Fun & Dinner at my House

After visiting one relative in the afternoon, two of my relatives’ families came over to my house for a chit-chat, before Uncle Lawrence’s family went off for another dinner appointment & Uncle Robert’s family stayed back for a swim & dinner together. It was quite a fun time & I really thank God for it. However, there are a few thoughts that tossed about my mind about what I observed today…

Firstly, I noticed that Uncle Lawrence’s three daughters tend to be a little bored, coz my house has nothing to read, play or watch for three young adolescent girls. This thought kind-of struck me, coz apart from my Mum, my family is entirely made up of men & there’s almost nothing to entertain young girls who came by to visit. The same applies when these three girls visit Uncle Robert’s house coz he also has two sons & no daughters. Perhaps this could be my own impression, but I felt that my house can’t really cater to the needs of females, especially those young ones.

Secondly, I find my house quite small, when it comes to accommodating relatives who visit. In fact, with just two relatives’ families, my hall & dining area is already crowded already. This made an impression on my mind too, as I wondered if my future HDB flat would be spacious enough to accommodate relatives who dropped by to visit. A typical 5-room flat is expensive too…

Thirdly, when my cousin Abel & I went to the pool to swim & play, I felt a little odd coz I felt like I’m bringing my son to swim at a pool. Normally, I’m used to swimming with Rebecca, by myself or once in awhile with Sean, when he comes by to visit. But I seldom really bring a young child to the pool to swim & play with him.

I discovered that Abel (13 years old) is actually quite brave & sociable, in fact much more than me. Out of the blue, he can just start talking to this 5 year old American little boy, who is swimming around with two body floats! This little boy is quite cute… has a very nice smile… & my Mum & Aunty Lilian commented that he’s very handsome!

Abel started saying “Hello!” to this little kid & he replied by saying, “Hello!” in response. Then these two young fellas started saying “Hello!” again & again to each other, until suddenly Abel blurted out, “Are you from the United States?”

I was completely stunned! I thought he was just playing with this 5 year old boy, until he suddenly asked that question! And this little boy thought to himself for awhile before saying, “I don’t know… You would have to ask my Mum.”

Wow… for the first time, I was seeing two young kiddos conversing right in front of me, in their own kids talk! I didn’t how to react, coz I was in such a shock!

Abel soon made friends with this little boy & told me that his name is Kaleem or something like that. He even managed to find out that his sister’s name is Rebecca! Wow… he’s really sociable…

All of a sudden, Abel started to introduce me to them, saying that my name is Matthew & my girlfriend’s name is also Rebecca. And that little girl looked at me & laughed!

Then I made the silliest mistake that I ever made today. I started to say “Hello!” a few times to this little girl… & she suddenly exclaimed, “Why do you keep saying ‘Hello’?” Opps! What have I done? Oh dear… I really made a fool of myself. Maybe this tactic works for Abel & little boys… but not little girls. Or maybe it’s just me… & my silly thought of following after Abel’s footsteps… =)

Throughout the time that we had at the pool, I was either teaching Abel how to do somersaults, hand-stands & long jumps underwater… or supervising him talk & play with those little American kids. Abel reminded me of Rebecca’s younger brother Amos, as Abel was also quite influential & managed to bring these two kids on a tour around the whole swimming pool area.

Before we left the pool, Abel & I played underwater Judo… & I relaxed a bit & let him win me, 10-7. It was a fun time together & I wondered if I would play with my son like that in future… or if my son would be interested in learning how to do underwater stunts from me… or whether he would even be interested in swimming… or learning to pour & splash water on other people, just as I taught Abel to disturb his Mum who was also at the pool…

The gathering ended after a short steamboat dinner with several bought dishes from Bedok market, coz the Siglap shops were still closed. I lent Samuel & Abel a few VCDs to watch at their home too… It was a nice time…

Is it a good TV program?

As most of us probably noticed, TV Mobile regularly telecasts the show ‘Just for Laughs’ over its TV channel shown on buses. I personally find it a very enjoyable show to watch, coz it lifts the spirits of those watching it & makes us laugh. Seriously, I think it’s just such a wonderful TV program that really lightens up the unfriendly atmosphere on buses… & it always brings a smile on my face when strangers see each other laugh.

On the bus journey to another relatives’ house this afternoon, I watched ‘Just for Laughs’ on TV Mobile. This particular episode was very funny as it showed a moving golf hole, which stunned all the golfers trying to aim & hit the golf ball into the hole! My Mum laughed & laughed on the bus… & I smiled quietly to myself. It’s a very comical TV program that brightens people’s spirits!

However, one possible drawback is that whether it is nice to plot & film such comical acts on unknowing ‘victims’, for the sake of the amusement of viewers. I suppose the Western countries are more lax about this & people are more open in playing along… but I’m not sure about in a country like Singapore. So many people are so uptight about work & life stresses that the ‘Gotcha!’ camera crew may just get a punch in the face or a huge annoyed scolding from the ‘victims’…

Well, as what my Macroeconomics lecturer used to say, “Good or bad, it’s hard to say…”

Being able to bless others as well…

Whenever my family & I visit Uncle Robert & family at their home (especially during Chinese New Year), I always find them very hospitable & sincere in providing food & VCD / DVD for everyone to watch together.

I personally find that they live in a very simple & humble home, without a lot of fancy & expensive things to use or show off. I have never really wondered about their family income, but I know my uncle works in a very small company of like 5 or 6 people… & my aunty works as an admin staff at a church. But definitely, they don’t look like millionaires & neither do we see them living luxuriously. And I have never ever seen or heard them showing off or bragging about anyone or anything, in all my years of knowing them as my close relatives.

Of all my relatives, I find that this couple is the most loving, sincere & giving. Not that my other relatives aren’t, but this couple is really sincere about everything & makes it a point to go out of their comfort zone to bless others.

The food that they provide whenever they have visitors who come over to their house isn’t fantastic, but it’s simple & always served with a very giving spirit. I’m not trying to compare with other couples, but I find this couple indeed loving & understanding to each other.

Many couples quarrel behind others’ backs & sometimes even in front of relatives, when really provoked. And some can be seen to have quietly quarreled & obviously putting on a smiling face, so as not to make it look so obvious. I have even seen relatives quarreling quietly at the table, with a small smile on their face, so as not to attract attention to themselves.

But this couple is different. There are times when they disagree with each other, but it is always conveyed & communicated with patience & understanding. No fakeness about it, whether quietly with each other or in the midst of relatives. I have not seen them yell at each other before, nor even put on a false smile. And even when they scold their children, if they did anything wrong or rude, it would be a stern expression, not trying to hide anything.

Whenever my family & other relatives gather at their house, it has become standard ‘tradition’ that we stay till nearly midnight. And because my family doesn’t have a car (unlike the other relatives), Uncle Robert & Aunty Lilian will always take the initiative to drive us home, from Sengkang all the way to Marine Parade. Being hosts, they are already tired after serving food, mingling & chatting with us… & yet, they will take the time & effort to send my family home, with 6 adults squeezing inside their car.

I always make it a point to say thanks to them, coz I know that it’s really not easy for them. Even the petrol & electricity to power the car costs money. Plus, it’s already so late & they are tired… with no maid to help clean the house.

Whenever I think of this, I would always say a quiet prayer to God, in my mind, hoping that I would also be able to bless others with what I have… & hopefully when I have more than what little that I have right now, I would also be able to bless others even more, just as even those from humble homes have blessed me & my family too.

Intriguing thought about Narnia

My relatives, my family & I watched the DVD ‘The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe’ at Uncle Robert’s house this evening, after our Chinese New Year visitations.

Most of us have watched it before at the cinemas, though some have not watched it before. But for me, watching it for the second time brought further thoughts of insight into my mind.

It made quite an impression in my mind, when the eldest brother & sister refused to believe that their youngest sister Lucy has gone into this snowing land called Narnia. When the professor heard them saying to him that it’s just not logical, he was surprised & asked the two elder siblings, “What have your teachers been teaching you these days?” They asked in reply, “You mean… we should believe her?” And the professor replied, “Of course you should! She’s your sister!”

This conversation stirred in my mind, as I began to ponder about how growing up in such a modern & developed ‘urban jungle’ can so influence our thinking & criteria about how to believe things.

Seriously, what has our parents, teachers & peers been ‘teaching’ us? There seems to be more focus & worry about world happenings & striving to become the ‘cream of the crop’ in whatever you do, until we grow up forgetting or becoming unwilling to believe what we do not know & / or do not see.

So many things have to be proven as logical, before Man will take the step to ponder about it. Notice, I said ‘ponder’, not accept what has been shared. Thinking about it, it sure takes a lot to convince people about something nowadays. They want proof… they want to see how it benefits them… they want to know what are the consequences… they want to guess how others would think of them, etc. Why is it so difficult to trust someone, even when he or she is someone close to you? Why has there become such a spirit of suspicion among almost everyone? Why so much worry about ‘what’s in it for me’ kind of mindset?

I hope I’m not being judgmental here, but I personally find this especially difficult for those who are very smart & intellectual… or with high IQ. Sometimes it seems like the smarter we are, the more difficult it is to trust someone or believe something. Not that thinking twice & making thoughtful wise decisions is bad, but I’m referring to how suspicious our hearts can be, when we think & worry too much about people’s intentions, motives & our self-perceptions on the possible consequences if we choose to believe.

Perhaps it could also be an issue of pride or excessive self-confidence, thinking that just because we are older, more experienced or more intelligent…. Means we know better. Sometimes not so… if our heart is not humble & open, how can we really learn from others & how can we hear God’s prompting whispers?

Should we believe the news?

During a casual chat with a distant relative at my grand-uncle Andrew’s house, this aunty asked me if I was still working at StarHub & I shared with her briefly about me having to leave my job.

Upon hearing what I had said, she immediately told us that she’s been working at the Ministry of Manpower, & even this ministry lay off 3% of its staff each year! I was stunned & commented that I’m not sure if we should believe what is said in the newspapers about more jobs being created, when the ministry itself is laying off its workers, at a rate of 3% each year! What’s more it’s the Ministry of Manpower!

It really made me re-think about the fact that even working in the Civil Service isn’t really all that secure nowadays. And my aunty shared about how the ministries are becoming more & more performance based, until everyone gets all stressed up. This news really came as quite a shock to me… Hmm…

Not a Circle, but a Spiral

My family & I went for Sunday service at Christalite Methodist Chapel, where my brother regularly worships every Sunday. This chapel is a branch-off from my ex-church, Christ Methodist Church, so as to open up an avenue to reach out to the students at Geylang Methodist Primary School.

It’s a new experience attending the same church service with my whole family, coz normally, my brother & I attend a different church from my parents. I don’t know whether this is a good or bad thing, but I guess the most important thing is whether each of us are really growing at the church we are attending.

I thank our Lord for the fruitful harvest & growth of for the past few years, since it started out from a mere small handful of Christians who took the step of faith to commit to such a project. In fact, Dr Raymond Teo, one of the lay leaders shared with me & my Mum that the congregation has more than doubled over the past year! Especially with the young Christians aggressively tutoring & making friends with the primary school students. Praise the Lord!

I didn’t find today’s sermon very clear, but I do remember Pastor Nga Mee Hee sharing that we ought to view our struggles in life, not as a circle that just goes round & round, without being able to get out this vicious cycle… but as a spiral that still does go round & round, but moving slowly upwards, as we progress towards becoming more Christ-like, as God continues to mold us.

Although I understand what she’s trying to get at, I find it still a bit hazy, not in understanding, but more of really believing & seeing it actually happen in my life. But one thing she shared is that sometimes we may not be able to see our life changes in a matter of days, but if we look back over the years, we would definitely be able to notice a difference. I guess I’ll cling onto this thought till God reveals more to me…

Folding Red Packets

If I do remember correctly, this should be the first time that I'm folding dollar notes & putting them into individual red packets for Chinese New Year. Maybe when I was young, there might be once or twice when I helped my Mum in this, but this year I did all the red packets by myself.

Not that I was trying to be selfish & don't want others to help me, but I felt that this monotonous activity helps me reflect about thoughts in my mind... as usual, this is how I ponder about issues... when I'm preoccupied doing something else. Well, that's me...

One passing thought that really impressed upon my mind was that I suddenly pictured myself folding money & putting them into red packets after I got married. And in the scene in my mind, there I was, sitting in that exact sitting position on the sofa, folding these red packets, before I were to start giving them away during Chinese New Year visitations.

Am I thinking too much about settling down? Well, thoughts are thoughts... & it's not that I'm consciously trying to think about it, but these thoughts just come to mind. Oh well, it shouldn't be uncommon, considering that already 25 & 1/2 years old... on my way towards my 26th birthday in half a year's time. I think I have come to the age & stage of my life, where I have really begun thinking seriously about getting married & looking forward to a career.

Strangely, when I look at secondary school or JC students nowadays, they seem so young to me, though I still look young. But it's really difficult to imagine that it was NINE years ago when I was in JC. That's almost a full decade. Scary, huh? Looks like we are all getting older... cannot escape... or deny the truth...

But seriously, it comes as a strange & new feeling to me, but the truth is that I'm really considering getting married in a few years time. My biological clock at this stage of my life seems to hint to me of my personal desire to have a wife, my own home, possibly one or two children (in the later years of course) & a good proper career that I can establish (not to make lots of money, but it serving as part of my identity itsef).

It's really weird saying this, but I'm like half-anticipating & half-afraid of the time when I start feeling the desire to have children & bring them up. My childhood & school days seems so far away from me, something I can't deny... & I really can't deny that I really look forward to getting married, going for a honeymoon & settling down in a home of our own. Oh boy... I'm really growing up...

Lavishing in Sumptuousness & Freshness

My family, grandma & aunty Katherine went to this restaurant at Tampines Mall to celebrate our reunion dinner this evening. It was a newly opened branch at this location & none of us have never ever eaten there before.

This place is called ‘Pariss Restaurant’ providing an international buffet at quite a high price of approximately $30 per person, on normal days & almost $40 per person for festive occasions such as Chinese New Year.

I walked inside with my family & relatives, hoping that the food would be good, as it’s our reunion dinner… even though to me, a reunion dinner is more about a family gathering together, rather than just about the quality of the food.

Personally, I find the ambience of the restaurant quite alright (maybe 6.5/10), apart from it being a little cram for walking in between the tables & chairs that were situated further away from the buffet area.

After some chat & wishing my aunty happy birthday, we proceeded to check out the buffet selection. Oh boy… was I amazed! There is such a large selection of buffet food items, which just shocked the happiness out of my heart! I knew that I had to behave as an adult & I tried very hard to contain my excitement & started recommending this & that to my family & relatives!

I really thank God for a good time of chatting & especially so for the unbelievable richness, freshness & sumptuous variety of luxurious food that were laid before us! I was just in such a state of euphoria & several times I kept saying that I will definitely recommend to my friends & bring Rebecca to savvy this ‘heavenly’ food.

What really amazed me was the degree of freshness of the food! There was not a single tinge of stale or pungent smell, even from seafood such as oysters, crab, prawns & crayfish. The way the chefs cooked & served the fresh dory fish, cooked salmon, chicken chop, lamb chop & sirloin steak is just tantalizes our taste buds & makes us crave for more! My favorite is the dory fish & salmon! They are just so awesome! It’s as if the chef just killed the fish & cooked it right then & there for us! The skin was just so crispy & the flesh so tender & juicy! I could have sworn that I have never EVER eaten any fish so fresh before in my life! The flesh was so flavorsome & it almost likes melts in your mouth! It was just incredibly awesome! I just can’t forget the experience!

There were several very gratifyingly tasty soups that are good for improving our bodies, such as shark’s fin soup, some-sort of melon soup which is good for sore throat & even crocodile meat boiled in ‘bak ku teh’ soup that is great for strengthening our lungs! I have never eaten crocodile meat before in my life & the taste of the boiled soup was just overwhelming!

In terms of fruits, the selection was pretty standard, but the desserts selection was stunning! In fact, it was absolutely breath-taking at the first moment when I first saw the huge spread of luxurious desserts that later reminded me about how much calories that I had put back into my body, after my 20 laps swim before going off for the reunion dinner.

Right before my eyes, was this gadget that was constantly churning out warm & delicious chocolate flowing off from the top of the machine! And there was a whole array of marshmallows, strawberries, cucumbers, cherries, etc that were already poked into little wooden sticks for us to dip & soak in the pool of warm chocolate for as long as our hearts’ desire, before dipping into the cup of cool water to solidify the chocolate that had completely covered our food item! My favorite was the marshmallows with chocolate! I had seen such chocolate churning gadgets selling at electronics stores, but this is my first chance to eat from it! I was so in awed that I almost wanted to rush forward & just drink from the fountain of ever flowing chocolate! It would be so ‘sinful’, but I knew that I would love ever moment of it…

There were also many other kinds of desserts, such as mango puddings that were inside very cute looking yellow cupcake-looking kind of mini-jars & these were kept in cooling refrigerators, along with a whole array of cakes, such as black-forest, chocolate truffle & several other varieties of cakes!

Another thing that just surprised me was that the drinks section was fitted with quite a large drawer of all sorts of tea-bags! I counted that there were at least 25 different mini drawers that we could choose a different type of tea-bag, to make our tea! I tried the mango tea & it was alright, but I just love the peppermint tea… coz its aroma just surges into my nostrils & gives me such a relaxing effect! The taste was wonderful too, with a strong tinge of menthol taste which adds to the sensation of drinking this peppermint tea! After drinking it, I just felt that one day I should just walk into Cold Storage supermarket or something, to just grab a whole pack of peppermint tea bags to enjoy at home! One cup to boost my senses when I crave for a sensational tasting tea…

There weren’t just so many different types of tea, there was also an impressive coffee machine that allows you to select how you would like your coffee to be made, including whether you want milk &/or sugar, etc. Then, there was also a choice of three different fruit juices, such as orange, guava, etc.

The salad section was quite alright (I’m surprised to see my brother actually taking some salad vegetables!), but the fried food section was amazing! There were several trays, constantly refilled with numerous delicious fried tempuras (i.e. Japanese fried prawns), seafood ring (i.e. a larger version of union ring), juicy chicken satay (there was beef & lamb too), fried potato with skin that were warm & tasty… & many others!

This restaurant even had a whole assortment of Tim Sum, kept gently warm in a heated compartment & a variety of Sushi to choose from! Other delicacies include food items such as Thai Bean Curd, etc. The spread was simply amazing!

I really don’t know how to else to describe the extensive range & quality of the food at this restaurant. Eating here just made me feel like other restaurants just aren’t even close to be able to compare with it. It’s so overwhelming…

Feline Sniper

Never underestimate a sniper with perfect vision & reacts on cat-like instinct... =)

Unexpected Encouragement

I was awoken by a phone call this morning from a recruitment staff from the job agency 'People Profilers'. As usual, I composed myself before I answered the call & this nice motherly voice spoke to me.

Her voice sounded young & I estimated that she could be in her mid or late 30s. But what most distinguished this lady from other recruitment staff whom I have received phone calls from, was that many of them were in a hurry to determine my profile & find out whether I suited the job which they called me to find out further.

This lady was very calm & motherly in tone. She sounded more like a counselor rather than a recruitment staff. She asked me very nicely about my profile & why did I leave my last job... & for the first time, I didn't feel uncomfortable sharing with her in a bit more detail, why I was asked to leave my previous job. I was very surprised that she said this is actually a very common reason why people are out of job or left their job!

I felt so at ease, coz her tone was soothing & encouraging. During our short conversation, she heard from me that I'm helping out in church, so before she ended the call, she told me that even though the job that she's referring me for, is a temp job, but often we may not know what God has in store for us... & sometimes when things don't seem to be looking positive, God may still choose to turn the situation around for our good.

And she briefly shared that she has heard of many people who go into temp jobs, with no promise about converting to permanent employment status, but sometimes it does happen... even though the company clearly stated that they won't be converting their temp staff. In short, she was trying to tell me not to give up hope, even as I had lost my job for that particular reason.

For the first time, I put down the phone call from a job agency, feeling encouraged & smiling to myself. It's almost like God has sent this nice lady to call me in the morning, encourage me & give me a itsy bitsy teeny weeny bit of hope that not all recruitment staff are nasty & just concerned about their job specifics. And I even managed to post my other job application at the postbox, before the 2pm collection time! Plus, I got to buy breakfast for me & my Dad too!

Though it may seem as just another phone call, but it gave me hope that there are still nice people out there. Praise the Lord!

Here I Am To Worship

Light of the world
You step down into darkness
Open my eyes let me see
Beauty that makes this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You

Chorus:
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You’re my God
You’re all together lovely
You’re all together worthy
You’re all together wonderful to me

King of all days
Oh so highly exalted
Glorious in heaven above
Humbly You came to this earth You created
All for love’s sake became poor

1st Bridge
I’ll never know how much it cost
To see my sin upon that cross

2nd Bridge
Call upon the name of the Lord
And be saved

* Repeat Chorus

‘Porthole Effect’ – Mind over Matter

This is something which many of us do not experience… for only those who form the distinguished groups of the Special Forces have experienced this for themselves. Yet it is not because we as so-called ‘more normal’ human beings are not able to experience this, but it’s because we do not know what it feels like to be pushed to our utmost limits & still carry on.

I learnt from reading many military books that soldiers are not enlisted into the Special Forces, rather… this is something that soldiers volunteer for. At first, it struck my mind… volunteer? Yeah, coz this is such a distinguished group of the elite that you yourself must want it bad enough to be a part of it & have what it takes to become one.

There’s no need to force people to join, coz they wouldn’t make it if they didn’t want it badly enough from the beginning & keep reinforcing this in their brain till the end of their long months of grueling training.

One of the best examples is the famous ‘Hell Week’ (which all Navy SEAL candidates go through) puts you literally through an absolute hell of a week, lasting 5 days with only 4 hours of sleep in total. That’s approximately 48 minutes of sleep each day & the rest of the hours of agonizing physical drills, with no let-up in pace. I have a calculator with me, but I seriously don’t wish to count the number of hours of continuous grueling. If you do count, please let me know. I can’t bear to count. And that’s just the first week… which many journalists, congressional investigators & Navy bureaucrats have been accusing as mindlessly brutal, for over all these years.

You see, to become one of the elite, it takes more than physical fitness. A typical minimum fitness score to qualify for a Green Beret commando training, could be as simple & direct as being able to run 2 miles (3.2 km) in below 12 – 14 minutes, more than 100 push-ups in 2 minutes & more than 100 sit-ups in 2 minutes.

I haven’t tried the push-up & sit-up part (though I’m quite keen on trying it out just to test myself), but as a competitive runner in my early school days, this timing wasn’t a problem to me at all. I used to run 3.2 km at the stadium, 6 days a week, with an average timing of 13 minutes. But does that qualify me to sign for commando training? Far from it… coz qualifying for the course doesn’t stand on reaching the minimum standard of a typical fitness test. To be accepted into Special Forces training, you must aim for the top score for everything…

Most importantly, the strength of the mind is very important. This is what is referred to as the ‘Porthole Effect’, where in the midst of grueling training, the Navy SEAL trainees reach this state where they begin looking out through their eyes at the hostile world around them, despite the pain & discomfort outside this ‘porthole’ in which they are looking out from.

Trainees who don’t learn to retreat within the ‘porthole’ end up quitting Hell Week & even later parts of SEAL training because they have allowed their physical discomfort to take over their minds. If you want to know what kind of training they are put through, feel free to read about it.

This point made a strong impression on me, coz I find that many of us are ‘soft’ in the body & weak in the mind. If we speak to those who have gone through & some even escaped from prison camps or torture camps during wars such as the Vietnam War & others, their mindset is just different from the rest of us. When we push our minds to make ourselves do the impossible, that’s where something changes within us & we find strength for the task. It’s difficult to explain unless one goes through it for himself or herself, but if we ever undergo that & hopefully survive that, we will know what it means.

Does the ‘Porthole Effect’ really work? Can the mind really be over matter? We will never find out unless we ourselves are subjected to the test…

Why Save Private Ryan?

One thing that I have to applaud the Americans for is that they have this remarkable military policy, which I’m not sure if our country has. And it’s that ‘No one gets left behind’.

Sounds like a whole lot of bravado, especially for someone like me who have watched the movie ‘Saving Private Ryan’ & wondered to myself many years ago, why in the world would the Army send in one group of soldiers just to save one? Is it really worth risking the lives of this group of men, for the sake of one life which they wouldn’t even know if it still exists?

Here in this book lies the explanation & rationale for this military code of honor –

Firstly & most importantly, leaving any man behind would demoralize your own force… & that is a very crucial factor that could determine the outcome of a war.

Secondly, leaving your own wounded behind could result in them being captured, tortured & even killed, while being interrogated for sensitive information.

Thirdly, leaving no wounded or dead behind demoralizes the enemy! For they won’t even know what hit them… & possibly become afraid why none of the attacking force is injured or dead, when all of their troops are wiped out… & this is how we become a phantom force that strikes terror in their heart.

Newsweek - ‘Never-before-revealed’ story

I’m currently 1/3 through my new book titled ‘The Commandos: The Inside Story of America’s Secret Soldiers’. This book is written by a veteran Newsweek reporter Douglas C. Waller, who interviewed more than 200 commandos from the US Army, Navy & Air Force. Reading this book just makes all the sense to me why the Special Forces are truly considered “The Few. The Brave. The Elite…”

This book begins with a short prologue, followed by the chapters on ‘The Making of a Commando’ – from Robin Sage (Green Beret), Hell Week (Navy SEAL), Cowboys (Air Force Special Operations) to Delta Force training. Reading these accounts just blows my mind…

Following that, are true accounts of the Gulf War between the US & Iraq, also known as Operation ‘Desert Storm’. And the best part of this book, is that this reporter concludes with the final portion on ‘Tomorrow’s Warriors’ & ‘Tomorrow’s Wars’, explaining how war would possibly be like in the future. It’s so exciting! I’m just looking forward to this part!

Betting on a 'Wan Tan'...

Once again, Rebecca has managed to amuse me by repeating my jokes back to me....

I tried to talk nonsense by saying that I bet one 'wan tan' (i.e. small meat dumpling) that some of the church Young Adults will surely arrive at the talk late... & that very night, she made me laugh over this joke by attempting to bet on a 'wan tan' over SMS...

It's just crazy & amusing how much crappy nonsense both of us can stir up together... I just can't believe it... Hahahaha... =)

Double Choc Panda Biscuit

Rebecca & I went shopping for Chinese New Year clothes at Parkway Parade after church last Sunday. Both of us saw this very nice light blue short sleeve shirt from Marks & Spencer... & I was itching to buy it! But I haven't decided yet... coz quite expensive, though the quality is good & the design is unique & nice.

As we shopped around, we walked past this tidbit section, where my eyes were just tuned in to this latest variety of Panda biscuit. This new flavour is called 'Double Choc' & I was so facinated by it. Then Rebecca muttered in a comical warning tone, saying, "Don't be taken! I tried it before & it's just that the biscuit has chocolate taste..."

Wow... it isn't a very powerful phrase, but the way she said it was so funny! Like she was just bent on discouraging me from purchasing this new variety of Panda biscuit! Seldom hear her so insistent on bad-mouthing a food product... *Laugh*... =)

Thick like a Rhino?

Last Sunday, Rebecca & I were just casually discussing about jewellery when she shared this joke about this lady who had quite a thick neck! The silver chain that she wore really formed the circumference of her neck & I laughed & laughed to myself... =)

Is it really the Invisible Man? =)

There was one time when I winched in pain from a sudden surprise pain in my side ribs... & when Rebecca asked me what happened, I said, "The invisible man came & pinch me..."

Ever since that day, Rebecca has been occasionally reminding me of this joke that I had made & saying it to me, whenever I get these sudden rib pains...

It's interesting coz that's one of the reasons why I find her so cute... coz she's usually the one who makes my jokes & nonsense 'come to life' & makes me think that it is really & actually something funny... even to me, the creator of the joke! *Laugh*.... Thanks, Dear... =)

Morphing into Morpheus?

Rebecca made me laugh some weeks ago when she commented that my brother looks like Morpheus, from the movie 'The Matrix'. I really never saw it this way, until she said that... *Laugh*.

Roundabout Security

On Monday afternoon, I made a trip down to the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau (CPIB) to submit my photocopied birth certificate, academic certificates, testimonials, etc. There was a news advertisement about two weeks ago in The Straits Times notifying readers that the next recruitment exercise for CPIB is about to begin & interested candidates are invited to send in their application.

One of the first jobs that I really wanted to go into after graduation was with CPIB. Investigative work has always been something that gave me a spark of both challenge & curiosity. But since I graduated in the year 2004, there has not been any recruitment exercise for CPIB. Finally, my chance has come!

But I slipped up… though perhaps it could also be good thing, if my application was eventually selected & successful. There were a few bummers in this incident. Firstly, my mistake was that I had spent a day or two filling up the CPIB application form, which is 6 full pages long! Then secondly, I fell ill for the next 4 days, feeling groggy during the day & had difficulty sleeping at night due to my cold, blocked nose, sore throat & phlegm. Thirdly, after I was well, I had to go to the shop at Marine Parade to take photograph & ended up having to wait another two days before I could get my set of photographs.

Thus, here I was… today, rushing down to CPIB to hand in my photocopied documents, literally by HAND.

The internet street directory has served me well all these years, but it screwed-up this time round. The instructions brought me from Bedok MRT station all the way to Redhill MRT station, before I had to walk nearly 300 meters to a bus stop which I had to search all around the estate area to find! This bus stop was so ‘ulu’ & situated right in between a whole cluster of HDB flats... at a narrow two lane road, each lane for one direction of traffic! Gosh! Thankfully the bus came immediately when I found the bus stop…

Then I got off at the wrong bus stop because the street directory instructions stated that I should alight at the 5th bus stop, but this bus turned into the depot by the 3rd bus stop! Argh!

Upon alighting, I had to trace my way based on the street directory map which I had printed out (which was correct coz estates don’t change much even over the years). I wondered around the whole cluster of estates & started to find myself walking upslope. I looked at the map & realized that the bus had stopped at a hill-top HDB housing estate! Argh!

Yeah, it didn’t help that it was a sunny day… & I was wondering around on foot. I could faintly see a building that looks like CPIB, so I started to walk towards that direction. Soon I found myself to have reached the edge of the hill-top, where I was looking down at a height of several floors down. Wow… it was scary… So grunted to myself & started to turn back to where the bus stopped & proceeded to walk all the way down the pavement slopes, till I reached the main road. Yeah, it was quite a long walk.

When I reached the main road, I looked at the map & realized that I had been walking at the opposite direction of the CPIB building! Argh! But what to do… this is the only pavement slope downwards & out of this hill HDB estate! So I followed my map & continued walking…

Finally I saw the road sign that meant that CPIB was nearby! Yeah! When I reached the CPIB building, I looked up & saw the CPIB logo on the side of the building. It was sign of relief that I haven’t felt in years! I had walked a long way & in the hot afternoon sun!

I approached the gate nearest to me & found that it was walled up for 3 out of the 4 sides of the guardhouse, with only 1 side having a fenced up slits wall. I was shocked… & especially so when I looked at the almost impenetrable main gate that was really thick & solidly strong, painted white. It looked like the main gate into a fortress stronghold… with slits which I looked through to see that it led into an underground car-park with lots of cars inside… & I was taken aback…

I decided that maybe I should walk around this building & see if there might be another entrance that I could enter, like a glass door or something where employees who did not drive, would enter the building.

So walked… & walked… It was silvery square building, so the walls had 4 sides. I walked along the first side & it was a solid thick white wall, with no slits to look into - a complete white thick wall. Then I passed the second side, then the third side… still that grossly thick white wall & no way to look into or climb over. The solid white wall was at least 4 – 5 meters high & it looked like a super secured prison with dangerous warlord prisoners. It looked really scary…

As I walked on, I reached one end of the road… & I stood there shocked… for right in front of me, was SPRING building, right next to Jalan Bukit Merah area! Argh! From Redhill all the way to Bukit Merah already ah! What a long walk!

And while on my way around the CPIB building, I passed by the bus stop that had bus numbers 14, 196 & 197 that pass by my house! Arrggghhh!!! I should have just taken the bus from my house! Grrrr….

Finally, I reached the 4th side of the wall, where I was face to face with that same thick & solid white main gate again! I sighed to myself, having walk a lot by now. I composed myself & walked toward that super walled up & secured guardhouse.

As I approached, this man in red polo t-shirt looked at me & asked, “Yes, how can I help you?” I replied that I’m here to submit my application form. This man, absolutely like a look-alike to Uncle Chee Seng from my church (both by face & body frame) suddenly exclaimed, “Now then you apply ah!”

I was taken aback by his loud commanding voice, which momentarily brought me back to the days back in BMT, where the officers shouted in the same way as his Uncle Chee Seng look-alike. So I answered, “Today is the deadline.”

This man grunted to himself & asked, “What qualification are you?” I replied that I was a degree holder. Then he walked into the guardroom & brought out this application form & handed it to me.

I gathered that he didn’t understand what I had said earlier, that I was here to submit my application form, not ask for an application form. So I opened my backpack & took out my prepared envelope with all my photocopied documents inside & handed to him, saying that I have already applied online & I’m actually here to submit my photocopied documents.

The man’s face softened a little bit & said “Oh…” Then I asked if I could get some water to stick the sticky end of the envelope, so that the documents won’t accidentally fall out. Before I came to this building, I had half expected it to allow me to enter & find a washroom, where I could stick this sticky end of the envelope. I never expected it to be so secure all around & not even let anyone enter!

So this man said, “Never mind, the officer inside is going to open the envelope anyway. So you just wait for the phone call.” I acknowledged, thanked him for his help & walked off calmly. Although I walked off calmly, inside my heart was racing. I was so shocked that this man wearing a polo t-shirt was so fierce to me!

Okay lah, he wasn’t exactly fierce… I think he was just shocked that I came to apply for this position so late. But I was quite ill for the past 4 days & when I finally got my photograph & prepared my documents, it was already Saturday afternoon… & there is no mail delivery on Sunday.

Thankfully, I ran & managed to catch the bus 196 from the bus stop & just sat on the seat, still sweating & tired from all that walking. I still trust the internet street directory website, but just that this time, it really screwed-up.

The journey home took one full hour & I made a mental note that I would need to leave home at least 1 & ½ hours earlier, coz I need to wait for the bus as well. I’m not going to take that crazy Redhill MRT then bus route again. Grrr…

It was quite a shocking yet interesting experience for me. Rebecca replied to assure me that submitting on the last day itself shouldn’t affect my chances of this job application, coz it’s not a late submission… after I had sent her like 4 – 5 SMS to share about what had happened to me this afternoon.

Now I’ll wait for the phone call to see if I have been successful in getting this job interview & hopefully this job at CPIB. Just hope that this time; it would be what’s in line with God’s plan for me…

Crusty Pineapple in a Tart

What’s enticing to me when Chinese New Year is around the corner? Of course, getting red packets is one of them… but my second enticement is being able to eat pineapple tarts! I just love pineapple tarts! It’s one of my life-lines, besides eggs & other delicious goodies… =)

BIG handset screens are good

I transferred my Dad’s SIM card from his old damaged mobile phone into my old unused, but fully functional Nokia 6610i mobile phone. My Dad’s mobile phone is so old & ‘injured’ with cracks & scratches, that it takes a long time to even start-up & the screen shows distorted data at times!

It dawned upon me that to have a BIG handset screen is useful, compared to those smaller mobile phones with just as small or smaller screens… especially since my parents are older folks who are long sighted & can’t see near objects that clearly. Thus, BIG handset screens are good, so that the older generation can read the text messages clearer. I wonder if there would be mobile phones being designed & produced for older people… Hmm…

What’s with the Fence?

Last Sunday, my church had this very interesting talk by an overseas speaker from ‘Focus on the Family’ ministry. His name is James Thomas, a very friendly father of four who resides in New Zealand & he was invited to my church’s Young Adults Bible Fellowship (YABF) to share about ‘Pornography & Masturbation’.

As introduced by Uncle Henry, the speaker was indeed athletic & fit. He had bright clear eyes & I could see that he had a very good & strong posture, which really put me to shame. I must remind myself to emphasis more on correcting my poor sitting posture! If not, it would affect my spine curvature when I’m much older. Regular exercise is essential too, if not my bones would become weak.

Even after attending these two speaker sessions over the past two Sundays, I’m still surprised how God answered my heartfelt prayers (when I shared over my Blog in December last year) that the church should organize occasional talks on sexual issues coz it’s a very real issue for every human being (especially guys) & the worse thing is that it’s also the most uncommonly addressed topic.

I really hate it when I see this very evident & getting even more prevalent in our society & churches are just avoiding this topic, as if it’s a taboo which should not be mentioned in the open. After all, the human struggle with the ‘flesh’ & money are very often brought up in the Bible, which means God regards these as very, very critical matters. Thus, I strongly believe that bible study of the books in the Bible is important, yet should not be emphasized alone, without fair emphasis on topical as well as day-to-day issues, for example homosexuality, manipulation, obsession & worry of money, world epidemics & natural disasters.

James Thomas humorously shared about the distinct differences between men & women; regarding men as ‘microwave cooking’ & women as ‘long slow cooking’ when it comes to becoming sexually aroused. For guys, sight plays a very large part in influencing sexually arousal & girls need to be emotionally engaged before becoming sexually aroused. Another dangerous difference is that [some] ‘guys promise love to have sex, whereas [some] girls give sex to have love.

One of the unspoken things that impressed upon me was the fact that very early into his sharing, James Thomas, being a father of four children, openly & honestly confessed that being a human being just like every one of us, he too sometimes become tempted by attractive women, pornography & masturbation.

Although this didn’t shock me, but it made a serious & lasting impression in my mind that even though being married allows a man & a woman to engage in sex, it doesn’t necessarily mean… which in other words, does not guarantee that just because one has finally been allowed to have sex within marriage, means he or she would not fall into sin & temptation of the ‘flesh’.

Now that’s a scary thought, especially for those of us who feel that the only way to escape temptation is to get married. Well, yes & no… In fact, there might even be a higher unwholesome desire to be tempted by an attractive opposite sex, since we have already found sex to be very satisfying! In short, never let down our guard, no matter married or not…

James shared that pornography cheapens women. In the perspective of women, I find this something that isn’t new to them, yet more & more women are willing to do many things for the sake of making a quick sum of money & also fame, for those who are in the entertainment industry & health services arena (e.g. spa, massage, etc). Since many women are already aware of that, especially since many Asian cultures & traditions already profess this stand, then would it make any difference if this is being told to them?

In the perspective of men, James shared this enlightening truth that I haven’t really thought of in this view point before - that we need to remember that every female is someone's daughter or mother, and also a child made by God!

Yeah, I can guess what’s on your mind… for that’s also what’s on my mind – that it’s just so easy to say… And yes, as a guy, I admit that to be true. But that really ruins our respect towards women, don’t you think? And that’s a very damaging thought because once obsession over pornography becomes a habit, it would slowly begin to inflict damage on our mind & how we view & think of people around us… about women, as well as ourselves as men.

Like drugs, it can become an addiction… & we would end up ruining our minds, throwing away our conscience & either wallowing in self-pity each time we sin, or harden our hearts & no longer heed God. Now, who’s going to tell me that this isn’t serious?

James also warned that complacency is a big issue too. For complacency leads to us letting our guard down & actually opens us up to even greater chances of temptation & sin… which I follow up by saying that this also means a harder fall for those who are complacent, for they would not even be prepared when they actually fall down & hit hard.

One interesting pattern that was shared sounded loudly in my brain – that is, it all starts with one look…

One look --> A longer look --> Unclean thoughts --> Sinful actions

Needless to say, this often leads to masturbation for guys (mainly) because it seems like the only way to release this intensity of chemicals build-up in our mind & body.

This, again, is nothing new… for all who have fallen into this sin are soon fully aware that it is also very addictive. This time, we cheapen ourselves & turned away from a God-intended sexual fulfillment within marriage, because we have become addicted to counterfeit intimacy that brings damaging consequences!

James didn’t go into the details of how it would exactly affect future marriage, but even though I’m not married yet, I have already begun to foresee one possibility of how it could ruin or diminish our future married life with our spouse.

You see, when we become addicted to self-seeking counterfeit intimacy… & go into marriage still in this manner… our intimacy with our spouse would soon surface to become also self-seeking! Believe me, I’m a guy too… & I know… What could possibly happen is that we would go into marriage, concerning so largely in fulfilling our own needs & soon neglect our spouse more & more!

I’m not saying that we won’t strive to fulfill her needs, but it is about our true underlying intention of doing it. Yeah, I’m being very blunt here… for it may soon become our self-centered need to do so, because it satisfies us, rather than because our love making is grounded on true passionate love that seeks to give, not self-seek!

If this doesn’t make enough logic or sense, it shouldn’t be long before we guys will soon realize that we become desperate for sexual fulfillment in our marriage, because we have become addicted to satisfying ourselves, rather than because of the love relationship with our spouse!

And even if we still don’t realize it, don’t worry… it would only be a matter of time before our spouse will find neglected, coz she feels like we only want it because of physical fulfillment… but she doesn’t feel emotionally connected anymore. She doesn’t feel any more bonding between her & us (the husband)... & feels like it’s just a ‘mechanical’ activity that involves her for a short while, before off we go when we are done.

Yeah, correct me if I’m wrong, coz I’m not yet married. But at least to me, it isn’t too difficult to imagine this happening, if we don’t watch ourselves.

James also shared some tips on how to break these habits. He strongly emphasized that merely hoping & praying isn’t good enough… which is just totally & completely obvious… & definitely isn’t something new at all to us guys… for so often, we have tried our hardest at times & still fail by a far mile.

1) ‘Bounce’ the eyes

When we notice an attractive woman alongside the street, look away after the first look. The first look isn’t sin, but if we don’t look away, our initial look would become a longer look & that’s where the temptation begins. Being tempted is not a sin, but not resisting or fleeing from temptation is.

2) Renew the mind

Turn our thoughts back to God by singing a worship song in our mind, or start praying & thanking God for something in our life. In short, just turn our thoughts away from what could immediately start to tempt us!

3) Guard the heart

Disciplining our eyes means not allowing our eyes to linger on things which we aren't suppose to look at. Look away… for sight will always lead to thoughts. And this is something that we have to beware & be especially reminded of.

Analogy of a Fence

One of James’ advice is to start building fences that would hinder us from falling into temptation (not sin), for temptation LEADS to sin, not the other way around.

This was a point that spoke to me the loudest & hardest hit…

James explained this concept by showing us a picture of this group of tourists standing at a ledge of a very high cliff, chatting & taking photographs. In this picture, the ledge of the cliff was not captured into the photograph… & James asked us why are these tourists all standing around, chatting & looking so relaxed when they are at the ledge of this cliff?

For some time, I couldn’t figure out the answer. Then finally Evan, one of the young adults, said that maybe there’s a fence at the ledge of the cliff. Wow… & at that moment, my mind was just stunned… & I took a few moments to process all the swarm of thoughts that had begun filling my brain waves…

That’s precisely the answer, as agreed by the speaker, for a fence is built, not only with the intention of reminding us of danger & deter us from moving too near the dangerous ledge of the cliff, but this fence was also put there, so as to give freedom to us who are walking around this cliff! For without a fence, many would be afraid even to come any where near the ledge of the cliff, to take fantastic photographs of the scenery beyond!

These thoughts struck me like a hammer on my head. Bong! My mind as opened to how this relates to God’s laws & commands in the Bible. You see, God’s laws & commands work like a fence in certain areas of our lives, so as to remind us when we approach danger, deter us from getting hurt AND giving us the freedom of living life to the fullest, without compromising on God’s best for us!

Hallelujah! No longer would I view God’s commands as hindrances in my life, for I now understand the concept of the fence & why fences are intended by God for reasons which we now know & more which we do not yet understand. Our Heavenly Father knows all things & He loves us. Let’s not try to challenge Him ok?

Finally, James’ advice is that we pay attention to the people whom we associate with, be they friends or colleagues. Sometimes encouragement in the wrong area can be just as easy to fall into or fall back into temptation & sin. Choose our friends carefully.

Would Demise be an End to Inspiration?

Since late last year, there has been so much hype over the Internet about actor Sylvester Stallone making his last movie in the Rocky & Rambo film series. I have been following this news quite regularly & I’m just looking forward to watching this last movie leading towards the end of this wonderful epic saga.

According to the latest internet news updates, the movie ‘Rocky Balboa’ (previously named as Rocky 6) will be out in the year 2007, along with Rambo 4. There has even been an official Blogspot website set-up to showcase production photos, video clips & updates on the film making progress of this movie.

I have downloaded the film production photos & to my astonishment, Sylvester Stallone looks very old, compared to his last Rocky film! His skin tone looks paler & the muscles much less defined, as compared to his last Rocky film – Rocky IV.

I started to think to myself – what if the day comes when Sylvester Stallone passed away? It is definite that I & millions of his fans around the world would be feeling down & upset… but what really shook my mind was this thought – would his demise lead to an end or diminish to the inspiration which his movies such as Rocky has portrayed & inspired millions over the past three decades?

At present, I don’t have an answer to this probing question in my mind. But it would surely be a huge uproar in the media for this man has inspired & moved the hearts of millions around the world…

Encouraging the Female Heart

I was surfing the Internet for some recent news updates on the upcoming movie ‘Rocky Balboa’, the 6th & final blockbuster movie of the whole series of Rocky movies, I stumbled upon this website which kind-of surprised me.

This website relates an interview with Talia Shire, who played Rocky’s girlfriend then later wife in the Rocky movies.

I had always thought that ‘Rocky’ movies were for men, to give them a boost in their confidence towards themselves in striving towards their goals in life. Never had I expected that ‘Rocky’ warms & encourages the hearts of young women out there too!

For those who need a left hook to jar their memory, the film is about the plight of Rocky Balboa (Stallone), a thug-turned-boxer who defies all odds in his quest for the heavyweight championship. The film co-stars Shire as Adrian, a shopkeeper racked by low self-esteem, until Rocky brings love into her life for the very first time.

Here is how Talia Shire describes her experience when she first met Sylvester Stallone –

"Even though I read the piece beforehand, I was not prepared for the man, who was absolutely larger than life -- that scale, that size, that energy and wit -- and he was coming in the door backwards."

And this is the most fascinating part –

“And while she's maintained that connection with Stallone over all the intervening years, she's thrilled that audience members still maintain a connection with Adrian. The character to this day inspires people with low self-esteem to break out of their shells, and people approach Shire in public to thank her for it.”

"It happens all the time, and with both men and women," Shire said. "Many young girls too. I can't tell you how many (who have come up to me) who have felt unloved, rejected or not up to the ideal standards.”

"Especially today, there is so much pressure for women to look a certain way, and Adrian comes out of nowhere and is transformed by love through love. Rocky sees her in a certain way, and that has a great meaning for young girls."

Judgments without the Holy Spirit

When I did my QT this afternoon, I stumbled upon the verse which I was trying to search from my mind yesterday, after having encountered that probing & questioning session with the two business executives from Venture Era Pte Ltd.

And this is the verse which confirms my conviction about yesterday's incident -

"The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him & he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned." - 1 Corinthians 2:14

The book of 1 Corinthians, written by Paul, revolves around the theme of problems in Christian conduct. It thus has to do with progressive sanctification, the continuing development of holiness of character.

When I read this, I had unknowingly began to ponder about this for awhile. It suddenly dawned upon me that people do regard character as something important & to a certain extent; it looks to be of something worth to work on & develop. Yet this understanding of character is often shallow in the minds of Man, as many think of character in more commonly referred attributes such as honesty, trustworthy, diligent, etc.

In short, the value & definition of character is largely & often viewed from the human perspective. But sometimes, we fail to realize that character isn't just about such human attributes... but character should also be viewed from the perspective of God. And thus, this is where other attributes such as holiness come into the picture.

If everyone were to talk about & develop character based on human perspective, then how does that differentiate Christlike character from mere human character? Of course, all good attributes come from our Heavenly Father, but missing out on this Godly perspective, wouldn't make us any difference from people from other religions striving to develop their moral character as well. Or even for a free thinker who just wants to be a good person.

Aqua Aerobics

I cleaned up Elfie's cage this afternoon & gave him a few seconds bath to wash off any smell & dirt off his body. It's so interesting & cute to see him running in my basin inside a small water pool. He looked a bit scared & clung on very tightly to my palm when I carried him out of the basin, but I soothed his racing heartbeat by wiping him dry all over, while he laid down on my palm.

After wiping dry, I put him in his washed & clean cage & let him toss around in his small container of bathing sand... to dry off the remaining wetness on his fur. As usual, he would spend some time licking & cleaning himself, but he wasn't scared of me & even crawled out of the container & scamper towards his favourite ikan bilis which I held in my hand!

I guess some animals are afraid of water, since its their natural instinct to survive & not drown. But I wasn't going to let him drown, just let him move around in a small pool of water for a few seconds, then dry him off. It would be nice to give him a bit of a shower once every 2 weeks & wiping him dry, of course.... would be nice... & a new experience for him...

Heartstrings

Beautiful morning,
Peaceful sky
Birds happily chirping,
On the branch on high
Missing my Darling,
Hoping she's fine
Saying that I miss her,
Happy she's mine!

This poem is dedicated to my sweetheart Rebecca... =)

Which REALLY is reality? (Continued)

As mentioned in my earlier Blog entry, I have never really imagined the possibility of being blasted twice in a single day, by two different companies & within such a short span of 6 mere hours!

This is the second part of my second ‘blast’ of the day –

The day before, I received a phone call from this person by the name of Don Chew, from the company called ‘Venture Era Pte Ltd’. Again, this is another classic case that has got to do with unclear (or deceptive) job titles.

I had applied for the position of ‘Management Trainee’ at this company. This job title doesn’t exactly define much at all, except that the person being offered this position would probably be given some time to learn the ropes of various aspects of the company, before finally moving onto a managerial position.

The name & voice of the caller sounded familiar. I guessed that he was one of the temp staff that worked under my girlfriend’s Dad at Cuppage last year. In fact, I ever brought my digital camera to take a photo with him, before he left the job! But of course, to play it safe, I didn’t want to tell him who I guessed that he was & we had actually worked in the same company last year.

He said that this position is for a sales & marketing executive, selling biochemical & pharmaceutical products. In my mind, I was thinking – fine, it’s another sales position. And I never really had a good impression of companies who kept on hiring sales people coz they work to boost company profits. It’s like an inter-dependent concept that focuses on solely on greater financial wealth of both parties. Simple concept - if the company makes money, so do you. Of course it makes sense, but not everything is as seemed for people with a different nature.

But nevertheless, after that horrid phone call by that annoying lady, I decided to change & go for this interview at this company. I have already gone for several interviews only to find that the interviewer finds me unsuitable or I don’t really like the nature of the job.

Let me share something very honestly & it doesn’t get anymore plain to say this –

This is really my personal opinion, but I really don’t find it a pleasant experience to be working at the Central Business District (CBD) area, for example, Shenton Way, Robinson Road, etc.

But for many, it’s a PRIDE to work there & be seen as one of the business executives who comprise this congested urban district of high-rise office buildings. It marks them as exclusive white-collar executives & managers with a prestigious & thriving business. It makes people feel like they are a class higher than those working in other places like industrial estates, flatted factories & neighborhood shops. It distinguishes them as big-earners & high ambitions for their blossoming potential careers. There aren’t many bus stops in this district. It is more often & mostly accessible by Raffles Place MRT station & a road where cars just pass & pass. Perhaps (it’s my guess), that for some, it feels like giving others the impression that they have attained one of the five (or more) ‘C’s, since they own a car!

To much bewilderment to these people, this is my impression of this place –

I don’t like this place because it is a very smoky place. Everywhere I look, I see men & women dressed in formal business attire, smoking & puffing like miniature dragons attempting to blow as much smoke as possible out of their nostrils & mouth.

Personally, I just find it so uncouth to see women dressed up with make-up & classic black & white formal business attire, smoking away next to dust-bins & following the trend of blowing smoke as if it’s really well of a skill to exhibit this. I mean, seriously… after putting on all that make-up & dressing up to look like a thriving business professional… there you are smoking away next to a dust-bin filled with cigarettes! Urgh!

You have to believe me - almost every dust-bin that I notice along Robinson Road is crowded with used cigarette butts! As if this isn’t already a sight to see overflowing dust-bins full of used & extinguished cigarettes, formally dressed business professionals huffing & puffing at cigarettes next to dust-bins, almost every café table outside the café are filled with cigarettes too! Some ash trays are still giving out cigarette smoke, even when there’s no one sitting there!

To top it all up, these business professionals also walk & smoke, while going to their offices, standing at traffic junctions, after a meal or drink, just outside the lobby of the office building, etc. There’s just the smell of smoke almost everywhere! As if the exhaust fumes from the ongoing vehicles are not hazardous enough!

Seriously, to me, this isn’t the central business district… it looks & smells like the central SMOKING district, as if their business & job is really & actually to smoke! Everywhere you look, there is someone smoking. And more often than not, it seems to be a trend that these business professionals crowd together, stand in a circle & smoke their lungs away.

Let me add on by speculating that in that area, cigarettes probably sell as well as perfume for their clothes & mouth refreshing mints…

Picture this news article – ‘Business manager earns his first million dollars… died from lung cancer at age 40’. It isn’t difficult to imagine the possibility of so much money that one can make, yet may not live long enough to spend it all… thanks to such a trendy bad habit.

Apart from the smoky environment, what I see is a mental picture of a whole district of people endlessly chasing after prestige & wealth. Of course, nobody would say that money is not important to survive in a developing or what’s more a developed country. But working hard to earn a living is different compared to working endlessly to crave for an unseen yet continuous ‘black-hole’ of money & power.

I’m definitely not implying that people working here works harder & longer than those outside this district, but this is place forms a mental picture of people slaving away the days of their lives, largely occupied with high ambition & full of self-belief of success.

I find it very strange that some people perceive success as linked to a person’s career. And believe me, the two business professionals talking to me at the interview this afternoon, were just so completely shocked with EYES OPENED WIDE, when I replied that I don’t see it this way. REALLY. They were both looking at me, as if I was some idiot from outer space.

Definitely not the ‘Kingdom mindset’ that the Bible tells us to look & work towards. I didn’t bother to explain, coz it was just apparently clear that their minds are not opened to this spiritual truth that was just briefly hinted to them, as an answer to their question to me.

This company deals with healthcare products such as water filtration & calcium-nized added to energized smaller water molecules. But I shan’t go into the details of the discussion & product presentation to me.

Although I do personally find it a very health benefiting product to market & sell, along with several testing & permission certificates given by Ministry of the Environment, CASE & several other testing labs results from Japan, Taiwan, Indonesia, etc… being a salesman isn’t my forte & it’s definitely not the kind of job that I wish to commit to. And being ‘blasted’ by people with regard to sales jobs doesn’t encourage me one bit to go into this line.

It’s just plain simple to me – this is a very good product for the betterment of people’s health, but there is a distinct difference between using it versus selling it. Honestly, after seeing the demonstration & reading the news articles locally & overseas, I would consider buying this product… but let me put it very clearly again – using it & selling it is a very different thing all together.

I must also commend this company’s business plan, as it is indeed very well thought through & very financially & prospects rewarding. This is the selling point of what these two gentlemen tried for hours to convince me. I felt like I was like one of their prospective customers whom they were trying to convince & sell me this excellent product. Again & again, in different ways of saying it, I told them that this is a very good product & the job very financially rewarding, but I’m just not interested.

This is where the probing & questioning began. When facts & paper do not convince, they resorted to interrogating your mind. Typical of any sales scenario & just like what Li Liang shared with us over lunch after church last Sunday – that one of the tactics of sales people is to spend hours trying to convince you, such that you would be tired out & give in to them.

They were very good at it... & normally so was I at rebutting such perceptually dissecting questions. But in this case, today I was ill. I had a short bout of slight fever the night before, accompanied by sore throat & phlegm that lasted for the past 2 – 3 days. I had taken quite bit of medication over these few days, still feeling giddy & I wasn’t exactly in the best of state of mind to listen & talk to them for hours. And they took a total of 3 hours. Well, at least I gave them the respect of my time, before deciding to leave the place.

It was just stunning to them that what appeals to them, doesn’t appeal at all to me! I have never seen people this stunned at me before in my entire life. But I forgive them, for they do not have the mind of Christ, which results in me making & standing by certain principles & decisions that I lay down for my life.

This job gives piles of wealth & planned in such a way that all staff need to work inter-dependently to achieve their goals & that of the company… which means there is much less back-stabbing, coz what is overall earned benefits everyone else, coz each get a commission cut from the overall company profit. Interesting teamwork concept, which I admire… though worked around so as for personal reasons for self-gain.

It is purely commission based, but a very good commission is given, plus other perks as an ambitious sales person climbs up the career ladder. There are great prospects for promotion too, along with the achiever given an above 2-liter car incentive (e.g. Mercedes, Lancer, etc) fully paid for by the company. That’s like an awfully HUGE deal for someone with high ambitions & a craving for great wealth & promotional prospects.

But it’s not me… & doesn’t appeal to me… & they just don’t get it.

One of the questions that they asked me was, “What is my ambition in life?” Since one of them was my ex-temp staff colleague at StarHub, I almost blurted out, “Whatever I do that helps others & makes a difference in their lives.” But of course, I stopped myself… coz they would think I’m crazy if I said that.

Yet, while they are still going on about how much I would benefit from this job & how the market is like locally & overseas… my mind was in a huge turbulence, tossing about whether I could actually help people & make a difference in their lives, given such a general business degree from a foreign university.

Here I am, in the midst of worldly-obsessed unbelievers, trying to think & speak in a way that portrays my testimony of the person God made & chose me to be… & living to be used for greater good for Him… & I can’t even convince myself that this is possible. Negative thoughts were flooding my mind, not to mention the hazy-ness from being ill… How could I get a job in such a job scope, with a business degree? Ministry of Education didn’t even accept me… much less other social work organizations, which are already facing their own troubles & problems dealing with the media.

Yet, all I can do & cling onto… is hope that God knows my heart’s desire… & pray that if this is in congruent to His plan for my life… that He would soon give me a job that fulfills my heart’s conviction that compels me that it is more important to spend my days making a positive difference in people, than to spend my youth chasing after money & prestige.

My heart’s desire is that God would show & give me a job that would allow me to help others & be a strong positive testimony for Him. I want to make sure & work at bringing people to know Christ. This sounds like something awfully & unbelievably holy & self-sacrificial… & most indeed unrealistic in the eyes of Man, especially those who hold a totally opposite viewpoint from me.

Another question that I was asked was, “Do you want to be successful in your career? You know, at this age, you need to think about that, coz you would want to have plans to get married, have kids, pay for your house, looking after your parents, etc. It is our responsibility & more so a responsibility for the man.”

Believe it or not, I replied that success in my career isn’t important to me, at least not in view of what you are referring to. I didn’t elaborate much, coz I didn’t think that would understand anyway… especially when they were plainly more interested in rebutting my answers to their questions, than even pondering to consider the possibility of what I have said.

If I wanted to waste my saliva & sound like a fool to them, I would have said something like, “To me, success in my family is more important than success in my career. And success in the family isn't dependent on money alone. Of course, doing well in something is good & especially so for a career. But one has to discern the cost of doing so. For everything we do has a cause & cost. And that determines what & why we choose to do something, in hope to achieve a certain outcome at the end.”

Sounds philosophical, but it’s true & that’s my stand.

As expected, they went on to question me that money is important when you, your family members or parents fall sick… & earning enough is very important because of the rising standard of living in Singapore & the fact that salary doesn’t increase as fast as inflation, depreciation & cost of living…

Duh! As if I have never thought about these issues for countless times before! Especially so, after going for even more interviews after losing my job! It’s always the same basis which financial advisors, investment consultants & now sales people claim their actions upon.

All these probes made me feel like they are looking down on pure salaried jobs! I mean, what is this? They went on saying that Bill Gates makes so much money because he knows how to make the most money out of the least time… which means, expanding overseas… so that his 24 hours a day, becomes hundreds & thousands of hours in total in a single day, because so many Microsoft staff are working concurrently!

It sounded just as similar as my own Dad who, being sucked into such economic ‘philosophy’, said that times have changed & we need to make our money work harder than us… & when we are working, our money is working too.

Why is there so much mentioned about this word ‘MONEY’?!

I was very upset during the conversation, & even more so while reflecting on all that’s been said after I left the place. It really made me wonder if I’m the naïve one, or they are the misunderstood people. For the next hour or so, I was just so confused about who I am… why do I think like that… am I really being naïve… why are they so different from me… am I just thinking silly… what if they are right… would I really be able to live up to what I have thought & said… what jobs are there really out there for me… when would I really get a job that God intends for me… would I ever get into teaching… how much I stumbled upon the love to do Community Penetration (CP) work, especially with Rebecca being an encouragement & inspiration to me… how much I hoped to earn & save up for a good wedding & honeymoon, but don’t have the heart to do it the ‘sales’ way… what would Rebecca’s parents think of me, if I do such a job… why is everything just so sales related… how can there be so many smokers in the CBD… how terrifying it is to look up at all the tall office buildings coz they remind me of being squashed up in all this madness… how these skyscrapers remind me also about the Tower of Babel in the Bible that people strived to built…

Just endless thoughts… they just kept flooding my mind… & it didn’t make my headache from my flu any better. I was hungry too… coz it’s already past 5pm & I haven’t eaten throughout the day, coz no appetite from the illness…. Etc.

Oh yes, I remembered very strongly this question that one of them asked me, “You say that interest is important in a job. But would you do something of your interest for free? You wouldn’t, right?”

I replied, “It depends.” Just two words… & this was the moment where I shocked them the most, till their eyes all opened wide in pure shock & bewilderment at me. They just looked at me with such unbelief…

Then one of them asked, “Then what for you study a business degree?” He was also a business graduate from SIM, under the RMIT degree program, just like me. In fact, he was my junior… & also one year younger than me. It was just completely obvious that he thought I was crazy! Upon hearing my two words reply, he immediately shifted away from me in such shock, staring at me with big open eyes…

I replied that I couldn’t make it into the local universities, so I took up this degree program at SIM, hoping that at least it could get me a job, as compared to being without a degree. Thinking about it, I realized that it is only AFTER I graduated, that I realized that it is worse to have a degree in the wrong discipline, than not having a degree at all. Believe me, it’s true. How I wished I had used my parents’ money for a better reason or for a more worthwhile degree. Yet, I still hold to my belief that everything happens for a reason. And God knows my future.

Seriously, it can get REALLY scary at what one can think, strive & do, when any consideration about God is totally left out of the picture. Think about it.

And with regards to why I replied “It depends” when asked if I would do something of my interest for free… I mean, seriously… why not? It’s plain simple – it’s my interest! Isn’t it? Duh!

And there are a lot of more meaningful things to do, without having to get paid for it. Believe it or not, it’s when we don’t get something in return that we feel it’s more fulfilling to do so. And if we give of things which money can’t buy, that’s even more precious… coz people with all the money in the world can’t even buy it… & YET we can GIVE IT!

As long as I have a job, earn a decent living, save up to pay my bills & for my future, put some of my future earnings into investment accounts to earn interest (not speculating stocks & shares) & commit all that I do to God, I believe God will provide for me & my family’s needs. “For Man does not live on bread alone, but from every word that comes from the mouth of God.” And the other parables of Jesus just speak it so clearly… that our Heavenly Father knows what we need, even before we ask of Him.

It’s really difficult to even say this, but one of the thoughts that went through my mind during all that mind boggling convincing & psycho-ing from them, was that I would rather die earlier from not being able to pay high medical bills, yet having done many meaningful things in my lifetime… as compared to having not done, or done much less of these meaningful things & end up spending my hard-earned money, in the midst of severe illness, not for better beneficial reasons, except making that doctor rich.

And one thing I have learnt in my life – that when we have more, we would be tempted to want even more. And when we are used to having a lot to splurge, we would have much difficulty adjusting to having little, should the situation emerge.

They remarked in Mandarin, saying, “There’s no such thing as people who would grumble when they are given more money. If you have $50 million dollars & you see a $5 note lying on the floor, you would still pick it up, right?”

Wah, I tell you… I almost wanted to scream into their faces! True, it’s good to have money on your hands. But it’s also important how you got that money… & also how you spend it! For example, if you have a huge sum of money & you decided to buy a car. What happens is that you end up with the loss of that sum of money since you bought the car & end up having to pay more to use & maintain the car! So, unless you are very rich to afford it… mathematically, you actually get poorer because of what you bought!

And if I saw that $5 note lying on the floor, I would seriously just leave it there. Coz I would rather see the greedy rich man who picks it up… or leave it for someone who really needs cash to buy something or go home. That $5 could save someone’s life.

Seriously, if people as obsessed as them would want to speculate, decide & depend on the market factors of the economy, so be it. They can’t even control that, much less the environment that they live in. At most, they can only react to it. But as for me, I would rather trust & depend on the God who made all things.

Blasted Twice in a Day

Although not impossible to believe, it has never ever crossed my mind that I could get ‘blasted’ twice in a short duration of just 6 hours, in the same day, by two different companies.

In the morning, I returned a call to a lady at this company called Sports Marketing Group. It took five tries to finally reach her… but that’s not the real problem that really affected me. It was her attitude.

The evening before, she left a voice message in my hand-phone & told me to call her back tomorrow morning. She sounded very formal & professional over the phone & initially I had a very good impression of her & the company. When I finally managed to reach her, she un-cordially yet professionally thanked me for returning her call & immediately shot me one question very directly.

I’m not unhappy about her question nor find it unreasonable that she had asked. But it is her ‘very-soon-to-change’ tone of voice & attitude that annoyed me. Firstly, she threw that question straight in my face in a very strong tone of voice.

She asked, “Why did you apply for a sales job?” For a moment, I was taken aback. Yeah, I know the job title has the word ‘sales’ in it, but the full title is ‘Sales Management Trainee’. Furthermore, in my university education & at my first workplace StarHub, I learnt that sales & marketing goes hand-in-hand. Plus, I majored in marketing in my university undergraduate studies, so I applied for this job.

Thus, I asked to confirm that, “This company is ‘Sports Marketing Group’, right?” Almost immediately, I detected her change of tone of voice to somewhat of an irritation when she replied, “Yes, but this is a sales role.” To find out more, I asked, “How is the nature of sales like for this job? Is it like cold-calling, door-to-door or road-show kind of sales?”

I honestly feel that this is not a wrong question to ask, coz in my work experience as a temp doing outdoor sales, working in two different positions at StarHub, as well as chatting from friends in the line of sales, I learnt that there are many different kinds of sales jobs – road-show, door-to-door, outdoor, cold-calling, back-end, etc. Plus, I have personally done 3 kinds of sales so far – outdoor, door-to-door & back-end sales, though comprising slightly more than a year of experience, but I knew that there is a difference, so I decided to ask this lady.

But her tone of voice turned from irritation to plain annoyance as our conversation went on. She retorted that she won’t be going into these details yet, coz she wants to find out why I applied for this job.

So I went on to answer her question by saying, “I’m interested in sports & would like to establish a career in the area of marketing.” I don’t think there’s anything wrong with my phrasing of words so far… & I have managed to check & steady my tone of voice, even though I knew that she had become plainly annoyed at me.

Then she went on to say that this is a pure sales job, which means that it involves generating sales. In my mind, I was thinking, “Duh! Of course lah! Why do marketing (i.e. advertising) without any intention to generate sales from it?” But of course I didn’t say that.

She proceeded to ask me, “So comparing the two, which is your interest?” I replied that “Sports is one of my interests, but I would like to do marketing as a job.” I still don’t think there’s anything wrong in my replies so far…

In exasperation (yes, I literally mean this descriptive word), she said, “This company has two separate divisions… one division does sales & another division does marketing. So I think this is not the job that you are looking for.”

I knew what she was getting at… & perhaps this may have annoyed her further by asking again, “May I ask how is the nature of this sales role?” Yet, I still seriously didn’t think that it was wrong to ask, coz if it was back-end sales, I wouldn’t mind considering coz I have done it well before. It was all in the interest of finding out more about this job, coz ‘sales’ is not just one kind mah…

This time, she was really agitated & said, “I cannot supply you with this information unless it is a face-to-face interview.” There was a pause of about 2 seconds before she continued saying, “What I can do is to send over your resume to the marketing division & keep it there to see if there is any available position. But there are no vacancies at this point of time.”

I seriously really didn’t believe what she said, coz her tone of voice was just plainly blasting me in the face, telling me, “Just off the phone & stop wasting my time!” It was already getting very awkward & uneasy for both of us, so I said, “Its okay then, thanks a lot.” And we both put down the phone.

This experience with her over the phone hurt me quite a lot. I really don’t fancy getting blasted for asking relevant & important questions to clarify, so that I could better answer her questions! Who would?

I really felt as if she was psychologically screaming into my mind, “Why the hell did you apply for a sales job when you don’t even know why you want to do it?!”

I have seriously never met anyone who screamed so loudly into my mind before. Throughout our conversation, I felt as if there were more critical words being blasted into my mind, compared to the number of words that she actually spoke! And it wasn’t as if her tone was pleasant, or even neutral, given her attitude towards me. She sounded professional, but unpleasant!

Hey, I’m just one of the whole bunches of people out there applying to a job advert, which we think & hope may be suitable, so that we could get a decent job to earn a living. What’s with her attitude?

After some reflection, I began to notice one similarity about her & my ex-boss Gladys. Both of them are highly objective, assertive & strong in speech. Not that it’s bad or wrong, but I feel that such people are just interested in getting to the point, regardless of how their words come across to the other party. In short, once this lady concluded that I’m not the kind of person for this job, she just wants to put down the phone & stop wasting her time. I mean, that’s fine, considering that like everyone else, she’s probably very busy with her work, but the same concept applies, since she’s just as busy as everyone else, but everyone else isn’t rude & sarcastic towards me.

I will share my second experience in my next Blog entry…