... this movie REALLY touches our hearts... & I believe God has used this area of ministry to touch many more lives as well... as He did for me. Praise the Lord! =)

Hooked on Face Book!

2007-10-21T00:47:00.001+08:00

A few days ago, I received this e-mail from William (one of my friends from the part-time course that I am currently taking) with this invitation to join Face Book, a "social utility that connects you with people around you." (extracted from their website)

Since then, I have been hooked! I would spend a few hours each day, playing all sorts of games in this interactive website & I must admit that I am quite good!

"Want to see more? Call this number..." (Taken from that Mocca body builder advertisement)

No lah, if you want to see more, check out this website - http://www.facebook.com. Look for me & you will find me there! =)

"Lembek" - My New Vocabulary!

2007-10-21T00:31:00.000+08:00

I came by church on Saturday afternoon to meet Rebecca after her volunteer tuition class for 'at risk' primary school kids from Mainland China. After her tuition, we had a good chat with Pastor Abel, followed by another good chat with Pastor Enoch before we left.

During our chat with Pastor Enoch, he mentioned this Malay word which rocked some laughter inside my heart! This is the word as defined in this Singlish dictionary that I found online...

LEMBEK (lurm-be'h) - A Malay term meaning limp, flaccid or physically weak.

We were talking about politics at the workplace & even in churches (as long as there are people, there is bound to be differences), when Pastor Enoch used this term "Lembek" to refer to missionaries who live in 3rd world countries. Paraphrasing, Pastor Enoch said, "People who are sent to these places are not those "lembek" kind... they are strong..."

I found this Malay term is funny & laughed with Rebecca, after we had walked out of the church! Rebecca even guessed that this would be my new vocabulary that I will start using on people! She is quite right... & I remembered her words, saying... "I can read you like a book..." =)

Oh btw, that online Singlish dictionary had this REALLY hilarious logo! *Clap Clap* Must give credit to them mah. I was so amused by this logo that I copied & pasted it into this Blog entry! Here it is...

Isn't it hilarious? Hahahaha... =)

Distinct Sensitive Noses!

2007-10-16T18:59:00.000+08:00

Hahahaha... I have known this at the back of my mind for a long time already, but somehow it just became so obvious to me today... so I decided to Blog this interesting characteristic between Rebecca & me. Both of us have sensitive noses... but what distinguishes us apart is what our noses are able to pick up.

My nose starts to get runny before the rain comes... not kidding, it does! And so, most of the time, I am able to tell when its going to rain. Thus, my nose has a proactive alert feature... just like birds who fly away & animals who run away when they instinctively sense danger. =)

On the other hand, Rebecca is able to smell haze in the air. I used to give her this nickname called "PSI Dog"... coz dogs have a keen sense of smell & she is born in the Chinese Calendar Year of the dog! =)

For some unknown reason, my nose is completely unable to smell haze. Maybe there is some missing nasal folicals that are missing from my nose. I can smell exhaust fumes, cigarette smoke, burning incense, etc... but I am just unable to smell haze. I don't remember ever smelling haze before. Not sure how it smells like. Good & bad lah...

Coming to Terms with my Change in Status

2007-10-14T21:25:00.001+08:00

I came home late last night after dinner with Sean, Shannon (his new GF) & Rebecca. As of last night, it had only been 1 day since I had signed the employment contract with that statutory board... & I am still trying to come to terms with my change in status. Its like I am changing my race from Chinese to something else!

I have not yet come to fully accept that I had become a civil servant! But it REALLY is quite interesting coz with this new job that I am taking up, I would have worked in private company, union & the civil service! That's like having a tripartite work exposure! Wow! Thank God!

Furthermore, I have still not yet come to terms with accepting that I actually will be entitled to good staff benefits in this new job, coz my current job doesn't have benefits! Except for the typical leave & group medical insurance. So suddenly I am told that I would be getting this benefit & that benefit... & I was like - WAH! Such a new thing to me! Hahahaha... Thank God! =)

Trio Combo!

2007-10-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

It has been an eventful week of mental & emotional 'toss & turns'. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Lots & lots that I have been thinking about, until I came to the point where I have reached the 'edge of the cliff' & the only way forward is to take a leap of faith - to keep praying (even though the answer is not very clear), to trust God (that His timing is perfect & His plan at this phase of my life is right) and then to actually take this step of faith!

No kidding, this can be frightening! But I am thankful that once I have made my decision, after many days of pondering, prayer & consulting with Rebecca, my parents & her parents... my state of heart & mind started to become clearer & more peaceful. Sometimes I think I worry too much, coz even after worrying for days or weeks, all this worrying didn't seem to make my situation any much clearer anyway. In fact, it made me worry even more coz I have already been worrying for so many days... & still not able to come to a decision... so that became even more worrying! Oh well, it was quite a stressful decision for me, but I guess that learning to live, accept & adapt to my decision develops maturity in me.

First Job Offer

On Monday, I received a call & e-mail from the Executive Director of a training consultancy private company stating that I have been offered a job - doing sales & facilitating school projects. When I first heard this good news, I was delighted! Finally, I have been offered a job after 1 month of applying! Ok, I must admit that my job application hasn't been very intensive coz I seriously do not know what type of job that I am really looking out for. All that was relatively clear to me, was that I was hoping that this job would give me a stable & reasonable income, good benefits & work-life balance.

There are so many things that I wish to do, but not everything can become a long-term job / career. Furthermore, some of these things do not fall into the category of my preference factors as shared in the earlier paragraph. Nevertheless, I was thankful for my 1st job offer! Something is definitely better than nothing at all. At least, there is something to fall back on, if the situation calls for it.

The remuneration for this job offered to me (basic salary plus commission) was rather low, and there was no staff benefits given at all, but it was a meaningful job... but it may be difficult to sustain my new flat & family in the long run. Still, it was the only job offer that I had at that point of time, so after a few days of praying & talking to my parents, I had almost decided to take up this job. My parents respected my decision, even though they still felt uncertain about my decision. Thankfully, our Almighty God watched all that was happening & intervened, just at the right time!

Second Job Offer

I was almost about to reply to confirm my acceptance of this training position, when suddenly out of the blue, the HR from a statutory board called to inform me that I have been shortlisted for an interview for this particular position that I had earlier applied!

At first, I was stunned... I seriously wasn't expecting to receive a call from a statutory board, inviting me to come down for a interview! I didn't have a bachelor degree from a local university & yet they were willing to consider me for a senior executive position? Wow! I couldn't believe that I had actually received this call! So I agreed to come for the interview the next day.

The next thing that I did (after sharing this happy news with Rebecca, my parents & her parents) was to call this HR staff whom I worked with on an event at my current company, to thank her for helping me to send my resume to her HR department. She was surprised & glad that I was called for an interview too! Needless to say, I spent the rest of the evening preparing for this sudden interview...

I spent 45 min (the morning of the interview day) rehearsing to myself the prepared answers to some of the questions that I may be asked later that afternoon. Before the interview, I had to type a short essay about a topic within 30 min. The topic wasn't too tough, as I had relevant experience in this topic, as part of my current job at SNEF. *Phew!* Honestly, my worry was more about how much time that I had to type, coz they could be a lot that I could share about. Hahahaha... =)

Amazingly, the interview actually went quite alright & I really have to thank God that I wasn't as anxious as I thought that I would be! I really do not know why or what happened, but I wasn't really nervous during the interview. Maybe it could be because I have spoke with many companies in my current job... but I felt that it could also be because of the peace that God had put inside my heart.

In fact, looking back, I still think that I had over-prepared for this interview (which is good, despite not knowing much about this statutory board. If I could rate my level of preparedness on a scale of 10, I would give myself a 7. Thankfully, it turned out that the panel of interviewers tested me to only to a level of about 3 or 4. *Phew!* =)

Basically, the main crux was that they wanted to know if I had experience in this area of work, at least for their 1st level of check & candidate elimination. I shared about the relevant areas of work that I had done in my current company & I left the interview, wondering if it was enough to convince the deputy director that I was a possibly good candidate for this job.

Right after the interview, I called that HR staff to express my thanks for her help again. I went home wondering when the HR would call me or whether they would even call me in the first place. Well, that HR lady that I spoke with, said that I will receive a reply in a week, so I tried to be patient, while going to work at my current company the next day.

While coaching a colleague at work, suddenly I received a call in the mid afternoon from that statutory board HR! As I was walking out of the office to answer the phone, my mind was racing. I was wondering (& partly fearful) about what to expect. Could it be a rejection? It has only been less than 24 hours since the interview, surely they couldn't have decided so quickly?

To my surprise, the HR had called to say that they have decided to offer me this job! I almost couldn't believe my ears! I had to re-confirm by asking if I was indeed accepted... & I was! Wow! I still couldn't believe this had happened! I have never imagined that the Civil Service would ever accept my non-local university degree! What's more, it was a senior executive position! Thank You, God! Wow! =)

I composed myself & thanked the person. Thereafter, I called Rebecca & my Mum to tell them the good news! Both of them couldn't believe this was true! And in less than 24 hours! Everyone was so happy, including my Dad, brother & Rebecca's parents, when I later SMSed them. As I walked around the toilet (before going back to the office), I was pacing up & down, as I STILL couldn't believe that this has happened. I did a little jump out of happiness too, before headed back to the office, trying to look like nothing had happened. Hahahaha... =)

Third Job Offer

The very next day, out of the blue, my mobile phone rang again & I answered the call. Oh! It was a call from another HR of another statutory board! Similarly, it was also from a helpful referral from a business contact that I had worked with in my current job! I couldn't believe my ears again! God really overwhelmed me with blessings! This has never happened before in my life! Two statutory boards calling me in a short span of 3 days to invite me down for an interview!

I couldn't believe it! In the past, I had applied to so many ministries & statutory boards (of coz, to private companies as well) & none ever replied. All except Singapore Sports Council, but I didn't get the job coz I didn't have the relevant work experience. To me, the Civil Service was like an exclusive class of people who will seldom consider an average guy like me without good local university qualifications & excellent results. It was like a great honour or priviledge to even receive an invitation for an interview! I really thank God that I managed to meet some helpful working contacts in my current job in SNEF... & not to mention the broad working experience that I have gathered in this present job.

To cut the long story short, I later called back to the HR of this 2nd statutory board, to thank her for offering me this chance for an interview... coz I had decided to take up the offer with the 1st statutory board. Plus, I had already received a call from the 1st statutory board HR, asking if I could come by to sign the employment contract.

I felt so thankful & blessed through these opportunities that God has opened up for me. Before all these had happened, I was slightly wondering if I would be unemployed for a period of time again. Thank You, God... Please help me to do well in this next job... Amen! =)

The Awesome-ness of God

2007-10-10T13:49:00.001+08:00

I was shocked when I read these words. Truly amazing! How could I not have realized this? Wow... truly an example...

In Chemistry, He turned water to wine.

In Biology, He was born without the normal conception.

In Physics, He disproved the law of gravity when He ascended into heaven.

In Economics, He disproved the law of diminishing returns by feeding 5,000 men (not including women & children) with two fishes & five loaves of bread.

In Medicine, He cured the sick & the blind without administering a single dose of drugs.

In History, He is the beginning & the end.

In Government, He said that He shall be called ‘Wonderful Counselor’ & ‘Prince of Peace’.

In Religion, He said that no one comes to the Father except through Him.

He had no servants, yet they called Him Master.

He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher.

He had no medicines, yet they called Him Healer.

He had no army, yet kings feared Him.

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world.

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him.

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

He is Jesus! The greatest Man in history!

Inspiring Quotes From Rick Warren

2007-10-10T13:37:00.000+08:00

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren, Rick said, 'People ask me, "What is the purpose of life?" And I respond, "In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity." We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one!

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, 'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD.

Definition of Pantone & Bromide

2007-10-10T13:32:00.000+08:00

I came across these 2 terms when involved in the producing of invitation card & flyer for the 'Best Sourcing Initiative' program co-organized by SNEF, SBF, NTUC, MOM & Singapore Compact. I thought of putting this into my Blog to remind myself of what these 2 terms mean...

Pantone: A standard color-matching system used by printers and graphic designers for inks, papers and other materials. A PMS colour is a standard colour defined by percentage mixtures of different primary inks.

Bromide: Created using film negatives or positives and result in high resolution, positive black and white image on permanent photographic paper. Logos and logotype are commonly converted into bromides for artwork and scanning purposes. Also known as a PMT (acronym for photomechanical transfer).

The Most & The Greatest...

2007-10-10T13:12:00.000+08:00

My Mum forwarded me this e-mail & it kind-of came in timely to how I am feeling right now. I really need some encouragement, affirmation & regaining of self-confidence. And also a fresh touch from God! Its so easy to feel miserable at times... & often, its about work issues...

The most destructive habit ..... Worry
The greatest Joy ..... Giving
The greatest loss ..... Loss of self-respect
The most satisfying work ..... Helping others
The ugliest personality trait ..... Selfishness
The most endangered species ..... Dedicated leaders
Our greatest natural resource ..... Our youth
The greatest "shot in the arm" ..... Encouragement
The greatest problem to overcome ..... Fear
The most effective sleeping pill ..... Peace of mind
The most crippling failure disease ..... Excuses
The most powerful force in life ..... Love
The most dangerous pariah ..... A gossiper
The world's most incredible computer ..... The brain
The worst thing to be without ..... Hope
The deadliest weapon ..... The tongue
The two most power filled words ..... "I Can"
The greatest asset ..... Faith
The most worthless emotion ..... Self-pity
The most beautiful attire ..... SMILE!
The most prized possession ..... Integrity
The most powerful channel of communication ..... Prayer
The most contagious spirit ..... Enthusiasm
The most important thing in life ..... Almighty GOD

Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day!

Corporate or Non Corporate?

2007-10-10T00:51:00.000+08:00

Just when I thought that my decision has been more or less set about joining that training company, I received several phone calls from Singapore Land Authority (SLA) to come for a job interview this Wednesday at 5:30pm. Of course, I am glad to have more than 1 choice, should SLA decide to offer me this job, but I am still very confused right now... at the back of my mind.

I had initially decided to join this training company because its training materials were based on Biblical values & teachings, I will get a chance to mentor students, plus the management are all Christian & they are looking for a Christian to join their company. I am actually glad to join them, except that when I took a look at the employment contract, it was quite a low basic salary with commission earned from sales. That wasn't really a huge problem coz if I managed to get good sales, plus the quarterly variable bonus, my commission would exceed what I am currently earning at SNEF (which is also low based on industry average).

But what really made me hesitate is that this small training company does not give ANY staff benefits at all, only annual leave, sick leave, compassionate leave & hospitalisation leave. Not that I am being really picky, but it would definitely be good to have some staff benefits, especially for a family man like myself, next year onwards. I mean, the company doesn't even provide subsidy for seeing GP, dental check-up, medical check-up, etc.

Oh yes, the employment contract also states that only MCs given by government doctors are recognized! That's crazy... there isn't any polyclinic near my house! And the queues are always so long & in my experience, the doctors there are like serving at a fast food chain, seeing patients by the masses... & the quality of medicine is quite lousy. Oh, another thing is that its quite inconvenient to get to the office coz its located at Ubi & there is traffic jam everyday.

Not that I am trying to paint a negative picture of this training company, but there are issues like this to look into. The lady boss is really nice, considerate & helpful... but taking this job may be difficult, especially after I get married next year. But still, its still a potential job offer, so I will not turn it down yet.

But the question is - am I more suited to work in a corporate or non-corporate environment? Jeffrey Goh also said that I am 75% 'dove' & corporate work environment may be complicated for me. But here I am, given an opportunity to go for a job interview at SLA... & compared to this training company, I am sure that the fixed salary would be much higher than what I am currently getting at SNEF, plus staff benefits, bonus & salary structure too. But if I am accepted for this job, would it become another 3rd round of politics at work? Then again, politics are everywhere... but I haven't exactly had the most stable career history...

Argh... I am so confused... what should I do? Sigh...

Daddy Doesn't Like Gifts...

2007-10-10T00:27:00.000+08:00

We celebrated my Dad's 55th birthday last Sunday at Holiday Inn Park View, together with my grandmother, aunty Katherine, Stacy (Bro's GF) & Rebecca (my GF). I took this excellent opportunity to give them an enthusiastic & informal guided tour around the hotel, showing them the Crystal Ballroom that I will be having my wedding dinner next year! Rebecca & I were glad that everyone liked the place.

Anyway, we had international buffet dinner at the 'Window By The Park' cafe, in celebration of Dad's birthday. Up till now, I still don't understand why this cafe was given this name, coz there is no park nearby & there's not much to see outside those windows anyway. But the durian paste is GREAT! I recommended & kept reminding everyone to try it! And everyone liked it! Rebecca laughed & commented if I had shares in this hotel! Oh, the sliced steamed fish is absolutely soft & delicious too! I could just eat it with rice for dinner & be all happy & satisfied!

Oh ya, back to the point that I have been trying to make - Yup, maybe I seldom buy gifts for my Dad throughout my 27 years of my life... but it only became clear to me, this time, that my Dad doesn't like to be given gifts! Its odd coz I would think that most people would enjoy having the surprise of birthday gifts... but not my Dad.

I bought him a nice polo t-shirt from Robinsons, but when I wished him & passed him his gift, he said that I should save up my money & invest in future... don't waste money on buying gifts. He also said that he already has a lot of shirts in his cupboard (actually the truth is that most are already SO old!)... so next time just write him a card would do.

I was quite taken aback coz I didn't expect my Dad to say it so straightforward. But that's my Dad... he's quite straightforward & doesn't like to spend money. He still buys superglue to glue his working shoes when it peels at the sole. He doesn't buy sandals, but only wears my old pair, when I bought a new pair of sandals a few years ago. He also wears his working socks until got hole(s) & still continues to wear them. He refuses to throw things away & keep on putting them inside the store room.

Rebecca bought him a box of chocolates, wrapped up in a Christmas wrapper (she didn't have any other gift wrapper) & my Dad didn't even open it for 3 days! I had to open it for him & eat the chocolates myself! My guess about him was confirmed when I saw that cup which my brother bought for him, MANY years ago... & it is still kept inside that same cardboard box, sitting at the top of the kitchen shelf. I can't believe it... my Dad REALLY doesn't use things!

Oh well, next time onwards, I will write him a card, since he already said it so straightforward to me. Different background, I guess... coz when he was young, he didn't have many things. But this is nothing bad about him, its just his personality. He has still been a responsible & caring father all these years. Thank God for this perculiar Dad... =)

Striving To Live By These Words...

2007-10-07T02:44:00.000+08:00

I still can't get enough of the lyrics of the chorus of this worship song titled 'Hosanna', which Carol had sent to me. Since that day when I started listening to it, the words of the chorus have always touched my heart & moved me to want to live well for Christ.

The chorus goes - "Heal my heart and make it clean... Open up my eyes to the things unseen... Show me how to love like You have loved me... Break my heart for what is Yours... Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause... As I walk from earth into eternity."

I find these words so inspiring & amazing that I wish to hold them close to my heart. This is how I want to live my life... & make it count, not just chasing after the wind... or getting caught up with the mess, confusion, strive, jealous, anger & bitterness all around.

"Dear Lord, I ask of You to heal my heart & make it clean. May You open up my eyes to the things unseen, to see Your work in my life & those of others around. By Your Word, show me how to love others, just like how You have loved me. I know that I am made different for a reason. I ask that You break my heart for what is Yours, separate what is earthly gain from what is truly what You are looking for. So that everything that I am & do, be for Your glory & Your kingdom's cause. As I walk through life on earth... into eternity with You. Amen."

What is Money?

2007-10-07T02:30:00.000+08:00

I have been very blessed. At several points of my life, God has allowed different people to speak encouraging, affirming or inspiring words to me. As I was sharing with my Mum about my personal convictions in my life (including the kind of job that I am looking for), I recalled this quote that someone once shared with me before.

This person asked, "What is money?" & he answered... "Money is our life in another form."

I find this statement so true & this quote has stuck in my mind for a long time. It's true, we are actually exchanging our time for the money that we earn from our work. Many people work their years of life away, striving for earthly gain, only to lose it in the end. Some give a lot of their earnings to the doctors too!

I believe it is time that we ask ourselves, what we are actually seeking for & turn towards the right direction that would really give us fulfillment in life.

I am so glad that I still remember to share this, whenever I have the opportunity to share it with someone (for example, that IT staff in my company). I remember seeing his eyes 'light up' when I shared this with him... & I felt both comforted & glad to be able to share this revelation with him. If I recalled correctly, I even overheard him, sharing this with someone else! Yippee! Praise God! =)

Stop Rubbing My Wounds

2007-10-06T02:04:00.000+08:00

I was woken up by a phone call by my Mum on Friday morning, asking me how come I am not at work. I asked if she had 10-15 mins to spare, before sharing briefly about what happened. My Mum agreed that it was unfair, but I have to move on. Stop looking back already... & stop repeating those words, scenes & thoughts in my mind, again & again, either to myself, to her or to other people.

My Mum's actual words were, "Stop rubbing your wounds! It won't help to make you feel better. If you have a wound & you keep rubbing it, it would only make it worse." I have been thinking about it & realised that it is very true. Thanks, Mum... You are right... =)

Thank You & Farewell...

2007-10-06T02:02:00.000+08:00

After I had sent out e-mails informing the external agencies that I had worked with, that today is my last day... it felt so heartwarming to receive so many replies from my many external contacts, wishing me "All the best"... "May all your dreams come true"... "Keep in touch"... "Here is my mobile number (for those whom I do not yet have their mobile number)"... "This is my personal e-mail"... "It's nice knowing you"... "I am shocked to hear that you are leaving"... "Where are you headed to"... "Man, I am sad that you are leaving"... "Hope our paths will cross again"...

I just lost count of how many people have replied to my "Thanks & Farewell" e-mail. Be it out of politeness, professionalism &/or sincerity... the point is that they bothered to reply to a small fry like me. That says something, isn't it? Not that I am proud... but I am happy! =) I even took the opportunity to right a few working relationships that had soured due to red tape & regulatory policies... & seeing their reply, I am overjoyed to set relationships right again! Indeed, having friendships & relationships mean more to life, than solely money & achievements.

But the most difficult e-mail to type, was to my department. Oh boy, it was tough. Initially, before all these mess had started over the past 2 weeks... I had actually planned & I had even bought vanguard sheets to cut out & write a small note for each of my department colleague, despite the good times & unhappy conflicts that we went through. But in the end, I found myself stuck at what to write in my goodbye e-mail to them.

Suddenly I was stuck... & that was a bad feeling to have... coz these colleagues have been a part of my life... for the newer colleagues like Wilson & Eunice, I had more to say to them... which I am glad & hope to continue to be friends with them. But the irony is that the bonding ought to be stronger as people work together over time, right? But it's so sad that the people that I had worked the longest with in my department, I had the least to say...

Oh well... Here's to a closing of this chapter of my life... I may be called back for 1 day for a 2nd round of audit checks, but other than that, I really have to shed off all these hurts & emotional baggage that I have been carrying with me... & start life afresh in my next job... I have learnt A LOT in this job, no doubt... but it came with a lot of worry, hurt & pain... absolutely no doubt about that too.

An Unfair Accusation

2007-10-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

How do I start... My mind has been so swirled up with so many thoughts & so many unfortunate happenings at work lately that I feel so stuck inside my head. I feel so emotionally drained, mentally exhausted & physical worn out.

Call it good timing, bad timing or God's timing... Just when I had reached the end of my long standing tolerance about colleagues & work, something bad happened that made a sudden end to my 20 months stay at SNEF. It was unexpected & indeed an unexpected way to leave this company. My last day was announced this Thursday morning... the verdict passed because of something that I didn't expect would happen to me... & to get unfairly blamed for it. This was what happened... my legendary drama in SNEF continues...

It all happened when 1 company that my ex-colleague Steven was working with, sent an e-mail to ask for the disbursement cheque which she has not received yet. I asked my colleague Eunice to check with Finance & it turned out that the cheque has already been issued to Steven before he left in August 07, but that company has not yet received it!

What happened? Did the courier person fail to deliver the cheque? Was it couriered in the first place? Or was it personally delivered? If so, how could the cheque have not been received? If it is not delivered, who is holding the cheque? Who did Steven pass it to, before he left on his last day? How come I wasn't informed of this before Steven left? Where was the cheque now? Do I need to report it as 'missing' cheque again, just like that of another company that was under Steven's care? Lots of questions were rushing through my head...

I decided to call Steven, even though he has already started teaching in a primary school. When he answered my call, I apologised for calling him, even though he had already left the company. Through our discussion, I found out that he had actually passed the cheque to Adrian before he left on his last day. So I thanked Steven & went to ask Adrian, if the cheques were with him. Lo & behold, they were! Adrian handed the envelope to me & I opened it to realize that there were 3 cheques addressed to 3 different companies slotted inside a SNEF envelope!

I had to return 1 of the cheques back to Finance because this particular cheque was declared as 'lost' earlier, as we could not find this cheque. Suddenly it was found, so I had to return it to the Finance Dept. I also replied an e-mail to John, 'cc' to Finance, explaining that the cheques were kept by Adrian. When John read that e-mail, he called me over to his desk & scolded me, saying that I had just sabo-ed Adrian! I was taken aback by his scolding coz I had to tell Finance the truth, isn't it? The cheques went missing for a few months & 1 of them were already declared as lost, so I had to explain to Finance when I suddenly found it, isn't it? I wasn't intentionally trying to 'sabo' Adrian! If not, what should I say? Who was the culprit holding onto all these cheques for such a long time? Me? Cannot be! And I wasn't the one keeping them inside my drawer!

John continued to reprimand me, saying that I should let him, as the manager, handle this issue & contain the trouble within the department... & not let another department know... giving them a reason to blame us. John also said that if I do that in another company, I will get into trouble & that colleague will hate me. I agree that it is true that it would be good to keep this 'discovery' of the cheques within our department, but Finance will still come to know of the real reason, right? If not, what are we going to tell them? That the cheques suddenly appeared out of nowhere?

John told me to try to recall this e-mail, which I did... but the e-mail title still revealed that the cheques were with Adrian. So not much difference, except that Finance didn't read the contents of my e-mail reply. I thought that this issue will soon simmer down the next day, but it didn't....

The next day (i.e. Thursday), the Head of Finance came to know about Adrian holding onto the cheques, became angry & sent a very unhappy & accusing e-mail to my manager John, 'cc' to Adrian, Eunice & me. As I was coaching Eunice that morning, I didn't reply to that e-mail. Then all of the sudden, Adrian walked over with this angry face & told me to call John to explain to him why the cheques were given to him, when he is not handling this funding scheme... & he doesn't know what to do with the cheques. After speaking his harsh words with his angry face, Adrian stormed off, Wilson turned to me & quietly said, "How would you know what Steven is thinking?" I replied, saying something like, "Precisely... I wasn't even told that there were cheques given to him (i.e. Adrian)!"

When I called John, I got scolded again about that e-mail to Finance. I replied that Finance will have to come to know of this reason, coz I had to return the cheques to them & this is really what happened! I didn't say this, but the truth is that when a cheque is declared missing, I had to fill up a form to declare that it is missing & the reason for it being missing. So won't Finance have known, either way?

But John still refused to listen & brushed me off... & what he said next hurt me MOST. After he had brushed off my explanation (which I had spoken with tact & as composed as I could sound, though angry inside), John said, "Matthew, I don't want to hear anymore. Can you just pack your bag & go home? Stop creating trouble for the department. You saw that e-mail? You saw the way that Ms Chua wrote to me? Now she is saying that our system is messed up. You are causing trouble between Finance & the department! So can you just pack up your things, go home & apply for your job. Don't stay around & cause trouble for our department. Don't you know why Mr Koh is willing to release you early? Did you ever ask yourself this question? Why is Mr Koh willing to lose money to pay you & still grant you early release? Coz the longer you stay here, the more trouble you are causing us. I know the audit is not yet over, but it is okay, you can go home & we will call you, when we need you to come back to office to settle the audit. Other than that, you are not needed here, so please stay home & apply for your job."

After that, John put down the phone... & I sat there, thinking about all those words that he had just said to me. I felt so hurt & angry. Actually, more hurt than angry. Now that I am typing this, I am also reminded that while I was allocating time to brief & coach Eunice (the new staff taking over my duties) every day, John said behind my back that I was wasting time telling stories to Eunice. Hello?! What stories? These are the background of how things started for certain aspects of this project! These are also lessons that I have learnt which I am passing on to the new staff, so that they won't have to make the same mistakes that I did! These are sharings about how to relate & work with certain departments & external agencies, coz their way of doing things are different!

You think I like to tell stories ah? I am doing all these, so that when I leave, the new staff will have the knowledge to carry on doing the work properly! Without knowing how certain projects started & became complicated along the way, how will these new staff be able to understand & handle these projects well? And John still dare to say that I am wasting time telling stories! He himself didn't even brief the new staff properly when they first joined us. On Wilson's first day, I spent 3 hours explaining so many things to him, so that he knows what's going on & how to do things. All these are time spent, which are not directly linked to KPI! But its important to the new staff! Even temp staff come in, I also spend time briefing them.

In 2 months, I have briefed & coached 5 new staff. You think very fun ah? It's tiring, you know! But I enjoyed relating to them during the process & find the meaning in sharing with them about the valuable things that they are required to know. Wilson & Eunice also know how to thank me & show appreciation for my efforts & patience. What does John know? And he still thinks that I am not needed here coz I am a nuisance that cause him trouble. Hello?! I cause him trouble for what? What do I stand to gain? After working with me for 14 months, you mean he can't tell that I am not such a person? When have I been a threat to anyone? Or him? SIGH...

All these was not over yet. Later that afternoon, John called us to his desk & scolded Adrian & I. John said, "Bonus is coming leh... & you are affecting your performance & my performance as a manager." To me, John scolded me, asking me why I am the manager & how can I not know that Steven was holding onto cheques, without giving them out to the companies. In my mind, I was screaming, "How would I know? Steven didn't tell me, how would I know? How am I to dream up whatever things involved in all that we do & ask about everything? Steven is supposed to be handing over to me, isn't it?"

John also reprimanded me for the poor handover by Steven. Hello?! Isn't that Steven's fault? If his handover is sloppy (which compared to my level of detailed handover to Eunice, can be considered so), whose fault is it? Mine? Just because I am the only staff left handling this funding scheme, so I get to take the blame? Hello?! Of course, I didn't say any of my thoughts, but they were all railing inside my brain! Since Steven left, I have been the main target for all sorts of things concerning this funding scheme. Even mistakes that Steven made in his paperwork, I had to answer for it. Hello?! All these companies that were being questioned are Steven's companies! Not mine! I didn't handle them, nor even type a single word in their proposal & letter of offer! You can point out the mistake, I can too... but its not my mistake!

I told John that I will find out from Steven, what exactly happened that day, which was his last day. Through a series of SMS correspondences, I discovered & re-confirmed that Steven did pass the cheques to Adrian & told him to pass the cheques to me to settle. So it was Adrian who had forgotten to pass those cheques to me! Whose fault was it then? Me? As a manager who was kept in the dark? Or the manager who is expected to have 6th sense or telepathy? Of course, Adrian won't know what to do with these cheques, coz Steven didn't tell him what to do with those cheques! But what Steven told Adrian was simple & absolutely straightforward - please pass to Matthew to settle. What's so difficult? Just pass to me lah!

If Adrian had forgotten & all these sparked up, how can he or John blame me? And if these are cheques which are addressed to companies, why on earth should Adrian be keeping them hidden inside his drawer for so long? And after Steven passed him the cheques, Adrian even went for 3 weeks of reservist & told nobody about those cheques! And even when Adrian came back from reservist, he still didn't tell me or anyone about those cheques! Trouble had to brew & I even had to call Steven to ask who did he pass those cheques to! That goes to show that obviously, neither Steven or Adrian had told me anything about any cheque! How can you just anyhow assume that I must be in the know of everything? Even things that was never communicated to me? Fine... What a way to leave on my last day, which was that same Thursday when all these happened...

Freedom of Association (3/3)

2007-10-04T00:20:00.001+08:00

The third thing that has really made my upset since this early Monday morning - is about being misunderstood & wrongly accused by my colleague at work. Perhaps something may have triggered her anger & accusation towards me, but I still don't get why I should be dragged into this situation & have a finger or fingers pointed at me.

This incident was linked to the recent resignation of Carol, a temp staff in my department. Carol has officially held the record as the 1st temp staff who lasted less than 1 month in this company! But for whatever that had happened, I still silently admire her for her guts in pursuing what she really wants to do as her interest & her job. But of coz, there are more peaceful & better ways to resign... but oh well... I am sure it was a good learning experience for her...

By the 3rd week into the job, Carol felt that this job is bringing her nowhere, she couldn't stand the politics (actually I am quite sick of it myself after 19 months) & she disliked coming to work everyday, wondering what she will be doing &/or waiting for more mundane tasks to be passed to her to do. I must be honest, it pricks my heart too... when I hear my colleagues passing her work to do... work that they themselves do not want to do... if I were her, I would also feel that I am doing a 'shitty' job. Plus, she has to eat all by herself for 3 weeks, which is also quite lonely.

At the end of last week, Carol decided to call her staffing agency to tell them that she has decided to quit. When she asked if she needs to give advance notice, apparently (according to her), the staffing agency said it wasn't necessary coz she will already have paid the penalty of 2 weeks pay. So Carol drafted her resignation letter (with a little help from me & the internet, to give it a more professional look) & intended to pass it to my other colleague on Monday morning.

I was aware that she intends to resign from this temp job, but I didn't know that she will be resigning on the same day that she will be handing her resignation letter. It was quite a tense Monday morning for her, as she was contemplating when was the right time to hand it to my colleague. When I learnt that she wasn't giving any notice period, I was hesitant & cautioned her, but of coz it is ultimately between her & my other colleague. I didn't want to interfere too much, coz Carol was reporing to her.

It so happened that that colleague was busy that Monday morning & Carol was hesitant about 'dropping this bomb shell' on her. I would be just as anxious, if I were her. But I would give 1 week notice or something, to avoid getting into a fix, despite whatever the staffing agency said. Anyway, I was in a discussion with another colleague, when Carol messaged me, saying that the staffing agency called that colleague & she flew into a rage upon hearing this news! I mean, it was unfortunate that the staffing agency called, before Carol had the chance to talk to that colleague, but what to do... sometimes in life, such things happen.

Carol tried to explain that she had intended to tell that colleague, but she didn't want to interrupt & spoil that colleague's mood, while she was so busy & shock her with this bad news. I mean, it was considerate on Carol's part, but apparently that colleague got angry, brought Carol aside & scolded her, saying that its work, so its okay to interrupt her even though she is busy. Ok, so this clash occurred becoz of differing view of the situation.

I understand that Carol wanted to tell her personally, instead of just through an e-mail or SMS, which is more impersonal. I appreciated that thought of hers, though unappreciated by that colleague. Oh well, different people lah... if I were her direct supervisor, it would be a very different thing... maybe I am more composed than that colleague... or maybe I am more considerate towards others. In any case, its just a matter of differing opinions / views about how to handle this matter. Although some notice period would definitely be good...

The next time happened which shocked me - that colleague just barged into the meeting room where I was having a discussion with another colleague... & shouted, demanding to know why I knew about Carol getting a perm job & wanting to leave, yet didn't tell her. I said that I knew becoz Carol shared with me, as a friend, but I didn't know when Carol would actually be leaving & that she wasn't giving any notice period. That colleague shouted, "All of you knew about this, but none of you has the courtesy to tell me!" & stormed out of the meeting room. Both my colleague & I were stunned. I was affected & couldn't carry on briefing my other colleague coz I was very shakened at her strong words.

Why do I need to tell her? In the first place, I didn't even know when Carol is leaving! And Carol shared this with me as a friend, so why am I obligated to tell her what my friend confided in me? Like that, I had better not make any friends at work! Becoz if I make friends, then I will be expected to tell others what my friend(s) shared with me! This is ridiculous! Carol was very unhappy about this incident too. I am sure she meant well, though this matter could have been handled better.

Later that afternoon, that colleague brought me aside & scolded me again, saying something like, "I don't know what you have been telling Carol, but she doesn't respect me as her direct supervisor. You are leaving & she is reporting to me. And I don't know what bad things you have been saying about me to her, but please stop that." I was stunned. What bad things have I been bad-mouthing about her? Did I? No, I didn't! Where did she hear that from? And all the while, Carol was reporting to her, not me... plus, I specifically told Carol that she needs to tell that colleague coz I am leaving & I shouldn't be making this decision, even though I am the assistant manager. It was just unfortunate that the staffing agency called before Carol could tell that colleague...

So that colleague has been angry with me ever since & apparently, we have been avoiding each other's eye contact. Not that I wanted to, but what should I say to myself? That it is unfortunate that the temp staff & I became friends & she confided in me? No! Carol was a good friend to me, telling me jokes to cheer me up when I am feeling down, cutting Garfield cartoon for me & putting it on my desk when I was away on MC, letting me watch this DVD about this man born without arms & legs, send me inspiring worship songs, sharing with me about this Christian book titled 'Fourth Dimension', etc. Carol has been a good friend, what's wrong or bad about it? It's also my priviledge to have made this friend & I thank God for her... & I am sure if she is willing to be molded, God can use her mightily.

Oh well, this is how I stumbled upon my more recent lesson called 'Association'. People can be subjective by nature. If I am associated with someone who is regarded as doing bad things, then somehow or rather, I may get implicated if something bad happens. But should that stop me from making friends? No! I can't stop others from misunderstanding or accusing me... neither can I please everyone... & neither can I change everyone... so what should I do? Well, do what is true to my heart... continue to be sincere... try to be more forgiving... tolerant... & carry on with life... Whatever it is, I am still glad to have made friends with Carol... even if I could turn back time, I would still have done what I did...

From a Temp Staff's Point of View (2/3)

2007-10-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

The second thing that made me feel sad (partly lonely too) was that Carol, a temp staff who joined my department recently, has decided to resign abruptly due to the politics that are going on in my company, as well as the mundane tasks that she has been assigned, of which she finds it meaningless, boring & a waste of her talent.

Well, I kind of agree, in a way, coz the temp staff that are hired for my department, always end up doing all sorts of work that the executives do not want or like to do... for example, cold calling to 200 companies, etc. Of coz, full-time project executives ought to focus their time on more higher level work, but how can we blame our temp staff who get bored, when we are giving them such mundane tasks to do? Even though a temp staff, I am sure some would like to be able to learn something from their short work experience here, apart from earning their hourly-rated salary. Nowadays, youngsters are different... they need to find their self-worth & interest in what they do... not just do things blindly... or feel treated like some cheap labour.

I worked 7 months as a temp staff in a Telco company during my early after-graduation days & I must say that I am very grateful for a very, very understanding direct supervisor & several opportunities for job rotation to learn different things... not just sit at the desk the whole day, doing photocopying, filing, calling, etc. In fact, even as a temp staff, I have to say that I was granted the opportunity for a subsequent perm job in the same company becoz of what I had learnt during my work experience as a temp staff... plus a recommendation by my supervisor.

So you see... temp staff are humans too... & they strive to find self-worth, value & meaning in what they are doing. Like everyone else, they also don't wish to wake up every morning, feeling all grudging about why they are dragging themselves to a workplace where they earn peanuts, yet do boring tasks like shredding paper, faxing, photocopying, etc. I am sure that there can be more than that, isn't it? Temp staff would want to feel appreciated as one of us too! Not let them eat lunch by themselves everyday, for as long as they are working in the company!

In the case of Carol, she has been praying & fasting... asking God to provide her with a better job that she can puts her talents & skills into doing. And God provided for her a permanent job that pays much better, familiar work environment & colleagues, as well as being able to work in an area which complements what she is currently serving in! It was like a Godsend! I was so happy for her! And this naughty girl pretended to be upset & 'lied' to me that her 2nd interview didn't go well... when actually she got the job! Hahahaha... Thank God! *Phew!*

I mean, how many people actually get a chance to do what they enjoy &/or find meaning in doing? I wish for that too! Especially during this little 'crisis' that I am going through... all the more I find myself able to emphatise with her. And I encouraged her to pursue her interests coz that is what would make her happy & find purpose in going to work.

All these was shared between Carol & I, as friends... not colleagues... coz she doesn't report to me, but my other colleague. Thus, I have to emphasize again... we confided with each other as friends... not colleagues... there is a difference! Why do I say that? Well, refer to my 3rd & final 3-part series of this sharing in my Blog...

My First Audit Experience (1/3)

2007-10-03T23:12:00.000+08:00

It's been a depressing week for me (yup, even though its only Wednesday). I have been trying to psycho myself to stay happy, but my attempts have not been very successful. Of course, what happened isn't extreme or disastrous, but it has made me brood a lot lately.

I will share about my first external audit experience in this Blog entry & share about the rest of my unhappiness in the next Blog entry.

Firstly, I am supposed to be granted early release from my current job since last Wed... but 1 week after my supposedly early release date, I am still stuck in this office. And it seems that I will continue to be stuck here for another week or so, until the official date where I start clearing my block leave. Why? Coz of the sickening external audit that is taking so long to get through. So complex to audit funding schemes! I would never want to get involved in audit for funding schemes again. There are all sorts of scenarios that are beyond my human ability to control or resolve & often enough, there are various circumstances that would occur to hinder smooth completion of such external audit.

This is my first occurence of handling an external audit all by myself, with nobody to help or advice me. But then again, what's new... ever since I joined this department, especially since I am 1 of the early pioneers, I have always been thrown into the 'deep sea' & struggle by myself. Occasionally when I coach my relatively new colleagues who recently joined the team for just 1-2 months, I will reflect back on the time when my ex-colleague Steven & I were struggling on our own, wondering about this, worrying about that, figuring out this, calling to find out that, etc. There was nobody to guide us, but ourselves to learn from our own mistakes. But we did learn a lot, I must say... Thank God for that, though it was a hell of a time in our time in this company.

Being my first experience with an external auditor (from a very small audit firm), I discovered that auditors tend to be very rigid in their ways of looking & analzying things. And I hope it isn't too subjective to feel this way, but perhaps this sort of job really makes the person think very objectively, factually & don't really put much emotion or fun people-relations into the job. Like that means like that. So difficult to convince otherwise. Straight-forward & no jokes, just work.

Its so different from how I have adapted to my current job, coz in this job, I have learnt to be flexible & consider several approaches to get things done, as well as 1 important thing, which is to learn to take things in my stride & be courageous to laugh at myself & learn from mistakes. Many precious lessons that I have learnt here. I should jot them down & remember them.

Anyway, I really hope that this audit would just end coz its like carrying this huge & heavy anchor on my shoulders, weighing me down. Nobody to share my struggles coz none of the other team members are involved... & I am left all alone to handle this. Since my ex-colleague Steven left, I have been the main target for almost everything concerning this funding scheme. I find it so difficult to bear something, even though I do not always show it on my face (I hope).

Honestly, there has been a few instances that I just feel like walking over to tell my Manager or ED that I wish to leave right this moment... they can stop paying my salary as of today... coz I am just so tired of all this going on in this job... my lifestyle & health have taken its toil during my time here... I have aged (yeah, can you believe that for the first time in my life, there are actually people who think that I look older than my age)... worse still, I have grown sceptical (what's new in this type of work, I am just not cut out for it).

I really need to move on... I really need time to get away & just FORGET what the heck has happened during the past 19 months! To shed off as much emotional baggage that I have been carrying month after month... find my direction in life... refresh myself for my next job... & start afresh... to hell with all this mess, worries & politics that are going on here...

Not that I dislike my colleagues, although there has been quite a number of unhappy incidents (maybe there are more that I don't know about), but I just can't put myself to doing this job any longer. My energy & motivation have been spent. I feel aimless now... even though I sleep 7 hrs every night, I still wake up feeling mentally tired... & emotionally drained... I don't even feel like doing anything during the weekends too... I just want to run away & hide... & be alone for awhile.

But then, when I think of myself as running away from my problems, I hold back... coz I want to be strong... mature... & leave this place with my head high... heck whatever bad things that others may want to think, imagine or talk behind my back. I don't wish to be a coward, a tortoise or snail... so I cry out to God almost everyday... sometimes from the agony within my heart... though my face shows nothing (I hope).

I ask God to help me to get through this time... whatever remaining days that I have left in this company... however draggy it may be... however unappreciated I may feel... however misunderstood I may agonize from... & when I look back 1 year from the day that I leave... I will find myself a different person... a better person... "Strength comes for the task"... says King Saul, the hare... from the inspiring book titled 'A Wolf's Story'... by James Bryon Huggins... its the most moving & encouraging book that I have ever read during my JC days...

Wilson Ng - The Coolest Uncle Around!

2007-09-30T01:35:00.000+08:00

Wilson joined my projects department about 1-2 months ago (we used to work with him as a sales manager at an vendor agency) & I must say that I really had much fun having him around. He is quite a chatty person (not everyone has enough patience to listen to him talk on & on) and tells jokes once in awhile. Thinking about it, he is the coolest uncle that I have ever met in my life! I mean, for a 46 year old man... he is happening!

In the beginning, I used to call him 'Mr Miyagi' coz he looks a bit like the late 'Pat Morita' who acted in the movie trilogy - The Karate Kid. =)

At times, I think that he is like a Mr Know-All... coz he always seems to have something to say about anything & everything. Perhaps more than 20 years as a sales person made him able to communicate with literally all sorts of people. That's a good thing & I'm glad for him.

What more can you say of a 46 year old man who sings old Chinese karaoke songs, goes for 2 hours of Thai massage in Bangkok, dress so hip when not going to work, looking so obsessed playing 'Prince of Persia' with his PSP, fooling around with Elmo & Cookie Monster puppets, shaking his backside to Chicken Little's 'Dragostea Din Tei' tune... & still dare to mock me that he thinks he can shake his backside better than me!

Uncle Wilson also watching all sorts of movies (he has a huge collection of them) from action to horror (the right word should be gore) to animation to shows about the intellectually disabled. Oh, he even worked as an instructor at APSN - Centre For Adults (CFA) for 2 years... talk about how varied a person's career can be! He also says that he is a survivor... everything also can do. Plus he is able to speak fluent English & Mandarin (Local & Mainland), a few dialects, & even a bit of Thai & Japanese! He also has this ability to mimick the native ascent of various languages! Wow!

Oh yes, he is a techno-geek! He buys all sorts of latest technology, computers... & he even bought a server with massive storage capacity for his loads of music, movies, games, etc! And the best part - he has PS2, PS3, Xbox, Xbox Live, Nintendo Wii, PSP, desktop computer & all sorts of gadgets for playing interactive Wii games! He gets carried away every night, playing his Wii, from sword games to all sorts... so cool... this uncle... I'm going to miss him when I leave my company soon... but its ok, we can keep in touch... Singapore is a small place... =)

Inspiring Words From Rocky Balboa

2007-09-29T01:54:00.000+08:00

Robert (Rocky's son) was discouraged & affected when his father (Rocky) wanted to re-enter the boxing ring for one final exhibition bout, to do something that he really wants in his life & proving to the world & most importantly to himself, that age does not mean that one should just sit back & let life years pass you by.

This is an excerpt of inspiring words spoken by Sylvester Stallone in his movie 'Rocky Balboa' -

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that! I'm always going to love you no matter what. You are my son, you are my blood. You are the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life."

These are inspiring words that I hold strongly in my heart. I used similar words to encourage a fellow colleague before... & I hope to use these words to encourage & inspire myself, as well as my children next time...

Bummed Into Jeffrey Goh At Career Fair 2007

2007-09-29T01:31:00.000+08:00

Rebecca & I visited the Career Fair 2007 that was held at Suntec Convention Hall in early September. It was there that we had the opportunity to listen to this 2 hour sharing by Jeffrey Goh about 'Live & Work With Purpose'. We didn't register for this talk, but God had His plans for us... & we were allowed in! Its just so amazing how a 60 year old man can share for 120 mins with just 4 slides! And each slide had merely 4-5 pointers per slide!

How was this possible? Well, Jeffrey Goh has lived many years, done & served in many areas & therefore has LOTS of stories to tell! He worked for many years as a school teacher (back in the early days of the 1960s), became 'best recruit' in his NS days, spent 12 years in MINDEF as a Head of Public Relations (btw, he is holding the rank of Major in the SAF) & thereafter, teaching as a lecturer at SIM for about 7-8 years (oh yes, he is my SIM lecturer!) & now working as a trainer/facilitator/consultant to NIE teachers, polytechnics students, etc after his retirement (while living off his pension from Government).

In addition, he is also an Elder in his church, serves in the Prisons ministry & ALPHA ministry for outreach to new believers & has also been granted a license to wed Christian couples! With this vast extent of life experiences, it is no wonder that he is MORE than credible to be & do what he is doing now. And I'm sure that there are other things that he does, which I'm not aware of. I still recall him saying that just by telling people his age & them seeing his wrinkles is enough for them to sit up & listen to him. Wow... 'solid' lah, this person... How I wish I could be like him... but everyone's path is different & I have to carve out a path for my own...

So much for that background about Jeffrey Goh. He is definitely one person that Rebecca & I look up to. But honestly, God planned that we meet with him at the Career Fair (I didn't expect to be granted entry into this talk, despite not having registered) & thereafter, a series of events slowly unfolded. It wasn't about this philosophical presentation title, but rather the testimonies & stories that he told that made an impression in my mind & heart.

I wanted to impact lives with the gifts that God has given me too! Its just encouraging to see this 60 year old man, past retirement (back then, retirement was at 45 years of age) for 15 years, but still so active in church, teaching & impacting lives. Just seeing him stand there & share, is enough inspiration to believe that this too is possible for anyone who wishes to make a difference in people's lives.

Jeffrey Goh loves teaching & through this, he is able to impact lives... & he loves every opportunity to teach & use this gift. I recalled that he said that he feels so joyful, just standing here to share about many things. Even if just 1 person walks off after this session, feeling inspired... he has succeeded in his efforts to make an impact in at least 1 person's life.

I also remembered that he shared that even nowadays, there are some aunties that have a sense of purpose in what they do too. He shared about aunties in their 50s & 60s who took up swimming just to be able to bring their grandchildren to the swimming pool! When an aunty was asked what made her take this bold step to learn to swim, that aunty answered - 'purpose'.

I was taken aback... even aunties can find purpose in what they set themselves to do... why can't I? Why shouldn't I? I wanted to... & I knew that I could... & that was what led me to ask Jeffrey Goh for his name card, so that we could arrange to meet up to talk more...

Remembering To Be Thankful...

2007-09-29T01:26:00.000+08:00

Before you complain about your husband or wife - Think of someone who's crying out to God for a companion.

Today before you complain about life - Think of someone who went too early to heaven.

Before you complain about your children - Think of someone who desires children but they're barren.

Before you argue about your dirty house someone didn't clean or sweep - Think of the people who are living in the streets.

Before whining about the distance you drive - Think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet.

Enjoy everything about your life and be thankful every moment, for life is more than just a gift. It's a gift that you should never take for granted.

Hosanna in the Highest!

2007-09-28T00:48:00.001+08:00

My new found friend (Carol) sent me this worship song titled 'Hosanna'. At first, I thought it had quite an odd tune, but later as I listened on... its quite nice. Maybe its the electric guitar that made it sound odd in the beginning, but the lyrics are really meaningful... it made me realise how simple yet wonderful to praise & just say 'Hosanna' to our Heavenly Father...

Hosanna - By Hillsongs United

Verse 1
I see the king of glory
Coming down the clouds with fire
The whole earth shakes, the whole earth shakes
I see his love and mercy
Washing over all our sin
The people sing, the people sing

Chorus
Hosanna, hosanna
Hosanna in the highest

Verse 2
I see a generation
Rising up to take the place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith
I see a new revival
Staring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees, we're on our knees

Bridge
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what is yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

A Perculiar Friend at SNEF

2007-09-28T00:00:00.000+08:00

I had a temp staff who joined my projects department a few weeks ago & thanks be to God, we manage to strike up a conversation & become friends. I can't remember who made the first move, be nevertheless, what's most important is to be able to make friends & touch lives with the life that God has given me.

Carol is (in my opinion) quite perculiar to me. I still recall that on the first day, I was tasked to brief her on the Open Door Fund which I am in charge of. Throughout my briefing, thoughts were running through my head & I was wondering if this girl was understanding or even taking in what I'm explaining to her about... coz she had this rather blank & disinterested expression on her face. In my averagely short life of 27 years, I had learnt that looks can be deceiving... so I didn't wish to concern myself too much, but she really did give me the impression that she wasn't at all interested in what in the world I was talking about this funding scheme.

Honestly, I can't remember how exactly we started talking... was it because of a work discussion or a casual chat... but over a short time, I learnt that she is a Christian & worships at City Harvest Church (I think its at Expo, if my memory isn't failing me again). Oh yes, she called me 'STM' one day... which stands for 'Short Term Memory'. Nope, I was not offended coz I really did adopt this syndrome ever since I took up this job last year... & of coz, as time goes by in this job, my memory span became shorter. I seriously dunno why, but I guess that I felt better, knowing that I see this syndrome happening among some of my fellow dept colleagues too.

But what is it that is perculiar about her? Well, I guess what stood out the most is that she has a fancy for cars, especially this particular type of car called 'SBR'. Again, I can't remember what type of car it is, but it sounds like a racing type of car. Oh well... job hazard... or maybe I have compartmentalized memory, certain 'drawers' just seemed stuck at times. Well, yeah... although I don't know many friends, but I haven't met any girl who likes racing cars.

She is still pretty balanced out... still a typical girl who likes handsome celebrities like Jay Chou. Ahem, nothing bad about him, I have my personal favourite celebrities too... just that our background is different, so my favourite stars are also different. I'm not so much into singers, but rather movie stars... & my all-time favourite is Sylvester Stallone (much to the un-popularity of most of my peers). This celebrity has come a long while & I admire him for his courage, grit, determination & belief in what he sets himself to do. Wanna find out more? Read his biography online or in my Blog! Its somewhere... last year's entry or something... Hahaha!

Carol is a nice girl & I'm glad to have met this friend. Not many close friends that I have in SNEF & relationships can be sensitive in this company. But I have a few friends... & almost all are girls! I wonder why... coz I'm a new age sensitive guy? Or maybe girls are more relationship-oriented & they try to emphatize more. I can tell from my occasional casual chats with her, that she is also like me, seeking to find meaning & purpose in what we set ourselves to do in our lives. That's a great thing coz there are too many people who chase after things & have pierced themselves with many grieves. I enjoy relating with people who seek to make a difference in the world that we live in. And I am sure that with a willing heart, God can also use this sister in Christ! So excited for her... =)

Oh ya, she picked up this Batman toy (from somewhere, hopefully not ripped from a little toddler's hands, joking!) & we had some moments of nonsense fiddling with this Batman figurine. Poor Batman, I have turned him into a gymnast! Check out the pictures below... =P

Carol will be looking for a new job soon... & although I am sad to see her leave (actually I'm leaving too), I'm glad that she has found another job which pays better, permanent & something that she finds more meaning in doing. That's the most important thing for any individual. It's odd for an Assistant Manager to say this, coz I ought to be trying to pacify her into staying coz its difficult to get temp staff to work for 3-4 months... but I guess I'm not exactly the typical type of manager that works & thrives in the corporate business world. I think she can see that too.

Anyway, I wish her all the best & hope that our paths will cross again... afterall, Singapore is a small country... or should I say, island. Its not about the lame jokes or the Garfield comics that she cuts out for me (though it really is very nice of her to cheer me up during my stressful work day), but rather this girl relates from her heart & I find her a nice person to relate with. She helped me with some of my work when I was away on MC too! Hope I have been a friend to her during this short time as her colleague... =)

Inspiring Sportsmanship

2007-09-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

Many months ago, Rebecca & I stumbled upon this VCD series of this Taiwanese drama serial titled 'My Way'. I remembered that I was hesitant about buying it & kept asking her, whether its a good choice to buy it. In the end, I did... & I didn't regret buying & watching it.

It is about a talented 100m sprinter who went through a series of trials - from being accused of taking steriods to win, facing the death of his father, severly injured his leg while saving an old woman who was almost knocked down by a car, regaining his confidence to compete again & being caught in the middle of a triangle relationship.

It is also about another talented 100m sprinter who never discovered that he had a natural talent in sprinting, until chanced upon by a athletics coach. He faced his own share of trials too - from being at loggerheads with his father all his life, always disagreeing with his father about where his interest lie, coping with his father's high expectations of him, suddenly thrown the responsibility of running his father's company when his father was ill for some time & of coz, being caught in a triangle relationship (typical of drama serials).

But that is not all, there are other characters whose lives are portrayed in this show, such as the burning passion of the athletics coach despite being striken with cancer, loyalty of a director when his company is about to go bankrupt & he is faced with tempting offers to leave his current long-standing career for a better paid job elsewhere, etc. I really enjoy & find inspiration in sportsmanship through watching this VCD.

The following are a few photos that I have taken from this show:

Truly a 20 Months Eye-Opener at SNEF

2007-09-18T22:42:00.000+08:00

From the sheltered upbringing that I grew up in, I could not have asked for anymore than what I have learnt & experienced in my 20 months in SNEF. Well, I was given the opportunity to leave earlier & clear my remaining annual leave, so more accurately, it should be 19+ months. Okay lah, almost 20 months working in Singapore National Employers Federation (SNEF).

It has truly been eventful... in fact, I find it just TOO eventful for me. So much & all sorts of things have happened in such a short time & in such a small organization of less than 40 staff. Truly amazing. Thinking about it, I don't know whether to laugh, smile or feel sad about it. Oh well, its time for me to move on.

In fact, honestly... I was asked to move on. Why? Well, I have not been able to achieving consistently good KPI in the placements of Persons With Disabilities (PWDs) into companies. I know that I should not always think of the difficulties in doing this job, but I am a ground-level person & I have been on the ground, so I have a fairly clear idea of the unstructuredness & challenges that are going on... between ministries, between Voluntary Welfare Organizations (VWOs), between companies & SNEF, between VWOs & SNEF, between MCYS & SNEF, between PWDs & companies, PWDs' parents & companies, between companies' top management & ground-level staff, etc. Just listing out these relationships alone, makes me realise even clearer, how many aspects are involved in doing job placement for PWDs in Singapore.

I did the older workers project for more than 1 year too (concurrently with the disability project) & I still find that its easier to place more older workers in 1 project, compared to the totally small number of PWDs that can be placed in each project. Of coz, this is not to say that older workers are easy to find, easy to hire & easy to be retained in their job. The same goes to PWDs, just that it has a greater added difficulty becoz these are 'special' individuals.

I had to stop doing the older workers project & concentrate on the disability project, but with the recent Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) signed between MCYS & SNEF, there was another BIG initiative that just took up a lot of time. Plus when my co-partner in the disability project left (i.e. Steven Lingam), I had to carry the burden on my own, which has not been easy for me, especially knowing the KPI set by MCYS is so high. In addition, I had to train 5 new staff that recently joined the Projects Department - 1 project consultant, 3 executives & 1 temp staff. Just coaching them alone already takes up SO MUCH of my time... & I still had to go for 1 or 2 initial meetings with them, when we visit companies to share & discuss about the funding schemes.

On the other hand, I was told that the dept colleagues doing the older workers project were unhappy with me becoz they were asked to stop work on the older workers company projects & help out in the disability project. This hinders them from moving onto doing another project which will boost their career portfolio & enable them to get the promised promotion & salary increment after successfully fulfilling the KPI for the older workers project.

I felt deserted, with fingers pointing at me. With Steven gone, its just me... & I am the person who is most familiar with what's going on & people will look at me, when things are not going smoothly. I still remember how awkward it was, when my manager John Tan asked the rest of the department, whether they would prefer to drop this disability project & let me run it, until it fails... or take it up & for that, they will have to postpone their career & portfolio progression by 1 year. Everyone was quiet & the awkward silence was just killing me inside. But what could I do, I have been given this portfolio of handling the disability project. It was only a 2-man team doing tons & all sorts of work. 8 hours a day, even when I was working 9-10 hours a day, the work still continues to pile up.

In fact, just doing the reporting & admin paperwork for the disability project is difficult for me to cope. The only way is to work OT every day, which I already do often enough. My department is famous for being the last to lock-up & go home, on a daily basis. But I guess I didn't work as hard as some who work from 8am - 8pm or others who continue to work from home, jumping up from their bed to answer phone calls at 11:45pm, then working till 2 - 3am in the night.

To me, this way of working is absolutely unhealthy & drains a person out quickly, or soon enough. Being committed to work is good, but being on alert 24/7 is not exactly what's good. Some say that sacrifice is something that we need to give to achieve something. Then I will ask myself what is worth a greater sacrifice than health? By this, I mean mental & emotional health as well, not just physical health.

I almost got into a nervous breakdown in August, after being chased to produce results, day in & day out. I was SO stressed until my memory started to fail me even more than before. I remembered that there was this time when a new colleague asked me where is the fax machine & I just stared into blank space for about 20 seconds, searching my memory... wondering where exactly is the fax machine. That is terrible! And I have bad dreams about work at times too...

Almost every day when I come home from work, I would be so drained out that I totally KO on the bus home. I remember that in the beginning last year, I was so tired that I would only wake up when the bus 36 reaches Changi Airport Terminal 2! Then I would sighed & have to take the bus back, which would make me reach home at least 30 min later than if I had alighted at the correct bus stop. Even if I took the MRT, there are times when I would still KO on the short 20 min bus ride home.

And since I took this job, I hardly had the time, energy & enthusiasm to exercise, even if its just a 30-40 min run at East Coast beach. I know that exercise is a discipline, but its so difficult! And apart from fatigue, I still have to struggle & cope with unhappiness at work. Believe me, all kinds of things can happen at work. From e-mails flying around with angry messages, petty issues like not topping up the water cooler, to why we don't go for lunch with other departments, who is the one who share confidential information with external parties, 2 out of the 3 old & cranky lifts spoiling for weeks, gossip about a person who looks at women's breasts when meeting with a company, 'crocodile tears' e-mails, etc. All sorts of things! So amazing... the politics inside & outside of this company... I don't know whether to call this culture 'vibrant' or not...

But all this being said (though its just the tip of the ice-berg), I am thankful that I have spent 20 'fascinating' months with SNEF. I have learnt, seen, heard & sensed so much, both at work & outside work. Truly made me an all-rounded individual, with some experience in doing all sorts of things. Of coz, there are still many more things that I have not done before, but considering where I came from (in my last job), this place is truly an eye-opener. So happening!

Miraculous Help At My Job Interview!

2007-09-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

Despite still being ill on Monday, I went to work. After rushing through the morning, I had to rush to a job interview at Ubi Techlink. That's near where Uncle Robert & Evelyn (Rebecca's sister) are working!

I reached the place in a flustered state coz my heart was pounding hard from the mad rush of work in the morning, plus I had to take a taxi to Ubi becoz I had overshot the time to leave office. I was rushing this last minute funding disbursement form for HSBC.

Jessie Lim (the lady who called to arrange the interview) saw me at the door & directed me to come in, as I walked past the office because the name of the company (stated at the top of the wall) isn't the same as the company that I was going for this interview.

Walking into the office, I met with this rather young-looking interviewer by a unique name of 'Elmer'. He looks a bit like my ex-colleague from SNEF, John Quek who was working on the work-life balance 'WOW! Fund'. For a moment, my heart tickled inside, as his name sounded close to the name of 'Elmo' - a red coloured 'dunno-what-kind-of-animal' from Sesame Street (what kind of name is that, given to a kids' show anyway?)

Elmer asked me the typical questions that interviewers normally ask, followed by sharing with me a bit about what this company is about, what it does & what kind of staff they are looking for. It kind-of 'shocked' me when he openly said that the people working in this organization are all Christians & they are also hoping to hire a Christian. Elmer also said that since this is a Christian organization, they don't believe in politics & anything such as wanting to climb the career ladder. That being said, it pleased my heart coz I'm not such a person myself & neither was I interested in climbing the corporate ladder.

This training consultancy company plans & carry out leadership & character development programs for schools both at primary & secondary level. That sounds meaningful & I thought that it was probably what I was looking for in a career, though I am not yet certain how the pay structure would be like. It was later partially revealed that there is a basic pay & the rest was on commission-basis. Either way, they also offer part-time opportunity, so I could still keep this option open, for either a full-time or part-time job.

Elmer tested me on a few scenarios like what I would do, if students get roudy & do not wish to listen to what was being shared with them, etc. He also gave me a surprise presentation on a teamwork program shown in his plastic file. All thanks to my experience in making adhoc presentations in my job at SNEF, I was able to do it reasonably well. Honestly, Elmer gave me a few minutes to read through & prepare to present it to him, but I was ready to present in just 1 min because I am used to doing such things in my job.

Overall, I would say that the interview went well... really thank God for that. And surprisingly, I didn't struggle with the persistent cough throughout the 40 min interview! It was astonishing! It was odd! Right after I walked out of the building, breathing normally again after rushing down in a flustered state for the interview, suddenly the coughing came back! It was like it was on a 'game-pause' mode during my entire interview at this training consultancy company! Its just so amazing how God works! Thank you, God! Please lead me to the right job!

First Time Not Celebrating My Birthday...

2007-09-18T20:27:00.000+08:00

This is the first time in 27 years that I actually cancelled my birthday dinner with my family & also my birthday outing with my Fiance Rebecca. I am supposed to be on annual leave today but I had to see a doctor for the second time immediately when I woke up this morning.

The first time I saw the doctor was on Saturday after my part-time course at SHRi. While on the way to my grandmother's house to have a simple dinner to celebrate my birthday with my parents, I suddenly felt feverish... & it gradually led to body ache & phlegm. I started shivering on the bus home, so I decided to go to the Siglap Medical Clinic to see the doctor.

I waited for 50 min before I managed to see the doctor! When I asked the clinic staff (an aunty probably in her 50s), how many patients before me... this aunty said 5... but in the end, I waited & waited... there was actually 11 patients before me! I was so annoyed with her. Can she count or not? The patients' names were all written down on the piece of paper in front of her! How could she not know? I know that she's an older worker, but 5 and 11 is quite a big difference! Especially for a sick person waiting in the midst of many other sick people inside the clinic.

Anyway, the doctor said that its a viral infection so antibiotics won't help, so gave me medicine & told me to rest. I still remember that the doctor shook his head when he saw my throat. He said that my lymph nodes are swollen after feeling the sides of my neck. And this bad infection cost me $37! So I rested for the rest of Saturday & the entire Sunday. Yup, I missed church... but Amos (Rebecca's brother) was so nice to SMS to me that he is praying for me! Really warmed my heart! I can't believe that I slept 14 hours on Sunday! But in 14 hours, I woke up 5 times... so you can guess how disturbed was my sleep. So annoying!

I returned to work on Monday, hoping that I am on the road towards recovery, but in fact, I was still unwell & coughing persistently. After rushing through a morning of work, I rushed to a job interview, which miraculously went smoothly for 40 min without any coughing, thank God!

After meeting Rebecca for dinner, I came home & my throat started to feel very warm. Like a burning kind of sensation. Uncomfortable. Like an internal volcano brewing inside my throat. I had difficulty sleeping in the beginning coz when I lay down, I would cough until I sat up straight on my bed. Maybe its the phlegm tickling my throat. I was very grumpy after cancelling my birthday dinner the next day with my family. I was also worried & uncomfortable about this burning sensation in my throat, but somehow managed to fall asleep.

When I woke up this morning (which is the actual day of my birthday), I went to see a different doctor immediately. I didn't have any appetite to eat. Oh well, at least 1 good thing that came out of this is that my waist line has reduced by 1 belt hole! That's good! Though not exactly a good way to lose fats... but seriously, my food / calorie intake has dropped by about half over the past 4 days. I seldom fall sick until I lost my appetite for days. Must be some elite virus!

This time, I waited for almost 2 hours to see the doctor. I refused to budge coz I didn't have any appetite to eat anyway & the sun was blazing hot outside. This doctor was more detailed than the other doctor at Siglap clinic & explained what was going on. I was glad to see him coz my Mum told me that he treated my brother when he got dengue fever the last time.

Anyway, the doctor diagnosed me as having a sinus infection / complication & the downward flow of thick green phlegm has been stuck in my throat, causing my throat to become very raw from the infection; thus resulting in the persistent coughing, occasional giddyness, ear block & vomity feeling. The doctor gave me antibiotics to attack the infection at my sinuses. Wow, first time I heard that there is antibiotics to treat directly the sinuses! I still remember the doctor looked at me seriously & said, "I don't like the look of your throat." And he also told me that any further strain will result in me losing my voice. I was also in a contagious stage, so he decided to give me 2 days MC (today & tomorrow) to stay away from office.

I had already taken leave for today, but when I am this sick, I seriously couldn't be bothered. So here I am now, trying to recover. I haven't really spent time with Rebecca for almost 1 week, though I do grab the opportunity to chat with her over the phone. Miss her... sometimes when one is ill & down, the presence of a loved one can be so assuring...

Words of Wisdom

2007-09-18T20:14:00.000+08:00

This is from a forwarded e-mail from my Mum. Those listed here are those which spoke to me...

- Quit griping about your church; if it is perfect, you couldn't belong.
- If the church wants a better pastor, pray for the one it has.
- God does not judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
- Some minds are like concrete; mixed up and permanently set.
- We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
- Be ye fishers of men You catch them - He'll clean them.
- God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
- If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
- Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
- You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

My Personality-Based Inclination!

2007-09-06T23:34:00.000+08:00

I just took this career profiling assessment test at Job Street website and this is my result!

RCI's PEAKS profiles provide for you a glimpse of your personality-based inclinations towards the job-specific excellence benchmarks in Corporations. Corporate leaders at all levels exhibit five sets of traits classified under the acronym PEAKS.

(P) Purpose
(E) Energy
(A) Affirmation
(K) Knowledge
(S) Sustainability

Top performing staff in progressive corporations exhibit a compelling Purpose, dynamic Energy, uplifting Affirmation to others, visionary or futuristic orientation to Knowledge & robust Sustainability.

Here's a glimpse of your Personality-Driven Potential related to:
AFFIRMATION

You are a person who enjoys helping others achieve their goals!

You see the best in people around you, preferring to lavish trust rather than suspicion. You are straightforward with people, appreciated by others as frank and genuine. Honesty to you is the best policy. You value your innermost feelings and those of others, whether they be positive or negative ones.

You are an approachable person who will follow instructions, but will also challenge if procedures are questionable. You are a tender-hearted person who is invigorated when performing acts of compassion and kindness.

Compared to the masses of people who score on Affirmation, you are unusually capable of creating peaceful and co-operative environments in an independent and scrutinizing manner. You represent the top 24% of test takers in the world who have this unique combination of personality characteristics.