Is True Honesty Unwelcome?

What’s the value of honesty nowadays, I wonder. Is this moral ethic still regarded as positive & encouraged? Or has this been regarded as outdated, less or variably useful & more often than not… unwanted?

Personally, I find this positive moral ethic rather muddled up & distorted by society. In the past, moral ethics are regarded as values adopted that shape a person’s character. In these recent times, moral ethics are valued, discussed & regarded only when these traits are proved useful in any particular situation.

In my opinion, moral ethics come into play only when it is viewed as constructive to a situation, be it in a business context or elsewhere. I find it surprising & scary that honesty comes at a cost or consequence nowadays. Probably due to reasons such as subjective individuals, as well as those with relatively or worse still, perpetually closed-up mindsets.

I used to think that a conservative mindset is being closed-up to other opinions & views towards someone or something. As I grew older, I began to realize that stubborn &/or ignorant people can also be closed-up these people or things.

Thus, it seems to me that a person’s openness & acceptance towards people or things, especially new people or things, has become much of an individual’s attitude, rather than how much they know. A person who knows little could be insecure & afraid; however a person who knows a lot could also be rigid, proud & judgmental!

In short, I find that a person’s level of honesty & openness towards himself & others stem from the level of humility & warm-heartedness that he or she possess. The encouraging fact is that this can be learnt & improved upon through constant self-reminders of why you decide & want to improve in this area.

Rather obvious to most of us, our society nowadays brands & lifts up those who dare to be different & take a bold front in setting trends. A popular word used to describe them is ‘hip’. Somehow this style of standing out as different has been very successful in capturing the minds & hearts of people, especially those in this modern generation. Whoever & whatever goes against the norm, but is cool or hip, gets looked up to. Creating buzzing news with the press media has become such a happening that magazines after magazines are being published & sold week after week. These are the kind of ‘stylo’ differences which the younger generation seeks after nowadays.

Are there any differences that are unwelcome then? Sure… simply put, these fall under the category of moral ethics… & whatever that are not classified under moral ethics are indeed recognized & welcomed.

As mentioned earlier, moral ethics have become quite a non-necessity in recent times. People select & pick out whatever is beneficial to them & discard or disregard whatever that are not so important & could possibly result in more difficult decision making. And it is definitely true, coz decisions normally tend to get a bit more foggy when ethics &/or religions comes into the picture.

Without even bringing in working relationships in the business context, let me say that when someone reveals a bit more personal sharing about himself, he may feel insecure about the risk of his ‘secrets’ being let out & gossiped behind his back. Even more outrageous is when this person gets a remark for being naïve & too open in sharing what’s truly on his heart.

When honest opinions are shared, especially when a person is sincerely open in sharing (despite whether it is of good or bad news), it most often falls on deaf ears because most people dislike & are uncomfortable about change. Trust me, even when it is for a change for the better. And the person who offered an honest feedback can be regarded as a disrupter or perpetual trouble-maker.

Among people who are receptive towards constructive feedback, the person may end up getting arrowed to do whatever he suggested, or even viewed as someone who ‘spoil market’ or a ‘boot licker’.

It is probably quite common knowledge that the intellectually slow people tend to be more honest, open & sincere. Sometimes it kind of upsets me that people get more cunning & selfish, as they get smarter. But I do know of a friend who is very smart, yet exhibit an honest, open & sincere character trait.

My friend’s name is Daniel. He’s very intelligent, especially in the area of academic studies, but it didn’t mean that he made use of his intelligence for mere self benefit. He has a fervent heart to share the gospel, sieve out ideas & practices in church that may be treading on a tine contradictory line & reveals his true honest personality to all those around him.

Although he may not be very observant of some people’s silent body language & sometimes insufficient tact in his manner of addressing an issue, Daniel has not stopped being the person that he is, to people around him. He may not be the most tactful person, but he speaks with conviction, out of pure intention & with the interests of others at heart.

I am sure that he doesn’t go around, harboring an ill intention of criticizing people, but he means it sincerely & truthfully, despite his occasional aggressiveness in manner & speech.

What most amazes me is that he makes it a point to be honest, even to those who don’t subscribe to his views. Though sometimes argumentative, but he means it out for the greater knowledge & good for the people whom he speaks to.

Of course, I’m not saying that tact & sensitivity is not important. It is… but so is how honesty is received & responded to. Very often, people turn away from what is new to them, or what they do not understand. And the weirdest thing is that these people can jump to conclusions, just taking on the opinions of other friends, without even clearly knowing what they are concluding & judging about! I have experienced this many times in my interaction with friends…

It is so sad that an honest person like Daniel would finally decide to leave the company of his friends & church, because almost nobody would relate & understand him & his peculiar ways. People spend more time seeking to rebut what is being said, as compared to trying to understand & respond receptively to the person’s words.

I know & realized that putting on masks in different situations & with different people is something that is a fact & won’t change very much. Yet how do people view honesty nowadays? Is it still of value & importance? Or just only when it is relevant, beneficial, most often positive, expected to be warmly received & when something can be done about it?