Ponder... ponder...

I have been pondering about a lot of things lately. Not that I have not been pondering about things often throughout my life... but recently, there is just so so so much to ponder about. Maybe I'm beginning to understand some of the struggles which students do not face while in school. Afterall, for most of them in Singapore, many come from quite well-to-do homes & their main bulk of the time is spent in things related to school, especially those in their tertiary studies. Many of us just study & study... till we graduate... though some work at temp jobs along the way. Yet for many, study is just one of our biggest headaches in life...

Right now, 9 months after I graduated from university, I'm still stuck at my temp job at StarHub. Not that the environment or the people are bad... Its just that there is quite a lack of perm job opportunities. I hope the recent interview that I went for at StarHub would be successful... coz I really need a perm job. Its 'digusting' that temp staff do not get paid on public holidays & MCs. Don't we need to eat, take bus & survive on those days too?

I've come to the point where I'm just so irritated at the word 'Temp staff'. It just pricks me when a perm or contract staff utters "My temps...." I mean, what the? Its like they are treating us as dispensable people! Almost no value! Just needed at the meantime! Its like we don't have any place or belonging with the company. Feels like I don't have an identity at work. How to motivate staff to work better for the company, when the company don't even recognise them?

Oh well, life is never meant to be fair. In fact, it was never meant to be so, ever since the beginning of mankind. Favour & blessing seems like a very vague issue about life. I can't seem to understand how these work, even in the Christian life... I have been a depressive state for some months now & I still can't get out of it. Just feel too weak & down to pull myself out... or nobody is really helping me out. Hopefully Rebecca can do it, coz I just can't right now. Too many questions, too much unhappiness, too much worries, too little money & almost no motivation. Add anymore & I really don't know how to take it already... God, please help me... If You can hear & feel the struggles in my heart & mind... please... thank You... Amen.

Slick diver

Hahaha... this post is typed in response of what Rebecca typed about me in her blog. Both of us went swimming at Bedok Swimming Pool that Saturday afternoon. It was the first time in several years since I stepped into a public swimming pool...

It was a weird experience as I struggled to find out how to get in. Then after buying the entry card, I slot it into the machine & stood there wondering if the card would come out! And there was Rebecca telling me to quickly go through the machine gate. So funny...

When I went to change in the men's toilet, I felt that it was odd changing with several nude men around me. But then again, what's the problem... such thing is so common in the Army... its not my first time being in such an environment. So I changed & came out, with slight flabby thighs shaking as I walked. Not that I cared... I was waiting to get into the pool!

As the olympic pool was crowded with kids having swimming lessons, Rebecca & I waddled into the semi-olympic pool next to it. The water level was so shallow! Then Rebecca told me that nevermind lah, just swim. So I tried... but I felt like my legs could hit the ground coz of the shallow water & my arms swam so close to the ground that I could just walk with my hands! Argh...

After playing around in the pool, I managed to persuade Rebecca to go into the large pool. She complained that her swimsuit was quite see-through, but I told her nevermind lah... just quickly get in & don't act so obvious, then nobody would notice you.

Wow... I liked the big pool when I first got in! But Rebecca started to feel stressed by the large crowds swimming in the pool! But I loved it... though the water was salty & possibly dirty. But its ok, I seldom get to swim in a public pool anyway... but through this experience, I learnt to be thankful for my smaller yet cleaner & more peaceful home swimming pool.

With all the kids swimming across the pool & crashing into Rebecca, I had a remarkable idea of diving underwater till they passed. After Rebecca recovered from all the knocks, she noticed a person swimming calmly & cooly underwater... She wondered who is this smart alec... & then she saw... it was ME! Hahahaha...

I really enjoyed myself that afternoon... even went into the toilet, bathed, changed & came out in less than 9 mins! Why? Coz I wasn't wearing anything in the common shower area... so quickly bathe lor.

Two sides of 'Alfie'

Last evening I watched the movie 'Alfie' with my best buddy Sean. It was a terrible rush to get to the cinema on time as I had to rush quite a lot of last minute work before leaving the office. Such unpredictability of timing at times. While waiting for me to arrive, Sean finished up 1/3 of the whole big box of popcorn! So funny, the way he looks when hungry...

Anyway, we go into the movie theatre on time, just before the show started. Sean told me that it was a comedy, but somehow my gut feeling told me that I didn't think so. But oh well, the movie just started, so I shan't jump to conclusions so quickly.

As the movie went on, I realised why it was rated M18. There were two particular scenes that showed a naked woman. Thus, making it two naked women in total for the entire movie. I thought to myself, oh well... its another of those not so 'healthy' shows. But nevermind, since I didn't choose to movie & I paid for it, might as well just watch it & try not to get any 'wrong' ideas.

What's interesting about this show is the lead actor 'Jude Law' made it quite interactive; in the sense that he actually talks to the audience (i.e. us) occasionally throughout the show. It seemed like the first time that I'm watching such an interactive movie & I actually enjoyed it!

Jude Law acted as 'Alfie' (aka Alfred) in this movie. He is portrayed as a loose guy who goes around charming many women & bedding them, regardless of their age. Sounds like an unwholesome show, huh? But wait... after all these scenes have passed, the movie began to portray how such activities (knowingly or unknowingly) slowly creeps into his life & consumes him. Things started to fall apart, especially after an unwanted pregnancy.

Then I began to see the 'real stuff' that made this movie such a reflective show to me. I began to see his emotions, his hurts, his struggles, his pain, his sorrow, his past... all creeping inside him. It really pricked my heart when the man who married this woman that Alfie had slept with, gave him this unforgettable look on his face. That was it... it was the turning point of the show & I began to see how this movie could 'speak' to many out there who lived such lives. Alfie's experiences of hurts grew & grew. It was so moving to me...

The last scene of the movie portrayed a short scene of reflection by Alfie & ended with him asking a question which I believe & hoped would speak to all who watch this movie. Indeed, this is a great show. Similarly to 'Bruce Almighty' in a sense... but distinct in its own way...

Friendship of the shell-backs

Hmm... Terry & Jacey have become friends! Now they do almost everything together, including rushing for a piece of turtle stick which I dropped into the water. Initally, they just rushed to beat each other to that piece of little brownish food. Now they claw, push & swim below or above each other, just to reach it. Well... that's when they are hungry lah... & guess what? I have even taught Jacey how to bite the turtle stick from my fingers! I did that 3 times consecutively & Jacey bit it from my fingers both while swimming as well as on land. Interesting... She's really an interesting fella...

I just love the way they swim around happily after I have just changed the water. Somehow its like I could feel the increase in happiness in them! Hahahaha... they are fun little creatures & I adore them. Rebecca's terrapins have grown to quite a large size. I wonder if mine would grow that big too. Hmm...

Getting accustomed

Recently, there has been some interesting happenings between my terrapins & I. Let me begin with the positive aspects first.

(1) Both terrapins have started eating. In fact, they have gone past the stage of starting to eat. They have begun to snatch, scratch, push & grab for their food! Their appetites have grown quite a bit too, each eating up to 5 - 6 turtle sticks a day. I hope they are not over-fed...

(2) Both have adjusted very well to their somewhat aquatic environment. To further emphasize this, let me also say that despite changing the water, these green shellbacks get quickly accustomed to their environment the second they are put back into the tank! Very good... very good... *Applause*.

(3) Both have begun developing a bond between themselves. In fact, just two nights ago, they slept one on top of the other! How they can balance & don't fall, I really have no idea. But that's not really the issue. The point is that they are now comfortable with each other. In the past, they used to swim at different corners of the tank, as well as one sleeping on the wood & the other sleeping underwater. So, this is so much of an improvement! Hurray!

As for the negative side of this matter, well...

(1) Both have grown into rather hungry terrapins. In fact, they seemed to have mis-interpreted my hand signals & perceive it as an indication of their feeding time! Oh dear... I initially intended it to be an action to help them recognise their owner (i.e. me), but now it seemed to have turned otherwise. Now when I wave at them, these shellbacks will pop their heads out of the water in search of food, from where my hand is placed. Does that mean that they care more about food than the establishing a bond between owner & pet? Or should I regard this as just an incomprehensible 'gap' of understanding for these terrapins?

(2) Terry's claws are beginning to grow long & sharp! When I carry him now, sometimes it may hurt a little when his claws dig into my skin. But so far still alright, I'm getting used to it. Just that I fear how these little fellas would behave when they grow larger. Would their claws poke my palm or fingers?

Well, these are some of the observations that I have noticed within the past 2 - 3 days. In fact, I'm glad that my terrapins get accustomed rather quickly. Thinking about it, one thing that may give me satisfaction from keeping them, as compared to fishes is this - terrapins bother to look at me & observe me, just as I observe them. In short, at least these kept pets bother to pay some attention to me! Fishes, on the other hand, just swim around & literally only eat. They don't even bother about their owner at all, unless they sense danger.

Thus, I feel that rearing terrapins give me more satisfaction than keeping fishes. My terrapins are kind of 'cute' sometimes... they would let me rub their heads, occasionally their chin & even their forelegs. I scrub their shells every few days too, to prevent algae from growing on it, possibly causing diseases. I still like the way they peer out of the water & look at me. Or they would cling onto the wood with just a few claws & look around. They are just naturally born bodyguards! Even in a kept tank, they are so alert... good for them, in case they are eventually let loose in the wild.

Rebecca's finger got bitten by one of her terrapin this week, but she said that there is no blood. Just a slight pinch. Mine hasn't bitten me yet... YET... but I certainly hope they never do. Lesson to learn? Feed them before displaying affection to them. My terrapins are well fed, no doubt about that. That's one point down... =)

Tomorrow's Saturday! Maybe I'll drop them some meat for their breakfast tomorrow. I did that last Saturday too. Dropped them a few crumbs of minced meat from my noodles. Boy, do they enjoy chewing on it! Wow! Let's see what treat I shall have for them tomorrow... Wait in anticipation, my 'turtles'!

'Heal the World'

I'm listening to the MIDI song titled 'Heal the World' sent by Rebecca. The lyrics are very long, yet very meaningful if we take it into perspective. In this song, it describes the struggles that people go through during their tough times. Like everyone else, I'm also a person with my own struggles.

Listening to this song makes me feel sad coz it makes me think how sad people in this world can be. As a result, many begin to chase after things which they think would satisfy their unhappiness or boredom; only to discover that it soon becomes an endless chase for things which only bring temporary satisfaction. Or maybe I should refer to it as temporary 'distraction'. Afterall, some indulge themselves in drunkedness, so as to forget their problems. Others eat a lot with the hope of easing themselves from their stresses of life.

How do we find fulfilment & satisfaction in life? For those who do not believe in any religion, they may turn to a lifestyle of ultimate freedom... afterall, life is short, so why should they hinder themselves from complete enjoyment of anything that pleases them?

How about those who believe in a God? Some go to their god(s) because they seek safety, health, possessions, a career to be desired, etc. I don't know a lot about all these religions to add on any further. Yet it seems clear that many (even in their young teenage years) are seeking after a meaning in life.

How about Christians? Well, we believe in seeking out our answers through God's Word (i.e. the Holy Bible). But how often has it come to mind (especially when feeling depressed or lonely) that a book simply doesn't seem enough? It is a book that is supposed to give life (not as in staying alive & breathing), but how many actually find 'life' in this book? Maybe sometimes... but there are times when we wonder why God left us a book to read & expect something to happen from black & white printed words. I don't know about others, but I do struggle with that.

As a Christians, we are told to be the 'light' to the world. But how often do we struggle to keep 'aflame'? Even for a fire to stay aflame, it needs oxygen & a igniting object (e.g. oil, kerosene, etc). So in our case, what are our catalysts that allow to stay aflame? The Word of God? Well, that's true... yet how come it doesn't always work? Is it because of hearts are not right? But when will our hearts to be right enough? It doesn't seem to be something that can be measured. In fact, it sounds kind of vague to me...

Oh well, I'm occasionally in quite a depressive mood about things. Where is the spark in my life? Where can I find my required catalysts for the spark? On days when I think that I sin more than usual, well... that's fair enough... maybe God isn't happy to answer my prayers or sooth my unhappiness. What about those days when I make a diligent effort to refrain from the number of sinful occurances in that day? Do I feel better or feel that God's presence is with me? Not so... In fact, it seems that emotions can sometimes play tricks on us. Yet, as humans, we can't disregard emotion, coz that's what makes us human.

You see, that's the whole point - trying to be more Christlike, while struggling in our human nature... coz we are human! How to do so? Just pray & sin less? And even if we do that, does that mean that things would get better for us? But that doesn't make us less human, right? So how can we ever escape from this struggle? Well, my answer is that we can't... ever. We are stuck being human, yet striving to imitate a Christlike behaviour. Definitely not an easy task. In fact, I don't we will ever reach accomplishment of this task, coz its never possible to be on par with the Almighty. So how? I really don't know... just continue 'swimming'... just like fishes do... swim until their time is up...

Well, until I find another revelation to this issue, I'll just have to stick to this unhappiness for now...

Getting to know you

Wow... Looking at them, I can't help but realise that these baby terrapins are still little! Its so amazing to watch them wonder their way about, stretching their necks, peering to the left & to the right, yawning (or burping, I can't tell the difference), frantic swimming, floating motionless underwater, blinking their eyes, scurrying off the wood, sticking their head out of the water & pulling back all their limbs when asleep.

And guess what? Little Terry (Yup, I gave him a name) does even more! He's the intelligent terrapin that explored various ways to climb this wood, observing me (on the wood) while I clear my table, as well as learning to grab food with its claws & chew it! Its so cute... sometimes he even wipes its mouth (& sometimes eyes or face) after eating! This fella really knows how to yawn... Always yawn with a huge big mouth! Not shy at all... So cute... =)

Today I taught Terry to recognise me, when I show him hand-signs... somewhat like sign language. Firstly, I taught him to recognise that's me (& not anyone else in the family) by waving my index finger up & down. I practiced doing it a few times, whenever I pass by the tank. Initally, Terry would sense someone approaching & scurry into the water, paddling furiously. After I have spent hours (yesterday & today) just watching & smiling at him, he soon got used to me.

I think the turning point was when I changed the water this afternoon. Like I said before, this is a very intelligent terrapin. I would guess that most creatures would be afraid when they are taken out of the water, while the owners change the tank. Maybe they don't know that the owner is changing the water for them. So, both my terrapins were afraid when I took them out. However, when I have changed everything & put them back into the clean water... Wow... you can see the difference! They really appreciated the clean, clear water! After that, he just stared at me whenever I watched him. No longer did he scurry away. Perhaps he has learnt that I took him out for a reason... for whatever reason he may not know, but for a good reason... since now he has cleaner water to live in. Thus, after this incident, he wasn't afraid of me anymore! =)

The second hand-sign that I taught Terry was to show him an upright index finger whenever he struggled when I picked him up. When he struggled hard, I would look at him intently & say "Umm!" while showing him the upright index finger. I think this hand-sign made him focus on my finger that was close to his face & he stopped struggling. Not just once, but for a few instances, this worked. Little Terry is learning... He's a smart terrapin... Really... I'm glad to have him around.

Terry has gotten more used to me by the late afternoon. After shaking my index finger in front of him, I slowly move my finger closer to him, trying to touch his head. At first, he withdrew & wanted to dive back into the water. So I move my finger closer, then moved it away. After awhile, I tried it again & pulled away before getting too close. After a few times, I moved closer, then closer... till I gently touched his head for a split second, before moving away again. I repeated this a few times at separate intervals & soon he allows me to touch his head, without drawing away. By night time, he's quite accustomed to me... I even touch his nose & mouth sometimes. Just stroke a little bit, then move away. He didn't draw back anymore... Yeh! =)

Little Jacey is [presently] much different from Terry. Yup, she's the female terrapin. Jacey is still very afraid of me. Even when she peers out of the water & see me watching or touching Terry, she still scurries away into the water. So far, I've only managed to establish a few seconds of eye contact with her. She's still very cautious & would wake up at almost every slight sound or jerk of the tank. After 2 days, she still refuses to eat (or at least I haven't seen her eating). Its a bit worrying, but I can't force her to eat, except to drop some turtle sticks & hope that she discovers that its food & at least try to swim towards it (before taking a bite). Most of the time, Jacey stays below the water & even takes naps underwater. I have only seen her sleep on the wood once, when I was out for the entire night for Sylvester's birthday. Both of them looked very cute, all curled up asleep on the wood.

Then again, its not that Jacey isn't responding... just that she's very afraid of many things... even when I drop a turtle stick, she would swim away. Now she spends most of her time below the piece of wood, where I allowed a short passage for underwater (& under the wood) swimming. Jacey loves this spot, I don't know why. Terry prefers to swim around the tank & busk himself on top of the wood.

Terry & Jacey are also different in other ways. Although Terry is very good at exploring many ways & areas of climbing the wood, he's struggles in climbing up the wood. Jacey, on the other hand, although only knowing how to hold on (not climb up) from two sides of the wood, is quite a strong climber! She doesn't even struggle when gripping onto the wood! I have seen her clinging on with one paw! Tremendous amount of strength, I would say! =)

So far the turtle sticks are working out quite alright. At least Terry recognises it as food, although I'm not sure if Jacey recognises it, or she's still afraid to eat. Just today, I dropped in a tiny piece of minced meat from my fishball noodles. Wow! At once, Terry was there, munching at it! I'm not sure if I saw correctly, but I think I saw a glitter in his eyes as he tasted the saucy minced meat, which definitely tasted much better than the turtle sticks. Wow... I still remember how Terry rushed at it & such tiny delight shone from his eyes!

I tried to feed a bit more, in small sizes... Terry ate a little more, before he was full & swam away. Sadly, Jacey still doesn't want to eat, although I was glad that she noticed Terry chewing on the minced meat. She actually went forward, as if to smell... but Terry pushed her away, before she could attempt a bite. I dropped more minced meat at the other end of the tank, but Jacey still didn't eat. I wonder if the sauce of the minced meat would make it more appetizing for them...

Goodnight, Terry & Jacey... I'm going to sleep soon. Got to work tomorrow... I hope she gets some rest while I'm away at work. They are an interesting bunch! Indeed, even creatures have their own personalities... =)

'Turtle' confusions

At last, I managed to own two terrapines of my own! Yup, I had waited for this moment for quite some time. During my period of 'dilemma' (of whether to buy the terrapins), I had gone through quite a tedious process of finding out the eventual answer to this question.

Apart from the occasional Internet research on rearing terrapins (apparently, there aren't many articles on this kind of amphibian), a one-evening visit to Marine Parade library (after work), two occasions of watching & playing with Rebecca's terrapins at her home, a few instances of persuading my Mum... what was most stressful, was having to struggle with the thought of whether to keep these creatures & whether my home is a conducive place to keep them. There were several thoughts that went through my mind. For example, how many should I keep? What would happen to them when my whole family is out during the daytime till evening? Would I get bored of them after awhile?

In addition, the most perplexing problem that haunted me - What would happen to them when they grow into adult size? My home definitely doesn't have enough space for them to move & live. If I'm not able to keep them, where can I put them? Would I feel sad? Is it legal to leave them at some pond or river? Are they able to take care of themselves, after being domesticated & fed for a few months or years?

I have finally taken the brave step of buying two terrapins, one 'quite-big' fish tank, one small bottle of turtle sticks & one solid piece of wood. Of course, that was after I managed to explain, persuade & convince my Mum, after adopting a calm, rational & fair approach in speaking to her. Within a few minutes, she agreed. I guess some people just need to be persuaded in a diplomatic tone.

Anyway, I bought these two little 'fellas' from a pet shop named 'Sunshine Art' near Rebecca's home. Quite a strange name for a pet store... & quite a strange owner or shop attendent along with it. This man doesn't look like a pet-shop owner. In fact, I seriously wonder how much does he know about terrapins. While in the shop, I whispered to Rebecca, saying that I probably know more about terrapins than he does. I was just asking him a few questions to confirm what I've researched earlier. Apparently, this guy was very hesistant & vague in his answers. I guessed he doesn't know much about terrapins. Maybe he just sells them... but I don't think its a responsible way of selling living creatures. What if the buyer doesn't know how to take care of these living creatures? That's so unfortunate for these little shell-backs...

This guy sprayed a mist of oxygen into the plastic bag which he put both terrapins in. Of course, there was some water inside the plastic bag. After sending Rebecca home, I was so afraid that the oxygen would be used up! I was also very afraid that the plastic bag would burst because this guy put it next to the piece of wood! Oh yes, it was quite sharp at some of its edges! I stood at the roadside, hoping to flag a cab to quickly take me home. I didn't want to bring home two suffocated terrapins. A $4 - $5 taxi fare cannot be compared to the lives of two terrapins!

No taxi came, so I had to board the bus 14 that came along. I held the plastic bag very close to me throughout the bus journey, protecting it from bursting or anything that could possibly hurt my new pets. It was quite a cute experience, holding them next to me, yet lifting the plastic bag high enough so that they can view the passing scenery while swimming in the plastic bag. I knew they were tired, so I was quite desperate to get home to let them rest from all that swimming. I felt quite worried, as they had been swimming for nearly an hour since I bought them! Worse still, the bus was jerky & the terrapins kept colliding against the plastic bag. Passengers who got on & off the bus looked at me, of course... but throughout the duration, I was smiling... I had finally 'found' some pets to keep me from being lonely in my room.

My adventures were not over yet. Soon after I reached home, I quickly opened the tied plastic bag & heaved a huge sigh of relief! Please breathe little fellas! I was glad that they had 'fresher' oxygen again. I'm still quite curious - how long could one spray of oxygen last these two terrapins?

Anyway, my next biggest & most important task is arranging the layout of the fish tank. I still can't believe that I actually spent about 1 & 1/2 hrs, just trying out different arrangements of the wood. This piece of wood is important because terrapins also spend a considerable amount of time out of the water. Well, at least these 'fellas' also need to rest or take a nap. Positioning this piece of wood is crucial because it must be adequately, yet partially submerged in water. Also, it must be positioned such that the terrapins are able to climb up & down, in various corners of the wood. Btw, a newspaper article stated that terrapins can drown, if they are not able to find ground to rest.

After finding a good way to place the wood, I soon realised that it was too low to accomodate 10cm of water for the terrapins. I had to raise the wood by some way. So there I was, trying various objects to raise this oddly-structured piece of wood. I tried using sponges, but it wouldn't work coz it would float when immersed in water. After some search, I settled for a plastic container, but it would also float despite trying to stick it to the tank floor using blue-tack, then trying a black heavy-duty scotch tape to hold it down. Both methods failed because tapes wouldn't stick long in water.

Then a sudden thought came to my mind. Aha! I could use the coloured pebbles from the cactus that Rebecca gave me some years back (Yes, its still alive & growing huge). This time it worked & the plastic container sank to the bottom, allowing me to position the wood in the best position possible, after some trial & error of adjustment. So there! My tank is not relatively conducive for my new pets! Of course, they took almost half a day, just trying to get used & wonder around the new environment. In fact, it took them 2 - 3 hrs, just to move out from their corner, after trying to escape as far as possible from me. Indeed, rearing pets can be a test of patience as they would try to escape or avoid you in the early beginning. Yup, its a test of patience.

I haven't given them names because I want to observe more of their personality before deciding. One of the terrapin only took a bite after many hours of getting used to the tank. The other has not eaten at all. But I'm still glad that within a day, one terrapin has gotten used to wondering around the tank, taking occasional bites of turtle sticks & even daring to climb up to relax on the wood! In fact, this little 'fella' even explored almost all possible ways of climbing up the wood, within a single day! Honestly, I'm very impressed! This is a smart terrapin... It has even discovered ways to climb edges that I initially perceived as quite impossible to scale this wood. Amazing... even for a baby of this size... =)

Chamelon...

I just had lunch with a very interesting lady from StarHub. This is the first time that I'm having a meal with a director (yup, I told her that over lunch). It was pretty scary at first, especially when all of the sudden, I received a call in the middle of my work! Before I picked up the phone, I was wondering whether it could be a prospective employer calling me. Then I realised that... no... It was Chua Soon Tzer, channel sales director at StarHub.

I never saw that side of her, even though I met her several times near the restroom, as well as the lift area. It started out quite odd, coz she was like an elder sister to me, being 7 - 8 years my senior. But I thought back to my office, where a whole bunch of girls were also about 7 - 8 years younger than me... then I didn't feel too bad.

Soon Tzer is a very, very high achiever. She's very results-oriented, pushes herself to the best & max at what she does in her job. She was even head-hunted for her 2nd job at MCI (whatever company that stands for). That reminded me of Gordon, who was also head-hunted by SIA. I wondered... how does it feel to be head-hunted? Even for Soon Tzer, her head-hunted salary was like 2 - 2.5 times of her salary! I don't even want to imagine what kind of figure she's drawing as her monthly salary. Really... I don't want to imagine...

Yet, one of the things that she said made me discover a possibly truthful side of her. I say that because it may be too quick to judge her, just based on our first lunch together. Anyway, she said that money can't buy happiness & I totally agree with her. In fact, there are many things in life that cannot be bought with cash.

Uncle John later warned me that I should be careful about human chemistry. I told him that there won't be any liking for each other, since we are like 7-8 years of age apart. Still, he told me to be cautious about relating too closely with a person of the opposite sex. Well, maybe this could be linked to the point that Uncle John told me before - that I must be careful about being too friendly with people. They may exploit you over time or it may be difficult to be assertive after being too friendly with them.

Hmm... I'll bear that in mind. No harm being extra careful with people whom I rarely know. It takes time & opportunity to really know people anyway. I'm still quite new in the working world... just about 5-6 mths of employed work since I graduated... so let every experience be a learning opportunity for me.

Destruction of all things

Yup, as the title states - there is a possibility of all things being destroyed, be it by flood, tsunami, earthquake, lightning, greater heating from the sun (depleting ozone layer), etc. To make things worse, mankind has introduced the not-too-recent 'concept' of terrorism into this world.

Its sad to realise that all things that mankind has worked for can be destroyed by the natural forces of this world. Nothing can stand in the way of the will of God, who created nature & controlled it till this day & till the end of this Earth. There is so much that we do not know, not even the planets & systems in the outer rims of space. Man's knowledge is so limited, yet we think that we are capable of doing & achieving a lot of things, on our own. This could be possibly why God has allowed such natural disasters (in fact, since the every early days of this Earth) to demonstrate that none can compare to Him.

He is a powerful God trying to bring home the point that man & all that we work for is destructable. A whole village in Thailand that took over a decade to build, could be destroyed by ONE tsunami wave in a few minutes. This really confirms that fact that all that we work for (or for some of us, slave for) can be gone in a mere instant. Indeed, as the Bible as clearly stated, there are things that we can work for & spend our lives working for, that won't perish. Things like sharing the priviledge, joy & acceptance of eternal life. Doing good in the lives of others. Filling ourselves with the knowledge of God & spending time relating & knowing Him. These are just some of the things that we can work for, that would last for eternity.

Why do man think about death? Or even fear death? Or even consider what happens after death? It is because we are made with the 'idea' of looking towards eternity. We were not made for Earth, but for something more... another place... This place is just a preparation stage for our future elsewhere. Its like a child growing in the mother's womb, for a short few months, only to be released into the real world, which isn't what we can imagine while living in our mother's womb.

The conscience of a buyer

What does it mean to have a conscience of a buyer? This question has been raging in my mind after the shopping experience that I had with Chai Joo this afternoon.

As usual, it was a normal lunch out together. Over lunch, Chai Joo shared that he had a colleague from the Marketing department who has an offer to get a 21-inch Hitachi pure flat screen TV at $255! I thought that it was quite a good offer because both Harvey Norman & Best Denki is selling the exact same model at $399 retail price. So technically, we would save about $150 through this 'inside' StarHub dealer connection. Still wondering whether I should buy... My Mum said go ahead, but I'm still considering... Hmm...

I was trying to listen in while Chai Joo was enquiring from the Harvey Norman sales person. Indeed, I discovered that there are ways of enquiring about things, without giving away your actual intention of asking. Its like a fascinating conversational skill to me. Something tricky, yet... useful?

It came to mind how strategic it can be, even to be a buyer in the business world. I'm not even going into buyer-seller business relationships, etc. This is purely an intention to purchase a simple economical TV set. Yet, there seems much into it... Like I said, it feels pricky & tricky... yet... Aiyah, I really don't know how to classify it.

The buyer wants (hopes) to get the best deal from a promotional deal / offer. Some go to much great extent to enquire & 'dig out' the best avenue to purchase an item. On the other hand, businesses also go to large extents, trying to get the right & hopefully best channel of distribution to purchase something. Its really like one party trying to bite off as much as they can from another party, at the expense of something else, even a peaceful conscience. Yet in the process, one does learn how to 'cut corners' & get around the 'rules' of the business / market place. Its really like learning to be screwd, though the Bible does include that, plus an additional aspect of being innocent as doves. What a contradiction! At this moment, I really can't figure this all out...

An interesting office experience

Finally! I get to write my blog... Hmm... Today has been quite an eventful day, with several odd incidents happening to me.

The day started quite usual... me being bored staring at my PC screen & doing routine data-entry, and also as usual, wondering what mindless work this can be. I mean what kind of impact am I creating just sitting at my desk entering data? Anyone can do that, so why me? I'm sure God has given me more 'gifts' to enable me to do more effective work for Him... So the thoughts go on as usual... nothing really new... just usual thoughts...

But our God is an interesting God (sometimes). Out of the blue, this e-mail came in. It was from Lau Chai Joo. He is a nice colleague & friend of Rebecca's Dad. I got to know him through Uncle John too. After having several lunches together, I have recently grown to be able to carry out a casual & relaxed conversation with him, all on my own. So... basically the e-mail was sent by him because he need help to take down the office Christmas decorations. The temp staffs in his department are super slack & refused to help him. So he approached me for help & Uncle John decided to help too.

I thought it was merely taking down decorations on a Christmas tree & maybe some decorations hanging on the wall... but woe & behold... no no no... I was gravely wrong. There was no Christmas tree... but there were quite several of those shiny 'pong pong-like' decorations hanging from ceiling to ceiling of each office space! Wah... I had to climb up & down a shaking & cranky ladder just to take them down. Then our worst obstacle - to take down a 'super-powered' sticker that was stuck to a big board! This sticker stated, "StarHub weakest link competition", but it proved to be the strongest 'link' between our pulling arms & the board surface! So there we were tearing at the sticker... It was rubberised & VERY difficult to tear apart, despite Chai Joo using a pair of scissors to rip it apart by pieces. Uncle John was having a very tough time... but I was fully enjoying it! I have never seen him struggling so hard before & it proved quite a sight to watch him, while I was also struggling like a bull-wrestler. Just that in that case, the bull is moving... & this 'bull' isn't...

To me, it was a great experience because it made me realise how GREAT a temper & anger releasing activity it could be! It made me think about of my old school days when I got angry often & vented my anger on things. I used to punch the classroom notice board till there was a hole in it... I kicked & broke the class blackboard metre rule... I punched the tree trunk bark until my fists bled, etc. Weird stuff that I used to do. Or merely to sprint as hard as I can to vent out all my anger, till I stopped, panting & panting. Thus, the silly things that I used to do when young.

At the end, Chai Joo saw a plastic bag containing StarHub caps & 2 compact binoculars, so he gave them to Uncle John & I. So both of us took one binoculars each. Its a very good quality & powerful binoculars, so I decided to give it to my brother as his birthday gift. Afterall, I did work hard physical labour for it. Not that I earned it, but oh well... I thought that he might like it since he occasionally watches soccer matches at the stadium. And thank God... he likes it! =)

Our interesting God also allowed me meet with this StarHub 'channel sales director' - Chua Soon Tzer. She's a very friendly lady & joked with me about me going to buy lunch for her, as she needed to go for a meeting soon. You know lah, directors can be quite busy people... & probably people who earn big bucks, while people like me earn not even the scraps from the StarHub CEO's table. Anyway, she's a nice lady so I took the courage to strike a short casual conversation with her. Later I sent her an e-mail, expressing my thankfulness for having met her through the taking down the Christmas decorations. She corresponded over e-mail for a few times. I was surprised that a director would even bother to chit-chat with me over e-mail! When I shared with Uncle John, he warned me & said to be careful as getting too friendly with people could result in them keeping asking me to do things. At that instant, I realised how foolish I was... just happy to meet a friendly person & start a friendship, not heeding any boundaries, until Uncle John told me. I am now thankful to him & would be more careful in future. I thank God for him...

Over lunch, Chai Joo shared with us that we can actually persist & not pay any credit card subscription charges, since the credit card company already earns 2 - 3% of total sales from each merchandiser. Of course, by right we ought to pay, but he taught me & Uncle John to 'chiam-siong' or negotiate for a better deal. If not, we would 'threaten' to cancel the card & apply from another credit card company. Its a good tip, though one has to be very convincing & convicted before speaking to the person over the phone.

Uncle John also shared that some banks call up & try to 'con' or convince you into putting more money into their bank. In his case, the credit card company 'Visa' called to TELL him that he needs to top-up more money in his savings bank account. Uncle John thought to himself & realised that he didn't need to, because using a credit card has nothing to do with how much he puts into his savings account. Besides, he pays his credit card bills, so he doesn't see why he needs to top-up more money. How much he chooses to save is entirely up to him, isn't it? So it was another lesson to me - that I need to be careful about what others say. These experiences taught me to be more street-wise. I thank God for these two colleagues... =)

While walking to the bus stop to take the bus home, a surveyer kept asking me to answer a few survey questions. At first, she asked me whether I would have the time to answer 4 short MCQ-like questions. So seeing that it was so short, I agreed. Then I realised that she was asking more & more, leading to me having to open two lucky draw cards. The first one was nothing & I didn't win anything. The second was... the top prize! ARGH! For the first time in my life, I actually won a lucky draw! Argh! My mind was about to blow, even though I didn't show it at all. It was free hotel accomodation at any of the 9 countries to choose from, for up to 2 adults & 4 children. I can't remember how long was the accomodation given. However, airfare & transportation costs were not included. But that's not the point. The point is that I have won a lucky draw for the first time in my life! But there was a 'catch' to it... I had to go upstairs to their office to listen to a 80 mins talk about travel packages & stuff.

The girl (secondary school girl) kept telling me that there were only 5 of such top prizes each week & she was SO EXCITED because I had just anyhow won the top prize! I told her that I needed to rush off for my brother's birthday, but she pleaded with me because if I attend the talk, I would get these free hotel vouchers (valid for one year, which is very good), plus she would get $100 commission. So okay lah... I agreed...

Going upstairs, I realised that in order to qualify (I thought I had qualified already) for the prizes, I had to fake that I was 25 - 26 years of age & above. I told her that I was older than 24 already, but she said that it had to be according to my birth date. So that was the first lie that I had to say. Then I had to lie that I'm single & not attached with a girlfriend at all (I already told her that I had a girlfriend when I answered her survey!). Then I had to lie that my credit card is not a supplementary card, but my own personal credit card. THEN, I had to also lie that my BASIC salary is $2.5K & above. THEN, I had to lie that my position was an admin executive, because my honest reply of admin support assistant would not qualify such a salary. THEN, I had to also lie that I shop & spend at least $100 at Orchard Road every month. In my head, I was thinking - what the %^&&%##$^??? Why must lie about so many things?!

And guess what... after taking down my particulars, she told me that I had to lie that I had forgotten to bring my IC because I was supposed to be 26 years old & above to qualify! I was quite pissed off already. Later I realised that they needed to verify my IC, so I had to come back another day. I was glad to leave after being held up for 1/2 an hour. I had to bring another person who is 25 - 26 years of age & older. That's crazy, how many people would do that for me? Of course, I won't be going back there again. *Sigh*... what an experience...

Many worlds apart

Tonight, Rebecca & I watched the movie 'Phantom of the Opera' at Lido cinema. I was surprised to notice her cry for the masked character. Let me just share my thoughts about this movie...

Firstly, from an artistic perspective, I would definitely give this movie a 9 upon 10. It is a terrific movie production filmed in a musical setting. Even the filming of the background scenery had, in its sense, an artistic outlook to it, amazingly portraying the emotions of the environment around. The singing voices were very impressive & the song 'Music of the Night' is still playing in my head.

However, I'm not an artistic kind of person, I don't have much interest in the arts & neither do I grow up in such a family background. So, in other words, it is difficult for me to comprehend or appreciate such western culture. Likewise, those who are used to listening to Chinese opera or 'wayang', would similarly find it difficult to appreciate this aspect of that culture.

Thus, I found this movie to be very largely skewed towards a musically inclined audience. Basically, people who know how to appreciate such musicals. Indeed, it was almost entirely a musical... almost every sentence was sung out by the actors & actresses. It is no wonder that some people like Rebecca's mother found it 'noisy'... because I found it very 'noisy' too. There was almost no rest of words throughout the movie. My heart wasn't even given any moments of peace to appreciate the quiet scenery... something that I can appreciate.

Anyway, so much for the arts. Definitely not my 'cup of tea'... but no harming trying to spend that time with my girlfriend, if she likes that. I do not wish to exclude myself from any aspect of her life... as far as my tolerance level permits me...

Am I a movie buff?

Before I bought my brunch, I dropped by VideoEzy to borrow some VCDs to watch at home. An impressionable fact went through my mind in the store - The counter staff asked me if I would like to purchase a $50 credit option, which would entitle me to an additional 3 free movie rentals (be it VCD or DVD). I was hesitant... until she told me that I have already spent up to $370+ on video rentals in the past few years!

This struck me for awhile... Wow... I had actually spent almost $400 on video rentals in the past 3 over years? WOW! Seriously... I wondered... I must be quite a movie buff! And this amount is apart from the movie expenses that I spent at the movie theatres! Wow! Indeed, I must be a movie buff! It shouldn't be too far off to say that movies & video rentals make up my top expense every month! I don't even spend almost any money on new clothes either. Hmm... this really speaks of where my interests lie... =)

Yet, movie watching isn't without any 'good' in my life. In fact, movie watching has made much impact in my life. It has taught me much creativity & imagination about scenarios & about people. Some movie plots have its own 'twist' to the story & it interests me alot. Others bring laughter into my life & those whom I'm watching with. All in all, I can say that it does make me a little more smarter & wiser as a person, living in this world full of different people.

Well, at least I live up to one characteristic of being a Singaporean - a typical movie buff... since I don't shop (almost at all) & eat 'extensively' like many typical Singaporeans...

2 hrs 'crush'

Yup, I actually had a 'crush' on a girl throughout this 2 hrs movie VCD which I watched at home. Her name is Lindsay Lohan (she's American) from the movie 'Mean Girls' which was produced in 2004 last year. She's an actress turned singer, who has become a rising star in the celebrity world lately. Interestingly, one of the websites stated that she acted in this Disney movie titled 'Parent Trap'! I liked that movie... then, at least. I think I watched it when I was in my JC days...

Anyway, in this movie 'Mean Girls', she played the role of a young teenage girl who lived in Africa all her life, home-schooled from a young age. When she grew older, her parents brought her to the States to continue her high school education. I won't share the rest of the story, less it spoils the anticipation of those reading this journal of mine.

I like her eyes & smile. I also think she has quite a sweet personality... possibly someone that I would like to get to know as a friend. Not too bubbly, but yet having her own sweet innocence. Well, at least that's according to how I perceive her role-character in this movie. In real life, she could be a whole different person.

This reminds me of another girl who is a singer - Charlotte Church, whom my ex-GF used to like. She's quite a sweet looking girl, but turned to drugs & stuff due to some reasons which I can't remember. Quite sad, huh... I guess everyone has their own sad stories in their life.

Mid-day Monopoly

It was a nice time playing Monopoly with Rebecca. It sort-of relived the memory of playing board games at T-Bar, which unfortunately closed a few years back. It was one of the cosiest cafes that I've been to - with sofas, board games, computer games, magazines, quiet corners, reasonably priced western food & desserts. A good place to study during the off-peak hrs too.

Anyway, this Monopoly game was much different from our usual Monopoly games. Usually Rebecca would end up bankrupt (I seriously wonder how someone can get bankrupt in just 1 - 2 hrs). However, this time both of us didn't get bankrupt. Instead, I think the main flaw lies in the fact that both of us spent most of our money clearing debts, buying 'lands', rather than property. Thus, there wasn't much chance to be bankrupt within 2 hrs. This time, I also added an extra rule - a $200 credit limit that each person is allowed to owe within a single round of play. Interesting concept, I think.

Rebecca is starting her final semester tomorrow (i.e. Monday). I wish her all the best & may God bless her with good health as she goes through this last lap with Him! Jia You, Dear! =)

Sickly... Sickly...

Its been almost an entire week since I have fallen ill. 27th Dec (Monday) marks the day of my illness. I just saw the 3rd doctor this week. The first 2 doctors wrongly diagnosed my illness & regarded it as just a bad case of flu & fever. Last night, my Mum suddenly told me, "Maybe its stomach flu!" That set me thinking... & this morning, I went to see the doctor & he confirmed that it IS stomach flu. No wonder I haven't had any appetite for the past week. *Groan*.

This 3rd doctor was especially nice. He's Dr Chua Thiam Eng. Its the first time that I saw him at this usual clinic that I go to. He explained the details of what causes stomach flu & how the medication that he's giving me would aid my recovery. He's indeed a very nice & fatherly doctor.

My girlfriend was very nice to me too. She accompanied me to see the doctor then walked me home. I thank God for this sweet GF. Both of us have our own flaws, but I can see God working in our relationship.

Now is the time to rest... Doctor gave me another 2 days of MC... Thank God for restful sleep these few days too... We never know how blessed we are, until we consider the little things that God puts in our lives... Think about it... =)

My first blog

This is my first blog. Its quite a new feeling to be typing something online where its possible for everyone & anyone to see. Well, to whoever's out there who may be reading this... I hope this blog would be a good avenue to make friends & share experiences. Do feel free to drop me a note / comment, if any! If not, let this just be my own personal diary... =)