The Next Chapter

I have been thinking about it lately... in fact, more so for the past few months, since the beginning of this year. And when I saw my ex-church friends wedding website, I felt in my heart that this is what I'm really looking towards.

I want to be married & start the next chapter of my life with the woman whom God has placed in my life. Of course, I'm far too poor in finances to be able to afford to get married... & this is one thing that I won't want to jump straight into, not with the tightest of budget & the biggest event in my life.

It would take another 1 - 2 years of intensive saving up, especially with my current salary (a pay cut from my last job)... but I know that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I have reached the stage where I want to shed off the 'single' lifestyle. I want to have a wife of my own, a home of my own, children of my own, a marriage of my own, with the woman that God has given me.

To begin anew in a fresh new page in the history of my life.

Dreaming of Scorpions & Terrapins

I had this strange dream this morning, while I was lazing in bed after a long hard week of work – a 60-hour work week is no joke. Saturday is just the day when I sleep till late in the morning & start the day slow. S-L-O-W is the way to go on Saturday, the only day of the week to slack at the coziness of my own home.

The Black Scorpion

Anyway, in the first part of this dream, there was a black scorpion in the toilet of my home. When I saw it, I quickly went to tell my Dad. Surprisingly, he wasn’t scared. He casually picked it up by its tail & at the same time telling me that as long as we hold it by its tail, it won’t sting us. But my Dad was overconfident, or at least wasn’t fully aware that the scorpion’s tail could curl… & he wasn’t holding the far end of its tail. So in a swift twist, the black scorpion curled its tail (while suspended in mid-air) & stung the top of my Dad’s hand.

It was painful & I was afraid for him, coz I have seen black scorpions sting rodents & spiders in the wild… & these stung creatures would usually die in a matter of seconds or minutes due to the deadly poison.

I tried to grab that scorpion by its tail, but I was too slow… & got stung by it too. It was painful. I can’t really remember what I did next, but if I recalled correctly, somehow I managed to catch it & threw it out of my house… or at least something like that. Surprisingly, I didn’t die from the poisonous sting. Not sure about it, if it happened in real life though. Hmm…

Terrapins Galore!

In the second part of the dream, I opened up the small sliding door where all the piping was & was shocked to see terrapins of various sizes and colors trying to squeeze out of one of the entrances of a big pipe!

I tried to block the door with my hand, but it didn’t really work. So there I was, looking at terrapins of various sizes coming into my home! Some were huge (I wonder how it managed to squeeze itself in the pipe) & others were smaller. Some were dark green & others were lighter green. I didn’t know what to do with these terrapins that had now entered my home through the piping.

For a moment, I looked at those smaller ones & started to think back to the time when I was keeping a few terrapins in a big tank in my home. Gazing at these smaller light green terrapins made me miss my terrapins which I had released. I pondered about the thought of buying just ONE baby terrapin & taking care of it all over again, like before… after all, I still have the big tank & some of the rocks kept in my storeroom. But… oh well… I don’t know…

Eye Bags!

Argh! I spotted eye bags when I saw myself in the reflection of the mirror inside my office lift this evening! I almost never get eye bags in my life! Not even when studying for exams or toiling through the night on group university projects! Oh no...

But I have been sleeping 6 - 7 hours almost every night... which means that maybe its the toil of work that is taking its toil on me... Hmm... Oh dear...

Signs of Ageing?

Oh dear... Rebecca & my Mum said that I'm ageing... that I don't look as young as before.

Rebecca looked quite long at me last night when we met up after work. She said that she couldn't recognise me as that small cute little boy anymore. Tonight, my Mum also said that I look older & more mature.

Not that its bad to look mature, especially when its important to look not too kiddish, when relating with colleagues & external customers at work... but maybe its because I have been working hard at work & look so worn out at the end of each day. Hmm... I still can't accept that I'm growing & looking older... but that's part of life...

'Guinea Pig' Mindset

"Eh, guinea pig may not always be bad leh. If medicine is good, guinea pig become very strong!"

I overheard my team leader say this over the phone this evening. He was exclaiming about this to someone (not sure who he / she is), but I found it so funny that I was laughing and laughing to myself all the way to the lift, to go home after a tiring day of work.

To a certain extent, this unintended joke did make my day! I was smiling to myself, even when I was on the bus home. Yet this saying made a lot of sense to me.

You see, many of us go through work, or even go through life, sometimes finding it all too easy to think of things in the bad light. Positive thinking always seems to require intentional effort & determination to continue in that line of thought. Even so, this is one thing that is important coz it helps us to keep our hope & not fall away in despair.

I'm not saying that we should just think positively & forget about God... but I'm saying that both are important. We can't just resign to our difficulty & throw everything to God to do... & we do nothing at all. That's neither right, nor appropriate for our personal or character development. Even when God created the Earth & all that is in it, He placed Adam to work in the fields & tend to the animals. Work has its place in our life on Earth, though it does not comprise of everything in our life.

I do hope that I can buck up on this area of perseverance & positive thinking. It takes a change of mindset to see things differently & positively, even others around are just lamenting in self pity. I hope to change for the better. This attribute will help me to take care of my future family too.

Browsing Furniture

Rebecca & I went to Courts to browse through different types of home furniture last Sunday. It was a happy feeling coz it feels like we are progressing towards the next phase of our relationship - serious courtship towards marriage in a matter of years, hopefully 2 - 3 years time.

I have a particular preference towards contemporary furniture, i.e. those modern looking kind with bright colours that gives a mood based on its nature of colour. Colour contrast is also one of its attributes. Rebecca is fine with contemporary home furniture, though she exhibited a similar interest in country-style furniture too, i.e. furniture made from cane, etc.

I'm glad that we had some agreement regarding typical furniture measurements such as nothing smaller than a 6-foot mattress! I never knew how small a 5-foot mattress could look! But it seems like Rebecca prefers large beds... not that I would mind though... if it could fit into our future bedroom and looks nice with the other furniture.

As a whole, it was a good experience & we plan to visit more furniture retail outlets in Singapore to get a better idea of the various designs & pricing available in the market. It was also a good opportunity to see what kind of preferences each other has, so as not to get a shock & disagreement when the time comes when we really have to look for furniture for our new home.

Meaning of ‘Kit Kat’

Last Friday, Rebecca & I were shopping at the Giant supermarket near Bedok Interchange, when we caught sight of this new packaging of ‘Kit Kat’ chocolate wafer bars. This packaging was unique coz the wordings were mostly in Japanese. This was how both of us found out the meaning of the brand ‘Kit Kat’.

The brand ‘Kit Kat’ originated from the Japanese words ‘Kitto Katsu’ meaning ‘Sure Win’. We found this strange, but accepted it as one of those odd meaning Japanese brands. Perhaps ‘Kit Kat’ is a ‘sure win’ with regards to the chocolate market in Japan, but definitely not here in Singapore. Well, at least that’s what I think…

SIM Friends Get Together

It’s been another tiring day for me, but I’m thankful that I still managed to muster enough mental & physical strength to enjoy a happy & fruitful time to catch-up with my SIM ex-project team mates at Bugis Junction.

Strangely, after having worked with this group of SIM friends for almost 3 years, even though we rarely meet up, there seems to be a sense comfortableness & minimal pretence, compared to when meeting up with some colleagues, clients, church friends or long lost friends from elsewhere.

I had always enjoyed being with this group of friends. We are a group of people so different in personality, background & preference… yet there seems to be a relatively good sense of acceptance of each other’s quirks. Perhaps it’s because we have already seen quite a bit of each other’s strengths & flaws, during our 3 years of hectic project life during our SIM days.

And for these, I’m thankful to still have this group of friends whom I occasionally meet up with to catch-up on what’s going on in each others’ lives. Some are more open than others, but it’s a natural part of our group dynamics.

It made me wonder though, about how much easier it could be sometimes, for other non-Christian friends to accept & tolerate our quirks, compared to when we open ourselves to become vulnerable to our Christian friends.

I started to wonder if that is one reason why some non-Christians prefer to shun away from Christians, coz Christians are quite often seen to be more judgmental than the non-Christians. I do not mean this as I condone all sorts of willful thoughts & behavior, but I find this rather true.

Perhaps we Christians should stop judging for awhile & stop to assess the situation before jumping to our own conclusions or become to firm & forceful in what we believe about the Bible, until we annoy others who do not yet the Truth.

The Bigger Picture outside the Big Picture

Another hectic week of work has just passed. Although I still have got to go back for my shift duty this Saturday. But nevertheless, I’m very thankful for the public holiday. Sometimes we just need a break from work!

These past two weeks have been fruitful learning experiences, as I encountered more incidences at work. For example, I experienced for myself how depressed or negative words from a discouraged colleague could affect my morale. At times, it just takes a few negative remarks from those working with me, to over-ride the pride & positive outlook which I previously held for this job.

It can be shocking how I can suddenly shift from enthusiastic to being discouraged in just a matter of a few minutes of negative talk from someone. It’s strange, even when I consciously tell myself not to be affected, somehow, at times these remarks would just get to me.

Thankfully, over the course of these two weeks, I have learnt to moderate & channel out these occasional discouraging remarks from others around. In fact, recently I have begun to find myself sighing more often at work… so much so, that the volume of my sighs have become louder over the weeks.

From this, I discovered that there can be two possible types of behavior from discouraged employees. There is the kind who would keep on voicing out their frustrations & by doing so, intentionally or unintentionally affecting others around. There is also the other kind, who would keep the unhappiness inside & at most, just sigh more. This second category is me… at least, until I noticed a different change in me.

Another example of what I have begun to learn from the workplace is that managing politics is part & parcel of working & living among humans. No wonder, I’m not utterly surprised that even low-level employees from certain companies can say that the most difficult part of work isn’t about the work itself… but about the people at the workplace. It’s sad, but true… that people themselves are the greatest cause of workplace unhappiness, apart from the standard difficulties of the nature of work itself.

Through some of these encounters, I also learnt to realize that building positive relationships is crucial at the workplace. Not that I’m promoting ‘boot-licking’, but good working relationships do need to be built for necessary collaboration for greater good, be it for the present or for the future.

I also realize that there are several ways of ‘testing the waters’ at the workplace, through various means, for example e-mail & even a simple greeting in the early morning when a colleague comes in to work.

Like fishing, something has to be thrown out, before something can be possibly be drawn in. At times, it is a ‘give & take’ concept at work. We can’t always seek to gain at the expense of others & neither can we always seek to give in, at the expense of ourselves.

The best part of the job is that I have opportunities to speak with all sorts of people from all sorts of companies from all sorts of industries. Plus, I get to go for site visits at places, which I would not be able to see, if I weren’t in this job scope.

Another thing that I learnt is that when it comes to people, being personal is the most important mode of communication. Don’t always keep to corresponding by e-mail. My advice from my supervisor is that e-mail should always follow AFTER a phone call, not the other way around. Unless, of course, I don’t have that person’s phone number, I’m out of the office & not able to call or I urgently needed to send some information over to that person. If the personal touch is lost, there is a limit to how much things can be done to make things work better between both parties.

One last thing that I can recall learning is – know when to speak frankly & when not to. In life & especially when it comes to dealing with people, there is seldom the case when absolute honesty is the way to go. Sometimes it is good to know when to shut up & when to speak up. Once we have learnt this, we can then learn to know what to say, what not to say & how to say. And after we have learnt this, we can then learn to second guess what the other person want to say or thinks that he should or shouldn’t say. It’s all about repackaging our words to suit the person & the situation.

Definitely an interesting soft skill to learn…

A Bear in a Cup!

This Wednesday, Rebecca & I went for dinner at the Changi Airport Swensons to celebrate our 58th month together. Time really flies… & suddenly it’s soon to be 5 years of being together in a relationship.

I wanted to write Rebecca a postcard, but the postcards that were sold at the provision shop on the ground floor of my office building were lousy! The photo on the front of the postcard was rather blur & neither exciting nor beautiful. So in the end, I decided not to get a postcard coz I didn’t want to just do something for her, just for the sake of doing something… & especially not when the 80c postcards were so blurry & unattractive.

Coming from the view / preference for a guy who loves to take photographs of beautiful scenery… these photographs were terribly taken. I wonder why they were being sold… the company should hire me as a freelance photographer & I will show them what is called quality photographs! Hmm…

The best surprise of the day, or should I say, the entire week, is the surprise gift from Rebecca! She bought me this 500ml thermos travel mug which utterly surprised coz I had been wanting to buy one for myself to drink at the office, but I haven’t seen one that I liked & neither do I have the mood or time or energy to go hunting for one. In fact, the surprise came so suddenly that I didn’t have time to react, except to smile & thank her a few times!

And the next best part… I was stunned when I opened the travel mug & saw a little grey bear soft toy hiding inside! Wow… that made my day (or evening), coz it melted my heart to receive such a surprise gift… & another surprise within a surprise! I was just smiling & smiling. Even the food tasted less good, compared to the sweet surprise that I had just received! =)

Now this little grey bear is sitting right next to the Fengshan calendar which Rebecca had previously given me. In a way, these are the little things which occasionally help to take my mind off work, even if it’s for just a minute or so, just to admire the little bear or gaze at the children’s drawings on the calendar.

Of course, I have been drinking from this thermos travel mug everyday since then… & it still reminds me of her, when I drink from it. Even one of my female colleague grinned when I told her about this… & she said that Rebecca is very thoughtful… in Mandarin, the words are called “Xi4 Xing1”. =)

Early Morning Handover

Last night, Rebecca called to tell me that she had accidentally left her digital camera in school & asked if I could meet her downstairs at my home at 6:45am this morning, to lend her my digital camera. She was so apologetic, which I felt there wasn’t a need to, coz she’s my girlfriend & this is something that I could definitely do to help her.

It was Saturday morning & slightly before 7am when she called to tell me that she had woken up late & would be in a taxi there soon. So I lumbered downstairs in my bed attire, messy hair & sleepy eyes. But I was smiling inside coz it was a new experience & memory for our relationship. There are always strange things that we do or happen to us, so this is one of the things that add color to our relationship history together.

I stood at the bus stop opposite my house, looking without a doubt that I had just woken up & there were a few people waiting for the bus. I’m not sure if they looked at me & wondered what’s wrong with this sleepy looking guy, but I didn’t bother anyway. It’s none of my & their business.

Soon, Rebecca came in a taxi, looking flustered & I quickly passed her the digital camera (which I had charged the battery for her the night before). It was very short moment that we met, probably just 3 seconds, before her taxi zoomed off again… but I enjoyed this morning incident & am happy about the short few seconds that I got to see her. She’s losing a bit of weight due to the stress at work, but that makes her slimmer & even more attractive! Yay!

I wonder if there has been any change in my weight so far though… Hmm… =)

Extreme Coincidence!

During a lunch talk with my department colleagues on Friday, I was shocked to realize that my supervisor & I come from a different batch of BMT intake, but the same (i) Nee Soon Camp, (ii) Echo Company, (iii) Platoon Commanders (i.e. Patrick Tan, Reza, etc) and (iv) Section IC (i.e. 3SG Ali).

It was shocking! I couldn’t imagine the extent of coincidence! He was just one batch before my intake & it was probably & possibly the same kind of shit that he went through. Just that after BMT, he was posted to the Police Force, whereas I stayed in the Army. Chatting about it just brings back memories!

Happy To Let Down My Guard

It is always refreshing to meet up with Rebecca, even for a short period of time, during the work week or at least on Sunday. Not that everything always turns out nice & we don’t have quarrels about issues & differences… but more of the fact that she is one person (& source) that I can actually relieve myself of my effort in raising my guard around people, especially at work.

At work, I am constantly being reminded to look at the bigger picture & second guess others’ intentions; coz there will always be some sneaky & crafty people trying to achieve some selfish aims through their selfish & winding approaches.

With Rebecca, I can totally be myself coz there is no need to second guess her. That’s what I like about being with this woman (Yeah, I shall stop referring to her as girl, since she’s an adult already). Believe me, when you are in the ‘war zone’ at work & being cautious about what you say & who you can trust… this is the kind of person whom you can really feel relaxed & relieved from the exhausting work day.

And I’m glad that it’s the same for her too, coz she can find comfort when being with me too. It feels so good to not need to intentionally portray to be professional (at work) or cautious with people (elsewhere). A sense of a coziness presence when being with her, I guess. =)

Me & Envelopes

For some portions of the time at work for the past 2 days, I had to slot seminar pamphlets into envelopes & seal them. A few of us were working on it, so it took a long time. Plus, there were 1,900 envelopes to prepare & I really felt like a factory production machine / robot.

Even though it was the start of the work day, I actually grew sleepy & bored just doing this repetitive task. Once completed, my mind became awake again as I could finally get back to doing my projects.

Without a doubt, this once again reinforced that I’m suited for routine work. Besides it being a form of work that enables me to earn an income, it is terribly unsatisfying. Terribly.

Our First Coconut!

It’s been a scary week. I went from enthusiastic till downcast about my job in just a matter of two days. Even though I’m a relatively intense person, I guess there is a limit to how much intensity I can take in, until I begin to waiver. In fact, I even fell sick on Wednesday & had to cancel my dinner appointment with Sean. I was like totally down & out. Thankfully, I felt a little better on Thursday morning after drowning myself in 9 hours of sleep on Wednesday night. Too tired to type Blog too… What a week…

I have been feeling all lonely this week. In fact, it wasn’t just this week. It’s more like every week. Rebecca & I are so busy at work & so tired out at the end of the day… that we only get to meet for a short few hours each Sunday! Thankfully, we got to meet this Friday evening.

We had a simple western food at East Coast beach hawker centre & drank from this huge coconut (our first time having a coconut together) which had almost no flesh! We wondered if the drink stall aunty might have cheated us by scooping out all the flesh & pouring back the coconut juice. I even took a few photos to remember this incident. =)

After a filling dinner, we took a slow stroll to Bedok Jetty. It was slow not just because we were strolling, but because both of us were tired too. In fact, my eyes looked like in a daze when we took photos at the dinner table earlier. Oh dear, I must be tired!

We sat there & chatted for about half an hour, before lightning started to flash & we quickly left the beach. It was a quiet & nice time, though the weather was rather humid & we were semi-perspiring from the humidity. Even at the jetty where there is almost no building blocking, there is still so little wind! That’s one thing that I dislike about Singapore weather – It’s almost always humid! Urgh…

My Changing Personality

A new job. A new change. This is how different I am, after one month of work in my new job at SNEF. Amazing, in fact, how I have changed in such a short time frame of one month. Either I’m a fast learner when it comes to this nature of work, or the work has really taken a place in the core of my life that it actually molds my personality.

Passion, my bosses call it? I don’t know… but I enjoy doing project work & I’m thankful that I have actually managed to catch a glimpse of how my work is meaningful to those senior individuals who are seeking employment… even despite this being crowded by lots of ploys, tricks & deception by the other ‘players’ out there.

In fact, my Mum told me that she heard me talking in my sleep this morning. And the topic was about work. Why am I not surprised? *Laugh*… but I need to keep this under control & not eat completely into my life. But it is important that work becomes part of my life, so that I can be committed in it, find some fulfillment & hopefully make a small handful of friends, while earning a decent living for me & my family.

How has my work influenced my personality? Well, due to the nature of how things are done & how people are in my kind of work, I have found myself to become more intoned to being discerning & careful towards people at work, & now spilling over to people outside of work.

Call it bad experience in the past or even certain encounters in this job, but the truth is that I’m no longer the same person that I previously was. Through some of these experiences in life, I found myself to be growing shaper & wiser, not as timid & afraid to say ‘no’, as I used to be weak in.

Quite obviously, I actually see myself becoming more assertive & confident. For those people whom I really treasure & hold their views strongly (such as close friends, family & my girlfriend), I would still let their presence & influence remain in my life. For those whom I relate to professionally as part of work, I will not hesitate to stand my ground (if I have to), so as not to be bullied or toyed around, like a person who lacks confidence in himself or naïve in the ways of this world.

This world is a harsh place & there are too few simple & nice people in this world, to allow myself to let my guard down & assume that those, whom I do not know, should be given a step of influence into my life. If it’s trust that these people need to earn, they had better prove themselves as trustworthy & able.

In other words, not anyone who smiles at you is your friend.

In my job, I am forced to learn how to see the bigger picture… & then the even bigger picture from that big picture. And I have to learn to do this in my mind, without letting others know it. If some are sharp to guess correctly, good for them. For those who are naïve or not aware, well… then they may probably have to learn it the hard way, when they encounter a situation similar to mine.

Once bitten, twice shy. Yeah, it’s true… & you don’t take this phrase seriously, you better think again. Or watch out, you may get bitten again… & turn out more shy, embarrassed or discouraged, than you previously were when first bitten.

Let me add another word of advice - Better still, don’t let yourself get bitten. Some mistakes are not worth repeating after those who have already made that mistake. If a mistake is made, we better make sure what we learn from it makes it worth the mistake. If not, be prepared for more hard knocks & slams.

Yeah, trusting people is not easy, especially now that I’m in this job. But I have learnt so much. I really thank God. I’m stronger & sharper from experiences in this job. Even for the pay reduction that I’m presently taking, as well as the 6 months of unemployment due to my ex-boss at StarHub, I still find this ordeal worth it.

To end this Blog entry, I’m glad that I feel reassured about this change taking place in me, from watching Rebecca’s Dad’s portrayal & manner of work, when I was back in StarHub in year 2004. He is soft-spoken, caring, helpful & committed in his work, while at the same time, being wise & sharp from his years of experience in the business world. Although he’s not of the same character as me, I believe that I can still be & act right in the workplace… & I encourage Rebecca to be so too.

Weekday Vs Weekend

It’s strange. It’s extreme. I’m so busy during weekdays & find some satisfaction in my work; yet I’m so free during the weekends & don’t feel much satisfaction at all.

After I had vacuumed my house after breakfast, I wondered to myself – what should I do today? Maybe I should go walk around Parkway coz I always come home late & tired after work… so haven’t really been out at all.

In fact, I told my Mum that I felt weird holding the TV remote control, when I turned on the TV to watch one of my VCD this morning. It felt as if I haven’t held the remote control for ages! On weekdays it’s just work & sleep. Even my Blog entries have reduced, not because my life has suddenly become unexciting, but because I’m too tired to type at the end of the work day.

I gazed around at the crowds of people, young & old, bustling around Parkway Parade. In my mind, I thought to myself – what’s all this hype about? Is there really so much to see, buy & do at this shopping centre? Or is there really not much interesting to do at home?

For me, it’s both. There isn’t much that really entices me to do at home or outside during the weekends. Seriously, it’s just the rest & getting away from work, for at least one day of the week, so as to recharge myself for the new week ahead. So that kind-of like makes work my primary focus in my life? Come to think of it, yeah… I think it’s true. Without finding meaning in the work that I do, where else is there any challenge & interest in my life?

Endless shopping doesn’t give any satisfaction at all… maybe watching movies is better… but there aren’t many really worth watching shows lately. In fact, I think the storyline of movies filmed in the earlier Hollywood days were much better. I wonder if film makers are running out of ideas of what kind of movie script to film. It’s like the hype about movies isn’t as ‘hot’ as before already. Maybe because there are so much more other forms of entertainment nowadays… with online games & stuff…

Thinking about it now, I wonder how it would be like to bring my children out to shopping centers next time. These young chaps would probably be running here & there, with my wife & I keeping watch over them... while at the meantime, probably feeling listless about all the shops that are around us. Maybe we might just walk around & see if there is anything that we need to buy… but other than that, at least at this point of time, I really don’t know what else to do at a typical shopping centre here. Shopping paradise, they call it? Shopping… yes… paradise… no. Not for me, at least.

Sigh… I’ll just basically rest for the new week ahead…

Behind the Schemes (2)

Actually Conned

The second con that took place today, which I unknowingly fell for, was when I learnt from my colleague that my supervisor is a very scheming & manipulative person. Not that I never really realized this for myself, but I guess I trusted my supervisor, to some extent, that I didn’t really think he would plot against those of us in the same department. But apparently, a few of his ploys were uncovered, when I heard what my colleague warned me this evening.

Apparently, through rather seemingly positive comments & encouragement, my supervisor has managed to dangle an ‘empty carrot’ in front of us, giving us hope & incentive to look forward to… so that we would be motivated to work hard. Yet from having lunch with other colleagues from other departments, my colleague learnt that not everything that my supervisor says is true.

Plus having known him for some time, my colleague came to realize that he can be a very scheming person, or in other words, a two-headed snake. What is a smile; may not actually be a smile. What seems like encouraging words; may not actually be for that reason to affirm. There is much underlying in between his words, thoughts & deeds.

Hearing these, I started to doubt my supervisor’s words & slowly began to see how he has used words & body language to manipulate people in a certain direction, especially when it comes to work. It was as if, if he shared or taught me something, it was for some reason that he revealed that to me… & I suddenly realized how dangerous the closest people can be to me, if they are really scheming something up.

I discovered much more about my supervisor through a time of heartfelt sharing with my colleague (whom I deemed more trustworthy than my supervisor), as well as the nature of how things are in my department & company. It seemed like it all turns out as a game that people play & plot against each other at work. It’s terrible! And it’s a terrible feeling too… especially when I recalled how my supervisor actually lured my thoughts into thinking bad & going against my own colleague sitting right next to me. So scheming!

I will definitely be on my guard against my supervisor from now onwards. He is not an easy person to figure out, but I know that I will learn as time goes by. Especially in this area of work, where even some companies try to deceive & manipulate project executives like myself. It really pays to be careful & learn to see the big picture.

Behind the Schemes (1)

I really can’t believe how manipulative people can be these days. Ok, it isn’t something new, but the truth is that it’s becoming more rampant nowadays … how the young & old manipulate their minds by choice of will.

‘Scheming’ is the word that popped up really strongly to me this evening. Tonight was the latest that I had stayed back at the office to work overtime. In fact, I was also the last person to turn off all the lights & lock the main door. I almost couldn’t believe it when I looked at the time shown on my hand-phone & noticed that it was already long past 9pm...

But that wasn’t the real crux of what really happened to me today. What really happened was that I was almost conned twice in a single day! By colleagues in my own company! It’s infuriating just thinking about it.

Almost Conned

The first con was attempted by this colleague from another department. In my company, there is a regulation that everyone has to work at least one Saturday a month. It just so happened that this male colleague from another department’s Saturday shift fell on the 15th April, which is the day after the Good Friday public holiday.

Nonchalantly, he walked up to my desk this morning & asked if he could switch Saturday duty with me. I asked him which Saturday he is on duty & he told me… so I looked up the Saturday duty roster to confirm it. After that, I looked at my calendar, saw that his Saturday duty was actually the day after the Good Friday public holiday… & that got me suspicious. In my mind, I was thinking - Why does he want to switch Saturday duty with me? Is it so that he could enjoy a long weekend at my expense, if I fell for his trick?

I really thank Rebecca for giving me that small colorful calendar made of some of the drawings from her primary school kids. It was because this calendar actually stated the public holidays & school holidays, which was how I realized that he may be plotting to enjoy a long weekend, by innocently switching his Saturday duty with me.

Becoming aware of this situation, I asked him what the reason is for him to want to switch his Saturday duty with mine. It was a very bold step for me, as it may come across as unfriendly & unhelpful, what’s more coming from a relatively new staff who has only been working here for one month. But still, I decided to be discerning & made up my mind not to be fooled.

Upon hearing me ask him that question, he started to look unsure of himself, as he searched his mind for a favorably reply. I suspected as much that he might be trying to con me out of this Saturday, by hoping that I wouldn’t realize that it was a public holiday the day before… or maybe I looked young, so he wanted to see if I could be pushed around because I didn’t dare to say no.

In the end, he muttered that he has some work to do on that Saturday when I’m supposed to be on duty, thus he wanted to switch with me. When I heard that & watched his body language, I knew for sure that he was hiding something. There was definitely something that he wasn’t revealing & I wasn’t going to fall for it! I mean, come on… that’s like one of the commonest lame reason to say, “I have some work to do that day.”

Thus, I decided to take another approach & turn the tables back on him. So I said that there is supposed to be a form which both of us need to fill up & submit, if we agreed to switch Saturday duty… & I asked him how many days beforehand, do we need to submit this. He looked unsure again & muttered that we can submit this form a few days before that Saturday switch.

Aha! He got caught in my trap! So I told him casually, “Well, you see… it’s still two weeks away & I’m not sure if I would have to work on that Saturday as well. So why don’t we consider this again, when it’s closer to that date?”

With that, he showed this defeated look on his face & said, “Never mind, I’ll ask someone else. Thanks.” & he walked off.

I felt glad that I had used my intelligence wisely, not to con… but to alert myself from being conned by others… or at least, some of those who may try to con me.

Yet I was feeling a bit sad, coz I heard that this guy is a Christian. Of coz, it may or may not be true… since I overheard it from someone else, but then again, there isn’t a very high likelihood that people would mistake someone to be a Christian, right? Coz behaving well doesn’t necessarily mean a person is a Christian. But if so… & he really tried to con me… it’s very sad.