Sentosa Is Not Flat!

Yup, it is a painful lesson to learn… not that I didn’t know this before I signed up for the New Balance REAL Run that was held this morning at Sentosa. Except that I didn’t expect it to be that bad… or should I say, challenging. Extremely challenging. Definitely not for the faint hearted. Or those who have not run consistently for at least a couple of months.

After spending a wonderful Saturday afternoon with Rebecca, I returned home on the bus, thinking how it would be like the next day. I had to wake up early and to reach Sentosa by 7am. Rebecca kidded with me that her gut feeling told her that she would see me in church the next day coz I had woken up late. But I was determined not to let that happen.

Yet, as I sat there on the bus, I thought to myself if that determination was enough to see me through the race. After all, I was very, very unprepared. Through the stirring of my heart after listening to Joel share about this upcoming cross-terrain race at Sentosa, I decided to take a step of faith to sign up for it.

It has been a rather long 6 years since I returned to competitive running… but something inside compelled me to sign up. It was like a small mini fire still burning inside to want to be the best that I can be, in the sport which I had been in, throughout school and in the Army. Not about winning, but about putting myself to the test. A personal challenge, in other words.

But I was unprepared. Really unprepared. It was a late sign-up for the race. Just one month before. And I had stopped running for a long time, except the occasional jog like once a month. This time I had only 4 weeks to train, but I only ran twice, for a mere 5 km at each time. This is nonsense to prepare for a 10 km cross terrain race, with undulating road, jungle trail and beach sand!

I have been so tired out from work each day… often even dozing on the bus home until I woke up to realize that I had missed my bus stop. Once in awhile, I would wake up to notice that the bus had reached the airport! With this kind of fatigue, I just couldn’t bring myself to change into my running attire to go down for a jog… much less a run… and even much less for a timed run. Furthermore, my digital watch (with timer) had died several months back, so I didn’t have a watch either. Thinking back, I can’t imagine how unprepared I was for this race.

It is a painful lesson to learn that determination is important, yet not the only ingredient needed to achieve our aim. Just like how I learnt from my break-up with my ex-GF many years ago. It was also a painful lesson that faithfulness is not enough to sustain a relationship. These lessons have been painful, but I thank God for bringing me through.

The alarm sounded at 5:55am this morning… but I lay in bed till 6:05am. I had only slept for 4 and ½ hours. And that is already a bad start to a race day. As I lay on my bed, I realized that I was sleepy, but not feeling tired. Maybe it was inner adrenalin that made me feel that I wasn’t tired. But it is difficult to tell when I had just woken up from sleep. Yet what was holding me back was the worry of how I would go through this tedious race. I had set myself with two goals – one is to complete the race, and two is to finish it under 90 minutes. Sounds reasonable, but I wasn’t so sure about it.

After a quick wash-up, I changed into my running attire and knelt down for a short few seconds of prayer to commit the event to God… then I went downstairs to flag a cab. One passed by immediately and I got in. Inside the taxi, I prayed about the race again, as well as for Rebecca. She is one sweet darling to me. I thought about her more than the race… which I wasn’t sure if it was good or bad. Or maybe both thoughts are important – the race and Rebecca. I had persuaded her to sleep more and not come to support me at the race.

It was a quiet ride all the way into Sentosa, with the expected traffic jam nearing the causeway bridge to Sentosa. The taxi driver got lost inside Sentosa, as both of us didn’t know where exactly the car park is. So I stopped to ask a road marshal before getting back into the taxi.

As I reached the gateway car park, I walked into a familiar feeling. One that I had felt since my secondary school days. Adrenalin pumping mood before a race. But this time the feeling was a bit different. What I felt was the adrenalin from those gathering at the waiting area near the starting point. For me, I held more worry than adrenalin for the race. My mind kept hounding me with thoughts that I was unprepared. I could not push those thoughts aside coz it was true. And I had to admit that. But I was feeling well… and it was really an act of courage to follow through with my personal challenge.

The place was filled with fit-looking individuals from the NS Home Team (Police, Civil Defence, etc) as well as from the SAF, Navy, polytechnics and corporate companies. Being previously from the SAF Logistics formation team (Yeah, I was fit back then), I recognized one or two of them who trained with me, once or twice in the past. One of them was this woman who was a major in the SAF. But I don’t think any of them recognized me. But it doesn’t matter… coz my SAF competition days were over anyway.

Walking and looking around the place made me feel like a extra-terrestrial (E.T.) coz so many looked fit, especially the Malay and Indian runners. I didn’t know whether to find it encouraging or intimidating. Or maybe it was both... but slightly more on the intimidating side.

I was so anxious about whether I could complete the race that I didn’t warm up much. In fact, to be really honest, I felt weird warming up! *Laugh* Fancy hearing that from a previous competitive runner of 8 years! Yeah, I really mean it. It just felt so strange stretching for a run. I knew the type of stretches that I should be doing, but I didn’t do them all coz my mind was too preoccupied about the fear of the unknown terrain.

As if the words ‘road’, ‘trail’ and ‘sand’ didn’t sound scary enough… I made the 4th mistake that any competitive runner should not make – not even seeing the route that I was going to run. The map provided was not very clear to me… or maybe it’s because I seldom go to Sentosa. But even so, the map doesn’t say much about how to plan my run for that day. It was a 2D map which doesn’t even say anything about the degree of slope of the terrain!

I jogged a little to warm up my legs before I moved to gather with the mass of runners near the starting point. It was then that I realized my 5th mistake that I should not have made. I was utterly dehydrated! I haven’t been drinking much water for the past week! In my conscious anxiousness, I had forgotten that my lips were almost totally dry. Argh! So I took a quick sip of water from this 100 plus cup at the nearby water point. I thought it was 100 plus, but it turned out to be water. Sigh…

Standing in the midst of a few hundred runners, it started to feel sweaty from each other’s body heat. But it didn’t matter… I was sure that I would sweat even more once I started running. Soon the horn blew and the first group of runners went off. They were the men and women junior runners, mostly from primary or secondary school. Shortly after they had left, the horn blew again for the rest of the open category runners to begin our race.

Typical as the Sheares Bridge run, we would start by walking coz it takes time for the mass of people to clear up by running forward. And soon I began running. I decided to take a regular pace, which I did, but soon I started to feel tired. The road is not easy to run coz there are slopes and the worse is the upward slopes. By the first half of the first slope, I was tired out already. In my mind, I was thinking how on earth, would I be able to run this sort of race! The normal flat is already tough… must less this one! I huffed and puffed, worse than the wolf who tried to blow the straw houses down. As it is, my huffs and puffs were already so shallow… I don’t think any straw house would even fall down.

The down-slope is easier, especially since I learnt how to increase my stride while I was in competitive running many years back. In fact, I managed to overtake quite a lot of runners using this technique. In my heart, I was smiling, wondering if they didn’t know this technique. But (yes, there is always this word ‘but’) increasing my stride tired me out even more, coz running downwards faster means increasing my heart-beat, which is not very fit to start with.

By the time I reached the Golf Course, I was already in semi-running pace due to the tiredness. As I reached the loop, I saw a few Indian runners speeding ahead, legs flying like the wind… almost sprinting. I thought to myself, wow… these fellas must have trained for years! So I did some mental calculation to distract myself from the tiring run. At the pace they were going, they were aiming to finish the 10 km in about half an hour! I knew that was possible coz I have seen it happen before. In fact, even during my school days, I have seen young athletes completing their 5 km run in 15 minutes! Yes, I was shocked.

Very soon, my pace became jogging pace. I just couldn’t keep up anymore. More and more runners passed me, but I just couldn’t propel myself forward any faster than my legs are already carrying me. Furthermore, my mouth was feeling very dry and I wondered if I must have missed the 1st water point, as the beach came into sight.

As I reached the beach, I found myself stumbling in the sand, not used to the feeling at all. It has been many years since I ran on the sand. I mean, why should I be doing this often when I wasn’t training for any competition? Running on sand is a sure way of draining out your efforts very fast coz there is no way to apply pressure on the front of your feet to push your body forward. Your momentum just sinks in, each time as my feet also sunk in.

Soon, I couldn’t take it anymore and slowed down into a walk… but still trying to walk as fast as I could. As tired as I was, at times I would smile when I found myself brisk walking almost as fast as the slower runners who are still trying to run on the sand. Yet… my quiet smile soon faded, as more and more runners overtook me. Believe me; it is demoralizing to be found walking, while almost everyone else is running past you. My huffs and puffs got heavier as I pushed my body forward; wondering when on earth would this sand distance end.

As I trotted along, I realized that the sand at Sentosa beach is very different from the sand that I used to run at East Coast beach. The sand at East Coast is coarse and hard (often in clumps), thus making it less difficult to run. This sand at Palawan beach is different! It is fine, soft and literally ½ of my shoe sinks in, at every step I take! It was almost impossible to propel using my back-foot lift technique either.

After a much tiresome effort, I reached the end of the sand route, feeling totally drained out. Those runners who were walking at the sand route had begun running coz it was now the trail route, through the jungle (or should I call them a mass of trees). But I was totally gone by now… jogging a bit, then walking a lot more. I felt like it was a walk-a-jog, rather than a cross-terrain run. When I saw that I had only reached the 5.5 km mark, my heart just sank. Literally lost of hope and wondering how I am going to go on like this… 4.5 km more leh! Siao liao lah.

Thereafter, I reached a water point (which I seriously think it was the 2nd water point after I had missed the 1st one). I slowed down to grab a cup, feeling shy and avoiding the look from the water point helpers; afraid that they would see my worn out and pale face… which I believe was already looking the way I felt it was.

I saw that same light green 100 Plus cup and wondered if it was again another trick of water. But to my delight, it was 100 Plus! YES! I never felt so refreshed! 100 Plus tasted better than water! Another mistake that I made, the 6th mistake, which is to drink down the water fast. This is one terrible mistake coz this method of drinking would soon cause stitches if I continue running, which was what I was supposed to do anyway. After all, it was a water point, not the finishing line. But I didn’t have a choice! I was drained!

Now that my thirst was semi quenched, I continued my jog, trying to pace myself so that I won’t get stitches. Surprisingly, I didn’t get any! Wow! But with more and even more crowds of runners passing by, and poor me still walking from exhaustion, it just couldn’t get anymore demoralizing than this.

Soon, with my eyes staring blankly in front, I began to get used to people overtaking me. It had become a trend by now. However hard I tried, people still overtook me. It didn’t make a difference. But the truth is, there wasn’t much that I could try anyway. My strength was spent. Furthermore, my body started to feel hot… and I found myself beginning to reach a point of heat exhaustion. My head was feeling warm, rather feverish and body was heating up from the lack of water and strain from exertion. I felt terrible… but trudged onward at a slow pace. I just set my mind on finishing the race.

Strangely, it was like I had begun to see all these from within my eyes. Like I was watching myself run, while many runners overtook me. It was like a quiet reflection, in the midst of a totally beat-out body. I looked at my watch and it showed that I had been running for about 40 minutes… still a long way to go… and worse thing is – I can’t see how far I have left to go! I don’t even know how the route is like! I was not prepared… and what made me feel worse was that I knew all that I knew to prepare for this. But I didn’t do it. Both because I was tired out from work and I had lost the momentum in running already.

The trail route ended and my heart leaped, wondering if I was nearing the finishing line. By now, I had walked more than I jogged… which was terribly demoralizing for an ex-runner. Then I saw it… I saw it… but it was not the finishing line… it was the sight of another beach! Oh no!

My heart groaned at every step that I took, trotting as fast as I could along the sand. Just that this time, I didn’t have the will to run or jog anymore. I just wanted to walk out of this sand and get onto the main road. And even so, walking on this stumbling sand was killing me… I couldn’t even walk straight! It was terribly demoralizing to see and hear small little boys (as road marshals) cheering us along. I couldn’t even lift my head to look at them. I was too tired and too embarrassed. As I gazed to my left, I saw some smart runners who decided to get their shoes wet by running on the edge of the beach coz the sand was firmer there. But I was too tired to change direction. I just wanted to finish the race.

My head was still feeling feverish, but I knew that it wasn’t the sun coz it was only 8:45am! I struggled on, silently praying in my heart that God would help me. But no strength came… or at least I didn’t feel that there was much. But I steeled myself to go on, even if I was walking.

As I reached the end of the sand route, I prayed in my heart that there would not be another one of these sand routes. I gulped down another cup of 100 Plus at the 3rd and final water point… and continued my slow jog and walk. This time I was too tired out until I got stitches. Can you believe it? Brisk walk also can get stitches! My first time, I think! Thankfully, it was a small stitch, so I could keep going.

Reaching the final road path, the road marshals announced that we had reached the last 2 km to the finishing line. At this time, my heart couldn’t leap in joy anymore coz I was literally moving on my body on subconscious motion, but my mind wasn’t there already. My mind was just full of tiredness.

Suddenly, I thought about Rebecca, which gave me a little bit of strength. But it soon wavered, as I wondered if it was good that she didn’t come to support me. At least she won’t see me in such a pitiful state. I slowed down to a walk again, wondering how many countless times had I stopped to walk already. This was when I realized that my heart was weaker than my legs coz whenever I began to jog again, my stride was still maintainable at jogging pace… but my heart was burning inside.

No more water point already. Great. But I was too tired to bother already. I saw many semi-bald uncles running past me, as well as young women who looked fit. I felt so ashamed. At one point of time, I wanted to distract myself from the pain and tiredness by looking and admiring some of their slim and fit legs. But I decided to stop that and focus on the remaining distance left.

I heard the announcement of 1 km. YES! I started to jog, but stopped again after about 20m. My body couldn’t go on anymore. So I walked till I heard the road marshal announce that it was the last 500m to the finishing line. I gritted my teeth and vowed to myself that I was jog finish the last 500m without stopping anymore. Come on, Matthew… I thought to myself… at least give yourself this chance to regain a little respect for yourself by finishing this last 500m without stopping. Please! So off I went… and with a loud grunt, I ran as fast as I could at the last 50m towards the finishing line! Finish!

I was absolutely beat, as I walked to collect my goodie bag. I couldn’t see Joel or Jacob around, so I sat down by myself to pour out the sand from my shoes. Now that’s the difference between East Coast sand and Sentosa sand. Sentosa sand is so fine that gets into your shoes! And I was carrying sand inside my shoes since the first beach that I encountered during the race. So there I was, sitting down and pouring out the sand from both Palawan and Siloso beach. *Laugh*.

Suddenly my left leg stiffened, followed by a shearing pain shooting up my left calf! I gritted my teeth, recognizing it as a cramp due to an over-stretched muscle. Yeah, what could I expect from this sort of run? The pain was terrible as I sat down winching in pain for almost 3 minutes! My face showed PAIN and I wondered if anyone was watching. I gripped my left calf and squeezed hard to numb the pain, but it didn’t go away… not at least until a few minutes later.

What a relief! I could walk again, but this time with a small limp. And this limp continued till now… half a day later, even after my 4 hour nap. I had indeed pulled my left calf muscle. Over-strained. It may take 1 – 2 days to recover. Argh. But all in all, I was glad to complete the race. And I did achieve my 2nd aim as well… to complete under 90 minutes… which I did… in 70 minutes! Truly was a challenge. But I won’t go into such a race without training, ever again. Spare myself the agony… and the abrasion that I had from the run. But it was a good experience… =)