#4 Most Inspiring Movies of All Time

Rocky (1976) is ranked #4 on the American Film Institute's 100 Most Inspiring Movies of All Time.

My 'Photographic' Memory

Ya, literally that says it... I have a 'photographic' memory (as my family, colleagues and GF can testify)... because I badly need PHOTOS to aid my memory... Hahahahaha... =)

Logic & Excel Formula

Hurray! Dad finally learnt how to use logic and basic mathematics to understand and create his own MS Excel calculation formulas! Although these are still simple formulas, but its already a big step for someone of his age... Wonderful... I feel so happy... =)

What Do Hamsters Do Anyway?

You know, sometimes I wonder what does my hamster Charlotte do inside her cage everyday. Is she bored? Or should I ask - does hamsters get bored? Most of the time, hamsters are either cleaning itself, eating bits of food or sleeping. Occasionally, she would run on the wheel, especially at night. But other than that, I really don't know what else does a hamster do. Hmm...

Thinking about it, I would feel sad to be a hamster coz my life is merely living without an aim in mind. But of coz, a hamster (or would I say, most animals) don't have the brain function to think this way. But oh well... sometimes I wonder whether keeping a hamster is more of a home decorative (or cute) 'object' or real companionship... I mean, dogs are able to do that... but hamsters... well... hmm...

Physical Attraction (Guy's Perspective)

What's this all about... I am trying to comprehend, from a guy's perspective. Recently, I have been hearing some of my colleagues talk about attractive women, dirty jokes, etc. I listen in, but did not join in, because I do not wish to be get involved in such unwholesome conversation. But its not easy, because their remarks does strike a cord in my mind and cause further distraction when I walk along the streets of Orchard Road, Shenton Way, etc.

Not that I really want to get distracted, but it seems so easy for guys to be distracted by attractive females, especially if these females are slim, beautiful and dress sexily. I do make intentional efforts to avoid looking, but I can't deny that there is some tugging inside my heart. Maybe that's how guys are made... attracted FIRST to the physical aspect of the opposite gender. For many years, I have been trying to change this, but it seems like I am coming to a point where I realise and have to admit that this part of human nature wouldn't change.

Perhaps this could be one of the reasons why God made men and women differently. After all, a healthy romantic relationship isn't just solely about feelings and emotions, neither is it solely about thoughts and reflections... neither is it complete when it is only spiritual or physical alone. If both men and women think and feel alike, then there would be problems! It would also affect their child's upbringing, learning and growing... because its so one-sided. But on this note, I must say that the physical aspect of guys, also known as the 'flesh', can really become an obsession for many people, even females too.

Maybe I should correct this - the physical aspect is not just an obsession for 'many' people... but rather, I would say, probably 'millions' of people around the world. Any curious person (so happens that most are guys) who clicks on the Internet, would find himself swarmed with tons of websites featuring pornographic content. Being a typical guy, I have to admit that at some point of time, I do get tempted and fall into sin. But that being said, its just so overwhelming and incredible how online pornography is so prevalent in today's society!

If I remembered correctly, there was one article that I read quite a long time ago, that said that a certain percentage of official working hours are spent on viewing online pornography at the office! I think that was a statistics from the US, but humans are all around the world, even in Singapore. At times, it doesn't even require us to search for such unwholesome material, sometimes spam mail and viruses do invade our e-mail and computers.

Thinking about it, this aspect of physical satisfaction is absolutely REAL and undeniable. I also remember listening to a sermon where the pastor shared that there are two things that are mentioned many, many times throughout the New Testament... and that is Money and Sexual Sin. I learnt from this sermon that there is a reason why the Bible keeps on reminding readers about these two areas of concern... which still exists till today... and even worse than before. Its become so scary that I just can't believe it anymore. Even kids are getting hooked onto it!

Reflecting back on my experiences struggling with this area of sin, I realised how LOST we all are... as in humans. There is just countless amount of such sinful material out in cyberspace that is so massive! I wonder what percentage of the World Wide Web is occupied by this aspect! 10%? 20%? I really hope it isn't more than that. Like I always said, everything can be used for both good and bad... sadly, many times what was used for good, soon became used for bad... and it hardly happens the other way around... I really wonder why... God must be so upset with us.

With so much content that is updated on a daily basis, I just can't help but wonder that at every single minute or hour of the day, there is bound to be many, many, many people engaged in this sort of sexual sin. Its an addiction that is worse than cigarettes and estacy! There are tons of pornographic websites (both free and pay to view) that I sometimes wonder just how massive this market has become to FUEL such a tremendous scale of addiction around the world! Its just totally unbelievable! Millions of men and women fall into sin every day!

And what really scares and shocks me, is that there are also thousands and thousands of men and women who do this to earn quick money! Earning a quick buck from the addiction of people... so manipulative... but oh well, this is the way some humans are... what to do... sigh... but its so sad... like we obviously know that the Ozone layer is getting thinner and the gap is getting bigger, but we keep doing things to make the situation worse... watch it get worse... then continue to make it even worse... shame is lost... forgotten... hardened... ignored...

At times I think about it and try to reason that these are either people who are eager to make money at the expense of good conscience and morals... or people who are just lonely, deserted, lost, rejected, distracted, helpless, depressed, divorced, etc... and thus, resort to making themselves feel good and accepted. After all, the physical satisfaction is may help them to forget their pain and agony, even if its meant only for a few moments...

My conclusion is two-fold - firstly, people are seeking to find meaning and purpose that makes their life worth living. People seek after distractions, addictions, obsessions, etc because they don't know where and what to turn towards. They don't know what else to pursue besides money, fame, personal interests and career achievements. At the end of each day, something is still left unsatisfied in their heart, mind and soul. I myself am also trying to figure this out for myself too.

Secondly, people need to love and be loved. Its all about feeling belonged, accepted and known for who we are. Its important that we learn to turn our attention towards loving ourselves and also learning to love others... especially those who are just so lost, whether in sin and/or hurt. Many a times, these people are the VERY people that we see around us... those in the bus, MRT, walking on the streets, standing at the traffic light, browsing through the magazine section, etc... even people who may look happy most of the time.

Its important to pray and learn how to differentiate between being happy (truthfully or in denial) versus being joyful. I really want to find this out for myself... I want to learn HOW to be joyful... though there are tons of possible things and people in life that make it happen otherwise... God, please help me... please...

Seriously, as much as it appeals to a guy's human nature, to enjoy admiring attractive females, there are times when I just wish otherwise. But nothing seems possible to change! I can't change the human nature of a guy... and women are enjoying the attention given to them. I have noticed women who are oblivious to men who stare lustfully at them... and I also seen women who obviously know that men are watching them, and yet continue to bask in their 'glory'. Sometimes I am just so confused at how to respond...

Perhaps... no no... this is why the Bible says that each man should have his own wife, and both are to meet each other's needs... because there is just so much immorality in this world. Of course, I have also heard that it doesn't mean that once we are married, means we would not face anymore temptation. Rather, the temptation would be even greater, as Satan enjoys to tear down healthy marriages!

That's way, you see... life is so stressful and complex. Everything can be linked to everything else. Only God can comprehend, though I am sure He is heart-broken about so much sin in this world. What I have shared is just one aspect... then there is other aspect of the LOVE for money which leads to an entirely different spread of interlocking linkages in life... so complex, huh...

My Testimony

Before I met Christ

It is indeed a blessing that I was born into a Christian family. My parents became Christians before they got married and I remembered that they would pray with me and read Bible stories to me from a children’s Bible. But does merely knowing a few stories from the Bible make me a Christian? No, I had to discover Christ for myself. However, at that young age, it didn’t occur to me that living as a Christian means more than just saying grace before meals, reading the Bible once in a while and praying before I sleep.

How I realized my need for Christ

When I was a child, I didn’t care much about how I lived my life; after all, I knew that my parents would look after me, no matter what happens. I was reliant on them to provide for my needs and wants. But as I grew older and entered into secondary school, I realized that my parents cannot be around for me all the time; I had to learn to fend for myself. Over time, I learnt to be strong and determined at what I set myself to do. That worked for a few years, relying a lot on myself, even though I knew that I should also pray and commit things to God.

The turning point came when I entered junior college. Looking back, I knew that it was God’s will that I was posted to Saint Andrew’s Junior College. But I didn’t know it then. As I struggled through JC, I realized that it became more and more difficult to live life relying largely on my own strength. I found it increasingly difficult to handle my subjects and I couldn’t find any friends that I could click with. With my failing grades and no friends to turn to, I soon found myself getting into depression more and more frequently. Worse still, I started going deeper into sexual sin. As the days went on, I was just so lost and didn’t know what to do.

How I became a Christian

One day, as I was on my way towards the school gate to head home after school, I passed by this lecture theatre where I heard singing coming out from inside. I didn’t know why, but I suddenly stopped walking and just stood there, frozen at that spot.

Then I recognized that it was the song ‘There Is None Like You’… and when I heard the chorus, my heart just softened and I started to cry, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I had heard worship songs in church before, but somehow this time it felt different. I stood there hesitant about whether I should go inside the lecture theatre, but the prompting grew stronger and stronger, until I decided to go in.

From that moment onwards, I realized that I had encountered Christ personally in my heart. I couldn’t deny it… for He took me in, despite my failures, sin and shame. I joined the Saints For Christ (Christian fellowship group) and my life as a Christian took a turn for the better. I am still not perfect and struggle with the pain and issues of life, but despite my failures, I still remembered that God did come for me at my time of need. He knows what I am going through, even when I am clueless about what in the world is going on at different stages of my life.

I chose to believe that Christ could reach into my life and work within me. And He surprised me with much more – a vision of His hand reaching down to take hold of my hand. I still remember that my eyes were closed, but I was not asleep when that happened in a short 20 seconds or so. And His words spoke clearly, “Do not be afraid of how hard you fall, or how many times you fall… for I will catch you.”

What being a Christian means to me

Being a Christian means that my life has to be different from people around who do not yet know Christ. It means submission. It means choosing to love, to embrace, to let go. It means to believe, to trust, to surrender. Not the good that I do, but the good that God works in and through me.

Believe me, life doesn’t become a bed of roses when I chose to commit my life to Christ… at times, I still falter… but at times, I still do feel His peace and comfort when times seem darkest. Once the dark clouds have passed, we would often see more clearly.

Invitation to discuss further on salvation

Dear friend, it is possible that life throws so many challenges at us, that we just feel so overwhelmed. Sometimes, we may even feel that we have lost the battle and just don’t know what to do. We don’t know… but God knows… and He watches from above, each and every moment. Christ came to save mankind from all our sin and shame. He came for me… and I believe that the fact that you are listening to my testimony, is clear that Christ is also calling out to you. Would you be willing to respond and allow me to pray with you?

To God be the glory…

I Really Miss The Old Days...

Old ways of doing things can be fun for variety and sentimental for memory! How I wish I could go back to doing some of the old things in the past! These are some of the memories that make my childhood such a memorable history...

Playing Micro Genius, Nintendo, Sega...

Lighting candles at the stone structure at playground next to my first home

Throwing marbles...

Blowing soap bubbles...

Playing with styro foam aeroplanes...

Playing with tuition teacher's clock...

Making boxing gloves out of cardboard tissue boxes...

Challenging my pri sch mates to a fight at the school field and pretending that I was a purple belt in Ninjitsu...

Running on sand at the beach...

Eating a banana before a cross country race...

Walk around the old World Trade Centre (which now has become a shopping centre)...

Go to the school library at Yu Neng Pri Sch...

Walk into the Yu Neng Pri Sch bookshop to buy erasers and stickers...

Hide under the table in pri sch when playing hide and seek...

Teasing pri sch female prefects and running into the boy's toilet...

Being called out of class to visit the sch dentist...

Getting caned by pri sch principal in pre-primary school...

Not having the need to shave when I was young...

Living in my old Blk 94C flat...

Walking to Blk 85 market in the morning to eat nasi lemak and drink soya bean drink...

Eating a bowl of minced pork noodles before walking to Bedok Swimming Pool for swimming lesson...

Doing art and craft in pri sch...

Failing my music test and having to sing a song to pass...

The times when I had to bring my recorder but often forget...

The time when I lost my recorder and had to buy a new one...

The times with my 2 good friends in TKSS...

60 rounds of running around the sec sch basketball court during scout camp...

Writing handwritten letters to my GF, Rebecca...

Staring at Rebecca through a rolled up vanguard sheet...

Purposely irritating the 3182 bus aunty...

Breaking the handle of the overhead bar in the sch bus...

Running home after sch at Yu Neng...

Playing with cats for 1 hr after sch before going back to my baby sitter's house...

Running around Bedok Industrial Park after school...

Wow... there is SO MUCH MORE!!!!!!

Matthew, your best quality is Independence!

Matthew, your best quality shines through in how Independent you are

The fact that you're an independent person who is usually able to handle things in a self-sufficient manner really draws people to you! But that's not the only thing. Your answers on the test indicate you're a reliable and dependable person whom others can usually count on. You are a calm, relaxed person who tends to take life in stride, too.

In all, there are 15 qualities that help define you when you're at your best. Those are the traits potential employers, friends, and partners look for in you. What makes you unique is your particular distribution of those 15 qualities.We've found that your particular combination of qualities is rare — only 5 in 10,000 people share the same general mix of traits. Those are great odds if you're trying to show a potential employer, colleague, friend, or date why you're exactly the right person for them.

Matthew, your fantasy island is New Zealand!

Matthew, your fantasy island is New Zealand

Rugged. Adventurous. Both! When you head on vacation, your fantasy island is the wild and diverse country of New Zealand. A curious and courageous spirit, you don't need — or necessarily want — a lot of pampering when traveling. Not one to lounge on a beach chair most days, you seek out challenges (on holiday and off), especially when there's a chance to hone a new skill or test your mettle.

You tend to relax by doing — be it bungee jumping, hiking the backcountry, or hitting every museum a city has to offer. Like New Zealand's varied terrain — glaciers, beaches, cities, and mountains — you can entertain even the most rambunctious friends. For you, there's nothing better than letting go of convention and heading off toward a new, undiscovered sunset. Ramble on!

Matthew, you're a Pampered Traveler!

Matthew, you're a Pampered Traveler

Four-star hotels. Shopping sprees. Fine dining. For you, traveling is all about indulgence. Leaving the comforts of home doesn't mean leaving your love of luxury. In fact, you probably take advantage of and enjoy the spoils of a vacation more than most.

Admit it, you like the finer things in life, especially when you're rewarding yourself with a getaway. And you know that giving yourself a few special treats will make the trip more memorable and worthwhile. So go ahead, order the dessert, relax with a massage, unwind in roomy first-class seats. That's how you savor the experience. Ahh...

Rebecca's Funny E-mail From Japan!

This is how it goes...

Only have 10 mins to be online. We@re ok so far. Hv been praying for u. Gg off to another place in 20 mins more. Hv hd to another place in 20 mins more. Hv hd enuf rest. in 20 mins more. Hv hd enuf rest. Wat abt mins more. Hv hd enuf rest. Wat abt u\? Tis keyboard is weird enuf rest. Wat abt u\? Tis keyboard is weird. Hard to type. Take care ok?

Fading Memory Space...

It seems like since I took on this job 16 months ago, my brain has been able to multi-task a little better, think faster and remember information quicker. Yet, there seems to be a down-side... I can't remember things for long! After a short while (sometimes just a few hours) and I realized that I had forgotten about it.

What is really going on that makes me becoming more forgetful than before? When I was younger, I could remember and memorize tons of information (not to forget the ordeal of memorizing Chinese definitions)... but now, I just seem to forget things so easily! I can still remember the occurrences, but the details seem fuzzy. It’s like I can remember that I had been to this country for holiday, but forgot what I saw there.

Oh dear... You see, this is why I need to take LOTS of photos to remind myself! And I also need people to take photos of me, so that I can remember that I was there too. Hmm...

Tons of Thoughts...

This is terrible... I have so many thoughts going through my brain... and I don't know what to type! How I wish my thoughts could just be downloaded or tranferred into the PC through a USB port or something... like those in The Matrix? Hahahaha... =)

Rebecca Goes To Japan...

I miss my dearest GF... while I was on the bus to work this morning, she and her family were on the plane to Japan for a family holiday! How I wish I could go for an overseas holiday. Its been quite some time since I went overseas... even somewhere nearby to get away from the lifestyle in Singapore is also good... but sadly, I don't have much chance at this moment...

My Mum said that I went to Japan when I was a very, very young little boy. I seriously don't remember being there at all. I mean, at such a young age before I even went to primary school, how could I tell the difference between Sentosa and anywhere else? In my mind was just about fun and play... and of course, eat and sleep... and believe me, I can sleep like a log... until my parents and even the taxi driver had problems waking me up.

Oh well, I'm looking forward to the church camp next June 08. Its only once every 2 years, so its quite precious to me. Although I still don't [personally] know many people in church, I still enjoy going overseas to just get away from Singapore and its stress for awhile. Just 3 - 4 days can make a difference, really... well, at least so far it has... =)

For some of the people that I know, they do go overseas together with their BF/GF. I guess its really a lot more open culture nowadays, unlike the traditional and conservative courting days of the past. Good and bad, I would say... for a variety of reasons. For me, although my parents and my GF's parents don't allow us to go overseas, just the two of us, its ok... coz both of us are really looking forward to our honeymoon next year! It would be our FIRST overseas trip together, just the two of us... and we really await to experience this new feeling together! Although many, many people would think otherwise, we feel that some things just feels better, with a little bit more wait... =)

Confusion About My Current Job

In a way, I like my current job. I enjoy this kind of work where I can get to be involved in many areas of work that encompasses the entirety of a project. I appreciate the autonomy of traveling to meet up with companies from all industries and meet all sorts of people (nice & not so nice). I find the culture in my company rather pleasant and the slight bonding that I have with my dept colleagues. In my job, I get to see a lot of what's going on in companies and it really gives me a good sense of exposure to the various types of work and industries in the working world.

I also get to see the politics behind the scenes and how 'wayang' comes into place to put on a 'show'. I get to work with ministries, statutory boards, unions, voluntary welfare organizations, special schools, hospitals, etc. And the people that I relate with come from all levels of the company. The experience is interesting as I get to be engaged with the media, organize site visits to companies, work with printing vendor, IT vendor, courier services, consultants, monitoring budget expenditure, working with temp staff, making presentation to companies, becoming emcee at group meetings, secretariat of committee meetings, etc. In short, my job has a VAST scope which can be rather fulfilling at times, though there are times when I don't feel this way.

With the usual problem of having to handle difficult companies demands, there are two things which I am still brooding about - staff benefits and salary.

Staff benefits are REALLY poor in my company. I don't even get to claim a portion of my dental bill each year! There is no training and development courses organized for staff, especially when we would find it useful to be equipped with certain job-specific skills and knowledge to perform better at our jobs. Apart from the warm and still air inside the office (due to the lousy broken down air-con), we still have to put up with cranky lifts that just frustrates us at times. Sometimes I get so fed up that I would rather climb up the stairs!

Salary is a BIG issue in my company. I don't know about the rest of the staff, though I hear that it is quite common knowledge that staff in my company are one of the lowest paid among all the agencies that are involved in this type of work. I am upset that my salary is still so low, ever since I joined this company. All that talk about adjusting pay to be aligned to job scope, job worth and work performance... and nothing is done about this! So miserable! And with this kind of low pay, how am I going to support my wife and children next time, pay for my house, bills, etc? I have to be realistic... how long is this going to go on? The clock is ticking! Oh well... pray that God will speak to me, open doors, or make a positive change to this current situation...

Sebastian's Passing...

Rebecca's beloved hamster Sebastian passed away a few days ago. Although I didn't get to spend much time with it, this name and this hamster has been a memory in my mind for quite some time. After all, Sebastian has been alive for about 2.5 years.

Thinking about it, Sebastian suffered a lot physically due to ageing and disease. In a way, Rebecca and I are glad that it passed away peacefully in its cage... especially before Rebecca and her family was to go for their overseas trip to Japan the next week. Initially, Rebecca wanted to leave Sebastian under my care while she was away for 1 week in Japan, but oh well... it was his time...

Sometimes I wonder if it is better to die not to old and have less problems and illnesses... or live a longer life and suffer from such problems... Hmm...

It's been AGES!

Yeah, it's been ages since I last typed a Blog entry. Life is just becoming so busy and I have become more worn out. Lifestyle is changing and too many things to be worried about. Really glad to know that Heaven will be a much MUCH peaceful place! Though I am not in a hurry to get there yet, till Jesus comes again or my time on Earth is up, whichever is sooner... Argh, sounds like the statement typical of funding disbursement! Oh no! Job hazard! Hahahaha! =)

Seriously, I haven't blogged for more than 3 months (the longest so far in my 2 years of blogging) and honestly, it's just so difficult to get back to typing my occasional reflections in my Blog. There is just so much strong inertia that prevents me from getting back to my reflective mood at the end of the day. In fact, it's really hard for me to say this, but sometimes I would rather brood about my unhappiness than reflect, pray and think of something constructive to do about it. Not to the extent of wallowing in self pity, but just feeling moody and with little interest in many things... even sleep, believe it or not!

Frankly, I didn't want to start typing again. Blogging would be much easier if it were a video camera following me around in my life, instead of me having to sit down and type at the end of a tiring day. But on the other hand, being reflective helps me to think... and get in touch with the 'Matthew' deep down inside of me. Oh well, here we go... back to blogging... try to keep it up once in awhile...