Mindset About Working Hours

Recently, I have asking myself everyday about why I feel so mentally constrained by the limits of my starting & ending working hours of each day. If the employment contract states, for example 8:30am - 6pm, how is it that by the time I watch the time reach 6pm, I keep having this bugging thought that its time to go home?

Is it becoz I really see my job as just earning an income & giving my time just for that 8.5 working hours each day? Is it becoz I don't see meaning in staying beyond my stated working hours? Is it becoz I would rather do something else? Is it becoz work is boring &/or stressful? Is it becoz I'm procrastinating coz I want to leave the rest of the work till the next day? Is it becoz I feel that I'm not paid well enough to work overtime? But what if I get paid more, would I feel motivated to work overtime? Is it becoz I want to spend time with my wife & kids? Is it becoz I want to exercise before dinner? Is it becoz I'm feeling tired & want to go home?

There are so many questions that bug me, whenever the clock hits 6pm. And seriously, I'm beginning to think that its not how much that I'm paid, that determines how committed that I am to be willing (or even glad) to work beyond the stated office hours.

Well, here are my personal reasons that I can pluck from the entire paragraph of questions above:

1) I see my job as earning an income (not something to pledge my life).
2) I believe that there is more meaning to life than just work.
3) I wish to exercise before dinner (if not everything gets pushed back).
4) I wish to spend time with my wife & children (in future).
5) I do feel tired after a long day of work (esp if the work is intense).
6) I do not wish my life to be just work, until I reach home to sleep.

Sometimes I think about Rebecca's teaching job & I ask myself what really drives her to want to put in more hours at home (at night) to mark books, prepare lessons, plan activities, etc. She has already worked from 7am - 6pm. That's 11 hours. Assuming she puts in another 2 hours of marking in the evenings, that would be 12-13 hours of work each day. In 5 days, that's 65 hours! Plus, she spends time to do work on weekends too. Assuming both Saturday & Sunday totals 5 hours, that would mean she works 70 hours a week! That's crazy! To me, at least...

She says that she finds her job meaningful & I think it is too. But seriously thinking, would I do that if I were in her shoes? At this point of time, I would honestly say "No". Its not that I mind waking up early, coz I already did that for 2.5 years in the Army... but rather, I just find it so inappropriate to bring work home. There ought to be a line drawn or at least during weekends!

Okay, so the good thing is that teachers have holidays in June & Dec every year. Although they have courses to attend, CCA to be involved in & school meetings to attend... well, at least their total number of rest days are more than an average person's annual leave. But still, would I still want to work 70 hours a week? I still don't think so... even if they paid me $3000 or $4000, I would still not want to put in 70 hours a week.

Even farmers & rubber cutters in the past woke up early, but they stop work after sun down. Even hawkers nowadays wake up early, but may not necessarily work the entire day. Some open their stalls early in the morning, but close shop by late afternoon. Some open their stalls only at night (about 6-7pm) & close shop about 1-2am. Even for food court hawkers, they open their stalls at 11am & close shop by 9pm. And some of these food sellers are earning more than us average earners who slog in schools or organizations! Some hawkers also get to drive big cars & go for overseas holidays. Plus, being a food seller also has peak & non-peak period. So it isn't all slogging 10 hours a day. Whereas at work, its ongoing e-mails, reports, phone calls, meetings, events, etc.

What really makes some people willing to put in these long hours into their job? Besides the typical reasons like promotion, higher pay & meaning in their job? Seriously, I can only think of these 3 reasons! Coz I know of many other people who REALLY start & end work on the dot... & they go home happy. In my 1st company, most people in the office go home by 6pm. In my 2nd company, most people go home by 5:30pm. My Mum herself has been working for 30 years & she also knocks off at 5:30pm to take the company shuttle bus directly home. So privileged! This was until she recently took this job, but she still reaches home by 7pm everyday.

So what about me? I'm not ambitious for huge amounts of pay or promotion. I derive meaning in my work in terms of reaching out to my colleagues & being a good testimony at work, & I also find my purpose & meaning in my ministry in church. So I don't find myself motivated in terms of working overtime! Am I supposed to feel great satisfaction in working later than everyone? I do that a lot in my past 2 jobs, but neither did I feel great about myself. Neither did I get anything significant in terms of pay & promotion (which I'm not pursuing anyway).

Now you see why I feel so confused? Why is it that many people are able to work & go home on time, feeling happy, finding the time to exercise, going out with friends, spending time with spouse... whereas others have much less than this? I want the former, not the latter! To make things worse, nowadays job natures have changed... people are now working out of the office as well... checking their e-mail at home, replying their e-mail via PDA, working on reports into late at night, staying in touch with the latest updates at work over the weekend, using mobile phone to SMS colleagues on Saturday & Sunday, bringing laptop even when going overseas, etc. What is the world coming to? Sometimes I REALLY wish that I'm a hawker! Even working in retail has fixed opening & closing hours! But the drawback is that it involves working on weekends.

So where does all these leave me? I'm STILL confused. I know that teachers, pastors, actors / actresses, TV hosts, professional athletes, self-employed people & defence personnel work long hours... but others still have a fixed shift or regular working hours. What makes these people want to stay on in their job? Coz of interest, challenge &/or meaning? That's true... but they can still have this satisfaction in being in this job, but not necessarily when working long tedious hours!

So what is the whole crux that drives people to be willing to work long hours? I STILL don't get it... Oh, maybe its becoz of peer pressure (i.e. being kiasu) &/or not wanting to lose their job. But surely there is MORE to life than just working long hours, isn't it? If this job REALLY makes you work long, long hours... maybe a change of job may ACTUALLY be a blessing! I think its all just a vicious cycle... maybe that's one thing that I will be glad for, when I actually get to heaven, coz no more 'kiasu' people... I don't think angels are 'kiasu'...

Oh well, in conclusion (I'm still confused), I will still strive to do my best at where God puts me, until He decides to move me to some place else... I keep telling myself everyday that God is more interested in developing my character, than my comfort. Come on, God... Talk to me...