Moved By Sincerity

Yesterday, I attended the wedding of a good friend Audrey Neo Sze Hui, whom God has give me the marvelous privilege to know back in my days at SAJC. It was her wedding with her fiancé Leo Deng Kiang.

Although I have only attended a handful of weddings of my friends in these recent years, I have to say that from the bottom of my heart, I have never seen such sincerity in a wedding ceremony…

The wedding solemnization ceremony was held at the Singapore Art Museum. At first, I found it quite odd… why wouldn’t a Christian couple want to have their wedding solemnized in their own church building? I mean, the Singapore Art Museum? I really haven’t heard of anyone getting married there before…

Anyway, just to fast-forward a bit, it was one day later that I realized from Deng Kiang that it is because their church had an auditorium of 1000 seats & it would be too many empty spaces, making the atmosphere not very suitable for a wedding ceremony.

I realized that it was a wise decision, coz I personally wouldn’t like to get married in a huge auditorium (1000 seats is a huge place!) & having like 90% of the seats empty. Surely wouldn’t look good in the photographs & the atmosphere wouldn’t be warm & cozy either.

And true enough, the atmosphere sure was cozy in that hall at the Singapore Art Museum! I like the warm-orange colored walls coz it kind-of gives me the relaxed feeling, though I don’t exactly like the small architectural artifacts on the walls. But it was a great place to get married in… making me think twice about getting married in my church building.

The tip that I learnt from Audrey’s marvelously planned wedding, was that it is definitely better to have your invited guests seated together in a warm, relaxed & cozy environment, than to have them seated spread-out in a relatively larger church sanctuary, with pockets of empty seats here & there. It makes the photographs turn out so much better! Imagine the bride walking down the aisle with rows & rows of empty seat pockets here & there! What a sight! Or should I say, “What a plight!” No no… I wouldn’t want such a memory…

Anyway, I found my SFC friends – Leung Ming & Benjamin Tan, whom we served as the SFC Executive Committee (Ex-Co) back in SAJC. Those were truly memorable days that I can look back & thank God for. He really gave me a huge toil of molding back then… something & many things that I won’t forget.

It’s a pity that Vincent Ng has been posted to UK for a few years, as part of his new job from his local scholarship at NUS. Vincent Kan has been missing in action (MIA) for several years now. Hmm…

I noticed a few SAJC friends from Arts Faculty who attended the wedding ceremony too, though a few left early because of other commitments & the rest seemed aloof. This kind-of reinforced my mindset that friends who work closely & well together, stays together. Even though the few of us from the SFC Ex-Co only meet up like once a year, the bond has been easy to re-form & build back, solely because we just had so many memories together!

I sat with Ming & Ben was seated behind me. I was glad that I reserved my other blue shirt to wear at Audrey’s wedding luncheon the next day, because Ming wore the same blue colored shirt today! If I had worn that blue shirt, we would have looked identical… or even possibly mistaken as gay? Hahahaha…

Ben was the most formally dressed invited guest, apart from the formally dressed family members of Deng Kiang & Audrey. Audrey’s Dad stood out in an interesting manner, wearing a white blazer, while all the other men wore black! According to Audrey, he wanted to match her white wedding gown.

After a short introduction, we were led into a short time of worship. Singing these familiar Christian songs right next to my SFC Ex-Co was a highly moving moment for me. I nearly teared when singing Audrey’s favorite song “You Are So Faithful”, which so happened to be my favorite song back in my SFC days.

As a Christian junior college, SAJC had regular worship sessions after school hours in the afternoon. I will never forget the day when I fell into temptation & committed this sin in school, then feeling all guilty about it, before walking past this lecture theatre where I heard the song “There Is None Like You”. I remembered that I just stopped right there at the steps leading down towards the school gate & just stood there looking down at the ground, while the lyrics & tune of the song just flooded my heart & my ears. I hesitated, but after awhile, decided to walk into the lecture theatre. And from then on, my Christian life was changed.

I also won’t forget the times when I arrived at SAJC at 6:15am to gather in a circle with SFC Ex-Co & members to pray & have a time of morning worship together. Once in awhile, I would lead worship. Other times I would just join in with them. It was always a refreshing time to sing praises & worship our God, so early in the morning, before the hectic school timetable starts & I fall back into the stresses of not completing my Economics tutorials, boring Chinese classes & confusing Mathematics C lectures. Thankfully, I have interesting tutors for General Paper & Geography.

Once a week, I think it’s on a Wednesday afternoon, all SFC members & interested Christians will gather at a lecture theatre where we would have combined worship & a short message shared by a Christian teacher or the chaplain from the Church of the Resurrection, commonly referred by SFC members as ‘COR’. Oh boy, that was a place where memories just live in our hearts forever & ever… =)

And I definitely won’t ever forget how my close group of SFC members came without fail, day after day, to pray for me outside the Principal’s office, as I waited day after day, to appeal for a place to stay at SAJC, when my final GCE ‘O’ level results didn’t turn out well. I won’t forget the earnest & concerned friends who gathered in a circle outside, with everyone else passing by & looking. For many days they did that & at this point of typing this, I just feel like crying coz these people are really my friends. All of them wanted me to stay in SAJC & stay in SFC. I never felt so loved by such a group ever before in my life.

And our God didn’t fail us… & He didn’t fail me. That even after a full week of appeal, the Principal still couldn’t offer me a place to stay at SAJC. But God is good & I can truly say right now that there is nothing, just absolutely NOTHING that can go against His plan… for that very moment when I reached home, totally depressed & downcast… that very moment, the phone call rang… my Dad picked up the call & it was the Principal! She decided to give me a chance to stay! Although not in the Science Faculty, but in the Arts Faculty. To me, it was a God-send! I frantically accepted, put down the phone looking stunned… then started jumping up & down, all around my house for several minutes! I can stay! I CAN STAY!!!

So many good & bad things happened over the two years, but I have never looked back in regret. SFC will always, always be a part of my life. It was there that I truly found God, even despite being born in a Christian family. It was there that I learnt so many Christian songs, just being at morning worship as often as I could make it, just listening & learning the lyrics of the songs by ear (coz there were no transparencies). It was there that I had my first girlfriend. It was there that I won consecutive gold medals. It was there that I took the turn for the greatest depression in my life so far. It was there that I wailed in song & prayer. It was there that I took down sermon notes for more than one thick notebook. It was there that we shared so many happy & sad memories.

And that’s why I became so emotional when I attended Audrey’s wedding. I also won’t forget that there was one time that Audrey nearly wanted to slap me to wake me up from my ongoing depression. And those words shook me up. I won’t forget that.

I really thank God that SFC is a place where I can really let my guard down & really worship the Lord in word & song. You don’t have to wear masks! Share all I want, cry all I want, learn all I can & be all that I could change to be. It was the foundation & beginning of my Christian life. So don’t ever, ever let anyone tell you that things happen for no good reason at all.

Anyway, back to the wedding experience. The solemnization was pretty much standard as normally seen at Christian weddings, but I was particularly impressed by one thing that the newly wed couple did that made it all so meaningful. From my few experiences at weddings, the couple would just walk out & then back into the church then followed by a short announcement for photo taking & refreshments outside. But this wedding was different.

The bride & groom specially set aside a time to say their heartfelt thanks & appreciation towards their individual parents, one parent at a time. First to Dad, then to Mum. Deng Kiang’s speech was sincere & I could hear from his voice that he’s really an honest & sincere person… & I just felt so glad that Audrey would have such a wonderful husband.

Btw, the couple told me that their speeches were not rehearsed, but they just spoke out from their hearts, right then & there.

Audrey’s speech was emotional. She shared that her Mum is a very simple person who believes in giving her best to her child’s education & that’s why Audrey worked so hard in JC, did so well at NUS, got into PGDE & now is teaching General Paper at SAJC! Thinking about it, just moves my heart.

She also shared about how her Mum was so poor when she & her younger brother were young, but she insisted on giving birth in a private hospital, because she wanted the best for her child. Audrey’s words became muffled & everyone could tell that she was tearing. My heart softened & when I saw her now wheel-chair ridden Mum, I was just at a total lost for words.

After the sharing, each of them presented a gift to their own parents, before walking happily out of the hall, while Ming & I threw flowers at the newly wed couple! I think it is my second time throwing flowers at a friend’s wedding. This time, Audrey specially requested that we be the ones to sit at the aisle to shower them with all those fresh flowers petals! It was a happy moment for all. =)

The refreshments were okay & I had a good talk with Ming, while Ben went to talk with his secondary school friends. After that, we bid our farewell to the couple & went home.

The next day, we attended this special wedding luncheon just for Audrey & Deng Kiang’s close friends. It was at Regent Hotel, at this place called ‘The Bar’. It had a very cozy & relaxed environment, with drinks served & lunch. Ben, Ming & I chatted until this guy came up to us & gave us two small bottles which we were supposed to blow at the couple as they walked in. Ming & Ben thought they were party poppers & nearly splashed it on the couple, before they realized that it was actually a bubble blowing toy, which we were supposed to blow at the couple as they walked in! Hahahaha… that was an amusing moment & all 3 of us laughed & laughed… =)

This next part was the best. It was the dance. The couple began with a short slow dance, before inviting their close friends of the opposite sex for a short dance too. Deng Kiang looked very smart in his dark blazer & attire, while Audrey looked elegant in her white ballroom gown (even though it wasn’t a ballroom).

After the couple danced, Audrey invited Ben first, which he cordially accepted. I snapped a few photos with my hand-phone camera, so that I can show Ben when he returned to his seat. Thereafter, it was Ming’s turn. Finally, it was my turn. I was a bit hesitant, but decided to have this short dance with Audrey, afterall she only invited 3 of us guys for the dance with her. That really made 3 of us feel very special!

Initially, I felt odd coz I have never stood this close with her before! We faced each other, her right hand held my left hand & her left hand on my shoulder, while my right hand behind her back. It was a slow dance with simple steps, which I began to like after a few seconds.

I felt a bit shy looking at Audrey so close in the eye, but later gathered the courage to tell her that I’m really happy for her & really appreciate her friendship all those years in SAJC. I knew I was mumbling coz I totally didn’t rehearse it at all, plus it was my first time dancing in my life! And what’s more, in front of all the couple’s close friends!

As I shared my gratefulness for our friendship, I saw Audrey’s eyes getting a bit wet. I have seen her cry before back during our JC days… but this time, it was because of me. Well, at least it was because of my heartfelt words. But I really meant what I said, even though I was mumbling & worried if I had bad breath. After awhile, the dance was over & I calmly returned to my seat.

Thinking about it, I kind-of like this idea of having an informal luncheon with close friends. It was a really sincere effort by the couple, especially after they had spent a bomb on 31 banquet tables yesterday night after the wedding ceremony. This wedding really costs them A LOT of money, but it all turned out so nice & meaningful. And I really like this aspect of their wedding, coz they didn’t just invite friends to attend the ceremony then it all ends there after the guests went home. They wanted to make this special luncheon as a gesture of thanks & appreciation to their close friends. And everyone there was happy, even though I found the lunch rather average & the dessert tasting better than the lunch.

As the couple went from table to table to chat with each other’s friends, Ben, Ming & I started chatting again. I didn’t share this with them before, but I blurted out that I used to have a crush on Audrey back in JC. Then Ming confessed that he had a crush on Audrey too! Both of us looked at Ben & said, “Aiyah…” coz Ben had liked Audrey since secondary school! It was such a moment of sharing & confessing that all of us had our crushes on her!

Well, thinking back, I did like Audrey… but maybe it’s because we were spending more time together, since both of us were from the Arts Faculty & the other guys were from the Science Faculty. Back then in SFC, as the Ex-Co, we organized regular prayer chains, such that SFC members from different faculties can gather during their timetable breaks for lunch, fellowship & prayer.

It just so happened that Audrey & I somehow tend to have our timetable breaks at the same time, quite often, so we would usually packet our lunch from the canteen to eat at a quiet corner at COR. The COR is really our SFC hideout & place of refuge from the storms in JC. It is a place where many of us go to study after school, where while studying, there would be breaks where someone would just pick up a guitar or sit on a keyboard & just start singing worship songs.

I really, REALLY miss those days back in SAJC. How I really wish that I was a student back there again. Ming spoke what’s on my heart too, when we agreed that back in SAJC, we were more involved in SFC than in our study subjects! We agreed that JC was more about SFC than school! I couldn’t agree more…

Anyway, the luncheon lasted 4 hours & I really marvel at how 3 of us guys can have so much to talk about! I mean, I used to think that only girls can chat for hours! Hahahaha… We got a chance to chat with Audrey & Deng Kiang when they came over to our table, while we were casually chatting, with Ben slouching on the comfortable sofa next to us. It’s really a great place for quiet chat & catching up. Plus, the hotel gave each of us this little cute bear as a souvenir! I think it’s the first time I have been given a bear as a gift!

The three of us got to know Deng Kiang better & I must say that he’s really an honest & sincere person with character & maturity. It is truly my honor to get to know as a friend. Hopefully we would still get a chance to meet up as a group, even after Audrey & Deng Kiang settled down into their married life. Hope they have a wonderful honeymoon at Bali! =)