Freedom of Association (3/3)

The third thing that has really made my upset since this early Monday morning - is about being misunderstood & wrongly accused by my colleague at work. Perhaps something may have triggered her anger & accusation towards me, but I still don't get why I should be dragged into this situation & have a finger or fingers pointed at me.

This incident was linked to the recent resignation of Carol, a temp staff in my department. Carol has officially held the record as the 1st temp staff who lasted less than 1 month in this company! But for whatever that had happened, I still silently admire her for her guts in pursuing what she really wants to do as her interest & her job. But of coz, there are more peaceful & better ways to resign... but oh well... I am sure it was a good learning experience for her...

By the 3rd week into the job, Carol felt that this job is bringing her nowhere, she couldn't stand the politics (actually I am quite sick of it myself after 19 months) & she disliked coming to work everyday, wondering what she will be doing &/or waiting for more mundane tasks to be passed to her to do. I must be honest, it pricks my heart too... when I hear my colleagues passing her work to do... work that they themselves do not want to do... if I were her, I would also feel that I am doing a 'shitty' job. Plus, she has to eat all by herself for 3 weeks, which is also quite lonely.

At the end of last week, Carol decided to call her staffing agency to tell them that she has decided to quit. When she asked if she needs to give advance notice, apparently (according to her), the staffing agency said it wasn't necessary coz she will already have paid the penalty of 2 weeks pay. So Carol drafted her resignation letter (with a little help from me & the internet, to give it a more professional look) & intended to pass it to my other colleague on Monday morning.

I was aware that she intends to resign from this temp job, but I didn't know that she will be resigning on the same day that she will be handing her resignation letter. It was quite a tense Monday morning for her, as she was contemplating when was the right time to hand it to my colleague. When I learnt that she wasn't giving any notice period, I was hesitant & cautioned her, but of coz it is ultimately between her & my other colleague. I didn't want to interfere too much, coz Carol was reporing to her.

It so happened that that colleague was busy that Monday morning & Carol was hesitant about 'dropping this bomb shell' on her. I would be just as anxious, if I were her. But I would give 1 week notice or something, to avoid getting into a fix, despite whatever the staffing agency said. Anyway, I was in a discussion with another colleague, when Carol messaged me, saying that the staffing agency called that colleague & she flew into a rage upon hearing this news! I mean, it was unfortunate that the staffing agency called, before Carol had the chance to talk to that colleague, but what to do... sometimes in life, such things happen.

Carol tried to explain that she had intended to tell that colleague, but she didn't want to interrupt & spoil that colleague's mood, while she was so busy & shock her with this bad news. I mean, it was considerate on Carol's part, but apparently that colleague got angry, brought Carol aside & scolded her, saying that its work, so its okay to interrupt her even though she is busy. Ok, so this clash occurred becoz of differing view of the situation.

I understand that Carol wanted to tell her personally, instead of just through an e-mail or SMS, which is more impersonal. I appreciated that thought of hers, though unappreciated by that colleague. Oh well, different people lah... if I were her direct supervisor, it would be a very different thing... maybe I am more composed than that colleague... or maybe I am more considerate towards others. In any case, its just a matter of differing opinions / views about how to handle this matter. Although some notice period would definitely be good...

The next time happened which shocked me - that colleague just barged into the meeting room where I was having a discussion with another colleague... & shouted, demanding to know why I knew about Carol getting a perm job & wanting to leave, yet didn't tell her. I said that I knew becoz Carol shared with me, as a friend, but I didn't know when Carol would actually be leaving & that she wasn't giving any notice period. That colleague shouted, "All of you knew about this, but none of you has the courtesy to tell me!" & stormed out of the meeting room. Both my colleague & I were stunned. I was affected & couldn't carry on briefing my other colleague coz I was very shakened at her strong words.

Why do I need to tell her? In the first place, I didn't even know when Carol is leaving! And Carol shared this with me as a friend, so why am I obligated to tell her what my friend confided in me? Like that, I had better not make any friends at work! Becoz if I make friends, then I will be expected to tell others what my friend(s) shared with me! This is ridiculous! Carol was very unhappy about this incident too. I am sure she meant well, though this matter could have been handled better.

Later that afternoon, that colleague brought me aside & scolded me again, saying something like, "I don't know what you have been telling Carol, but she doesn't respect me as her direct supervisor. You are leaving & she is reporting to me. And I don't know what bad things you have been saying about me to her, but please stop that." I was stunned. What bad things have I been bad-mouthing about her? Did I? No, I didn't! Where did she hear that from? And all the while, Carol was reporting to her, not me... plus, I specifically told Carol that she needs to tell that colleague coz I am leaving & I shouldn't be making this decision, even though I am the assistant manager. It was just unfortunate that the staffing agency called before Carol could tell that colleague...

So that colleague has been angry with me ever since & apparently, we have been avoiding each other's eye contact. Not that I wanted to, but what should I say to myself? That it is unfortunate that the temp staff & I became friends & she confided in me? No! Carol was a good friend to me, telling me jokes to cheer me up when I am feeling down, cutting Garfield cartoon for me & putting it on my desk when I was away on MC, letting me watch this DVD about this man born without arms & legs, send me inspiring worship songs, sharing with me about this Christian book titled 'Fourth Dimension', etc. Carol has been a good friend, what's wrong or bad about it? It's also my priviledge to have made this friend & I thank God for her... & I am sure if she is willing to be molded, God can use her mightily.

Oh well, this is how I stumbled upon my more recent lesson called 'Association'. People can be subjective by nature. If I am associated with someone who is regarded as doing bad things, then somehow or rather, I may get implicated if something bad happens. But should that stop me from making friends? No! I can't stop others from misunderstanding or accusing me... neither can I please everyone... & neither can I change everyone... so what should I do? Well, do what is true to my heart... continue to be sincere... try to be more forgiving... tolerant... & carry on with life... Whatever it is, I am still glad to have made friends with Carol... even if I could turn back time, I would still have done what I did...