My Changing Personality

A new job. A new change. This is how different I am, after one month of work in my new job at SNEF. Amazing, in fact, how I have changed in such a short time frame of one month. Either I’m a fast learner when it comes to this nature of work, or the work has really taken a place in the core of my life that it actually molds my personality.

Passion, my bosses call it? I don’t know… but I enjoy doing project work & I’m thankful that I have actually managed to catch a glimpse of how my work is meaningful to those senior individuals who are seeking employment… even despite this being crowded by lots of ploys, tricks & deception by the other ‘players’ out there.

In fact, my Mum told me that she heard me talking in my sleep this morning. And the topic was about work. Why am I not surprised? *Laugh*… but I need to keep this under control & not eat completely into my life. But it is important that work becomes part of my life, so that I can be committed in it, find some fulfillment & hopefully make a small handful of friends, while earning a decent living for me & my family.

How has my work influenced my personality? Well, due to the nature of how things are done & how people are in my kind of work, I have found myself to become more intoned to being discerning & careful towards people at work, & now spilling over to people outside of work.

Call it bad experience in the past or even certain encounters in this job, but the truth is that I’m no longer the same person that I previously was. Through some of these experiences in life, I found myself to be growing shaper & wiser, not as timid & afraid to say ‘no’, as I used to be weak in.

Quite obviously, I actually see myself becoming more assertive & confident. For those people whom I really treasure & hold their views strongly (such as close friends, family & my girlfriend), I would still let their presence & influence remain in my life. For those whom I relate to professionally as part of work, I will not hesitate to stand my ground (if I have to), so as not to be bullied or toyed around, like a person who lacks confidence in himself or naïve in the ways of this world.

This world is a harsh place & there are too few simple & nice people in this world, to allow myself to let my guard down & assume that those, whom I do not know, should be given a step of influence into my life. If it’s trust that these people need to earn, they had better prove themselves as trustworthy & able.

In other words, not anyone who smiles at you is your friend.

In my job, I am forced to learn how to see the bigger picture… & then the even bigger picture from that big picture. And I have to learn to do this in my mind, without letting others know it. If some are sharp to guess correctly, good for them. For those who are naïve or not aware, well… then they may probably have to learn it the hard way, when they encounter a situation similar to mine.

Once bitten, twice shy. Yeah, it’s true… & you don’t take this phrase seriously, you better think again. Or watch out, you may get bitten again… & turn out more shy, embarrassed or discouraged, than you previously were when first bitten.

Let me add another word of advice - Better still, don’t let yourself get bitten. Some mistakes are not worth repeating after those who have already made that mistake. If a mistake is made, we better make sure what we learn from it makes it worth the mistake. If not, be prepared for more hard knocks & slams.

Yeah, trusting people is not easy, especially now that I’m in this job. But I have learnt so much. I really thank God. I’m stronger & sharper from experiences in this job. Even for the pay reduction that I’m presently taking, as well as the 6 months of unemployment due to my ex-boss at StarHub, I still find this ordeal worth it.

To end this Blog entry, I’m glad that I feel reassured about this change taking place in me, from watching Rebecca’s Dad’s portrayal & manner of work, when I was back in StarHub in year 2004. He is soft-spoken, caring, helpful & committed in his work, while at the same time, being wise & sharp from his years of experience in the business world. Although he’s not of the same character as me, I believe that I can still be & act right in the workplace… & I encourage Rebecca to be so too.