Losing Intensity

I used to be a high strung and intensive person when I was in my younger school days till my early 20s. In other words, when I was still in school and in the Army. However, once I started work, I realized that my intensity dropped by a fair bit.

Perhaps it could be that the amount of stress and pressure can differ from each individual in school, as each learnt at his/her own pace… and how intensive one decides and commits to study and do projects for his/her own subject grade. This is very true as there are always very studious and hardworking students and others who are more slacked and rush to study only at the last minute.

This, however, does not apply to working life. Each individual is pushed to deliver results and there is little lee-way to procrastinate, as doing so will only impede work to be completed on time. Perhaps this is why my intensity level has dropped since I started work coz the level of pressure is determined by the nature and extent of ambition of the superior, as well as the consistent amount of stress and pressure that is draining on my heart and mind.

And with that, at times it is natural that the human body subconsciously pulls back, for a breather and in more severe cases, an attempt to escape reality by numbing the speed of transfer of information in one’s mind or slowing down one’s movements on the job.

I have noticed two general types of individuals. For Type A, this individual will fight to be in the thick of the action; raring to go and with added pressure, be able to push oneself to perform better than when the amount of pressure remains the same. For Type B, this individual takes a more progressive inclination, whereby improvements take place when the amount of pressure is carefully monitored and allowed ample time to adjust to it. Too little pressure would pose as a lack of challenge and opportunity to develop; yet too much pressure would become a hindrance to sustained motivation and self-learning.

I find that I am more of a Type B individual. Like a racing car, there are times when the car needs to make a pit-stop to refuel and change tyres for better traction and control. I am such a person; it is very clear to me. At times, I may subconsciously find myself pulling away from the pressures of my work… yet to me, this isn’t an indication of a lack of commitment, but perhaps indicating a need to re-assess my perspective and motivation in what I am doing. The job may not be a wrong job, but I guess regular checks of reflection to re-align my thoughts is necessary to stay in focus and do my best without going off the tracks.