Don't Bother About Class Timetable?

After teaching for half a year, I came to realise another astonishing fact about pupils nowadays, or at least in the primary school that I teach. I realised that many in a class do not have their own class timetable! Some copy but lost it; whereas others don't even copy it... some copy also can copy wrongly e.g. MA and MT can be mistaken (i.e. Maths or Mother Tongue)... & still can ask me what is their next period... how would I know so many classes' timetable?! Whose responsibility is it to know? Them or mine?

But then again, there even some who don't even bring pencil to school. What more can I expect? Borrow eraser, ruler, etc also can quarrel because their classmate don't want to share with them. Then why don't they bring their own?! I have even told them that if they or their parents don't have money, the pupil can always ask me. Anyway, in this past half a year, I have already bought so many things for my pupils... & I never asked for any return... just pay attention in class, do their homework, study for their test/exam & bring their books to school.

Children nowadays just take such a laid back attitude to school! As if the Govt, teachers & parents owe them a chance to be educated... & its STILL their choice whether they want to be educated or not. What in the world???

So now I understand why some pupils always don't bring their subject books to class... because they don't even know what subjects they are having each day! And it doesn't bother them one bit! I make it a point to sit & eat with my pupils during their recess & sometimes I ask them what is the subject for the next period. And up till now, I have not had a single confident & correct answer! The pupils do not know what is the next period's lesson! I'm not even asking them what are the subjects they are having TODAY. I'm just asking what is the subject for the NEXT PERIOD. And they don't know... and they don't care... I could just faint... really... its just so upsetting...

Pregnancy As An Escape Route?

Until recently, it didn't occur to me that some women actually make use of pregnancy to take a good break from work, or even as a means to change their job. I guess when work pressures get high, it may reach a point that some just start to ponder about taking a good long break or even use this as an opportunity to make a job switch. Its not a bad move actually, considering that maternity leave is up to 4 months now & women still get paid during maternity leave.

As for men, well... we get no such priviledge... but it doesn't matter to me... I don't want to go through pregnancy & its pre- and post-effects anyway!

Usana Essentials

Aunty Muifong invited me & Rebecca over to her house, after we finished work this Thursday. Anyway, her home is just right in front of our primary school where we teach from Monday to Friday. I guessed that she must have heard about my chronic fatigue prayer request from my dear wife. So nice of her... though I don't like to worry people... & the church...

We learnt from Aunty Muifong that actually multi-vitamins are essential for healthy body cells. Be it for growth or repair, it is essential. If not, all the vitamins & supplements that we take will just fall through (i.e. wasted) because our cells cannot absorb it. This struck a chord in me because I have been taking vitamins occasionally throughout the past few years, but I find myself growing more & more tired. So what do I have to lose? No harm giving it a try... anyway, I have already tried so many methods to regain my health & strength... & its still not working.

I am getting quite desperate already coz I am awake for only 13 - 15 hours a day. Half the day I am zonked out, which means that if I hadn't forced myself to work... I would have probably collapsed on my bed for even longer hours. And I'm actually starting to wonder if I'm getting quality sleep! Just like the potency of vitamins that we take... what % actually gets absorbed, while the rest gets passed out? So far, this Usana multi-vitamins are quite good... urine only very slightly yellow (compared to when taking other brand vitamins), which means that a higher % is absorbed by my body! Let's try out for a month & see how...

Slept Through CG In My Own House!

I can't believe it. I really cannot believe it.

I ACTUALLY SLEPT THROUGH CG AT MY HOUSE THIS EVENING!!!!

This is the first time that it has happened in my life! What's more, CG is held at my own house! I had completely knocked out (again from 7 - 11pm) while CG was going on, right outside at my hall. Its so awesomely unbelievable... shocking & upsetting at the same time. SIGH...

Shift Work At Home

Rebecca made an interesting comment this evening - she said that we are on 'shift work' at home. I sleep from 7 - 11pm then wake up; whereas she is awake when I am asleep, before going to sleep when I wake up. Hahaha... =)

The reason for this is because I am still suffering from chronic fatigue. Once my physical body gets a chance to rest e.g. on the MRT, bed or even toilet bowl... often I just knock out. Its getting rather serious... such that Rebecca has even sent out an SMS for the church to pray for me...

Do Children Listen Nowadays?

Really... after teaching in a primary school for 6 months, at times I wonder to myself whether children really listen nowadays. Or maybe this is just happening to a general minority of schools. Most of the time, it appears that children are in their own world... just wanting to do what they want to do, without heeding what others say is important. They are in constant need for 'entertainment' by humans, objects or multimedia. What happened to the good old days when children are given a box of Lego bricks & they can spend like hours being creative in making something out of it? Or just watching a decent cartoon show without bringing the noise up?

I admit that times have changed, but are we making this change better or worse, noting its current state? Has anyone ever wondered how these children will grow up after they leave school? Or whether they are even able to pass out from school?

I was recently told of 2 jokes which apparently saddened me:

1) Teachers are afraid of Principal; Principal is afraid of Parents; Parents are afraid of Children. So who are Children afraid of? It seems that what is left is - the Police.

2) Someone described schools nowadays as becoming like a Community Centre... more focused on running activities than actual down-to-earth solid classroom teaching. I mean, they try to call us 'educators' instead of 'teachers' nowadays, but the hard truth is that both are important, yet can't be torn apart.

Oh well...

Chronic Fatigue?!

Finally, after 2 weeks of persistent perseverance, I have decided to consult Dr Yu Zhen Kai at Eu Yan Sang clinic at Plaza Singapore after school today. It was a tiring day bringing the P3s to the zoo & I'm actually quite upset about how the whole outing went.

Anyway, I went to see the TCM physician & he diagnosed me as having chronic fatigue! I was quite shocked to hear that... really. All my 29 years, I have never felt this degree of tiredness that sometimes I can just KO (knock out) in just 5 min on the MRT home after school. My quality of sleep hasn't been good too... even if I do sleep, I wake up feeling like I didn't sleep. Its so annoying. Not that I'm dreaming either... sigh...

I still can't figure out what is causing this to happen to me... & I'm just wishing that this would quickly pass soon. I think most (if not all the teachers) in my school are burnt out, or approaching this burned out stage. But its only been 8 weeks!!!! GRRRR!!!!

Touched My Videographer's Heart

I engaged Tham Wai Keen, as my wedding videographer last year & I must say that he did quite a good job from the start till finish. To cut the long story short, he initially promised to give us our DVD so that we could show to our relatives during CNY. However, this had to be delayed by an additional month because he fell very ill for 2 weeks, resulting in a lot of backlot cases. I guess many customers must have got angry, that's why he sounded so apologetic when he called me, asking if I would like to have a short unedited clip to show my relatives first, while he work on the full edited version.

When I received his call, I wasn't annoyed that he had to deliver his DVD one month later, but rather, I was actually concerned for his health. To be ill for 2 weeks such that he can't even work means that he must really be ill! How can I bear to demand anything? Not that I'm a person who demands things anyway...

Compassion set in (as Rebecca would put it), which made me ask 2 questions. The 1st question was - Is this additional DVD something that we had paid for, or is this something extra? Wai Keen replied that this is something extra, as an apology for not being able to deliver our DVD on time, as he had promised. My 2nd question was - How long do you take to do this one extra DVD, since you have other customers' DVDs to do as well? Wai Keen replied that each DVD would take about 1 day to do. When I heard that, I had made up my mind.

So I told Wai Keen that I do not need to have this extra unedited DVD and told him to use my extra 1 day to rest and spend time with his family. I sensed that at that moment, there was a silence, as he probably wondered how to respond to me. If I remembered correctly, I think he tried to ask me again if I would like to consider his suggestion. But I told him that its ok because not many relatives come over to my home during CNY anyway (coz most of the time, its the young people that visit the eldery). I urged him to take a rest or settle his remaining deadlines instead, as this extra 1 day could be well spent on something else more important... like health & family... noting that he has been working so hard...

When I received the final version of the DVDs from Wai Keen last night (he was meeting his friend for dinner & happened to be near my home), he passed me 3 copies of my DVD with very nice hard cover packaging! I was stunned... Wow... I wasn't expecting that. And he told me that he had upgraded my package by giving me a higher quality packaging. That's nice of him... but what touched my heart was that he personally wrote a card to me, thanking me for my kind gesture... & it meant a lot to him. I felt moved when I read that he welled up with emotions when I told him to use my extra 1 day to recover & spend time with his family. He told me that he was going through a difficult time & was depressed too... & I guess my kind gesture cheered him up.

Thinking back, I'm also not sure why I responded with such promptness when he suddenly called me out of the blue. I mean, its not like I had time to consider & re-consider before I made my decision. It was on the spot.

I guess its just me... I'm like that lor... compassionate guy... more or less lah. I can't change this part about me, & since it makes people feel better... its good that I don't change. I want to touch people's lives... or at least try to... although sometimes I accidentally do so without knowing. =)

Well, it goes to show that I don't have the heart to do business coz business is about getting what you want at the expense of others... & sometimes even to get more than what you initially had. I'm not like that lah. I will fail as a business man... my company sure close down... coz I would easily want to write off debts, than collect them. I don't like to be calculative about money. Its important to have money, but its not important to have more than necessary, especially at the expense of others.

Aiyah, this wedding DVD is for remembrance & sentiments only. Maybe when I grow old & lose my memory... this would come in useful. But in the end, ashes to ashes... dust to dust... but lives touched will never be the same... =)

Lost 5.2kg in 7 weeks!

There was a complimentary health check up organised for teachers at my school today. Rebecca urged me to sign up for an additional component to test for Hepatitis A and B. It cost $32 per person, but I decided to go for it, as there is family history in Rebecca's family. Aiyah, health is more important than $32. Money can earn back, but health once gotten worse... it would cost even more to regain health.

Anyway, this is not the point of this Blog entry. Its not about this health check up... but rather, it is the shocking discovery that I had lost 5.2 kg in just 7 weeks! I was quite taken aback when I saw my weight. Well, I was on MC for 2 days last week because I had lost my voice (not due to shouting, but due to viral infection to my throat), but that couldn't have made me lost 5kg!

Maybe its the climbing up and down the stairs everyday in school that made me lose weight. And maybe its because I take 9 periods of PE a week. These are some possible reasons, but I think the greatest most contributing factor is becaue of the lack of food intake for 5 out of 7 days a week. I get hungry fast because of the rate that I burn energy. But the canteen food is sold in such small quantities & the afternoons are so packed with work and meetings that I can't seem to find the time to go outside for lunch. To walk out, order food, wait for food, eat the food & walk back to school would require 1 hour, at least. Where got this luxury?

Sigh... my wife was shocked to hear that I had lost 5.2 kg, but what can I do? I am already eating biscuits, chocolate, cup noodles (very occasionally) and extra slices of bread in the afternoon... but it still doesn't work...

Retrenched Pastors?

Yeah, believe it or not... pastors have been retrenched before. I heard that it happened in Singapore too. I think that case was because the church membership dropped drastically & it affected the amount of finances that could be paid to the number of pastoral staff in that church. Hmm... I used to think that salaried pastoral staff have an iron rice bowl coz there are so many churches in Singapore & some, if not most, church members do give their regular tiding. Oh well, I guess I was wrong... probably depends on how each church is run...

Frequent Online Purchaser

It has come to my realisation that I am becoming quite a regular online purchaser. Apparently, the things sold at local retail outlets do not appeal much to me... often enough... such that I end up having to search & buy my things online... very often from overseas websites.

Maybe its because the things that I like & want to buy are not easily available in Singapore... which often makes me wonder if I am weird... but I quite enjoy the experience of buying things online. Its either there or not, don't have to scout over so many retail outlets or different shopping centres to find something. If its there, just pay by credit card & wait for delivery! =)

Fire Evacuation Prank!

Last Friday, a lower primary pupil smashed the glass of the fire alarm, setting off the alarm that shocked everyone out of the blue & brought the whole school down to the parade square in a matter of minutes! I am not sure whether to laugh it off or be angry about it.

The best part was that everyone thought that it was a surprise fire drill... until one teacher came up to the discipline master & reported that a pupil whom she was punishing, hit the fire alarm glass, out of anger.

The strangest part was that this wasn't the first time that a pupil did this. Last year, another lower primary pupil did the same act, out of anger... & some teachers still recalled last year's incident.

Oh well... after teaching for almost half a year in primary school, I have come to accept that many things could possibly happen... & some of these things can be really unexpected. Its quite an adventure actually, to be a teacher in a primary school... sometimes the least expected things can happen... it makes life interesting, yet annoying at times. Nowadays kids are so different from last time... just a short generation span of 20 year can make such a difference... scary... I worry how my own children could end up next time... with a more than 30 year generation gap.

Sometimes these things can be so difficult to predict. I have seen even kids from very good family background, end up misbehaving. I think its really about the influence that kids get around them nowadays... mostly from the media & their peers around. Its very sad... God, can You please do something, please? Please?

An Impulse for Exercise & Reflection

I am a person who can get moody & easily annoyed about life & things when I don't get regular exercise. Since my young age, I am unable to comprehend why... but I have grown to accept this as part of who I am. Somehow my body just gives me annoyed feelings to hint to me that I am not feeding it with what it needs. Perhaps this may be a good thing, as exercise is important to maintain a healthy & strong body. And its not just for the physical body, but also for good mental health & emotions.

As I grew older, I began to realise that I get similarly annoyed when I do not give myself enough personal time to reflect. When I don't have enough time to be quiet to reflect, this missing ingredient starts to get me annoyed... in a matter of time... even when I give myself time to reflect, if it is rushed... it would get me even more annoyed.

What is it about me... hmm... just rushing through life? What is wrong... God, please help me...

黄金路

This song is from the TCS drama serial 黄金路. Since the first time that I watched it (unfortunately it was already the 2nd episode), I have fallen in love with this song. The music is quite intense & gives the kind of emotion that cruises through my body.

Recently, when I bought the DVD set, I realised that the lyrics of this song is quite impactful. My wife Rebecca helped to explain what the chinese words meant (because my Mandarin is bad) & I decided to upload this lyrics to my Blog, for remembrance.

It is really a very remarkable drama serial with a lot of twists & turns to the storyline. Simply remarkable. Most of all, it really depicts how different each individual can choose to live our lives. Really a worthwhile show to watch! Speaks a lot about humans & about life... =)

黄金路

我们都该 回头看看 来时路
就算起风 偶尔有雾 模糊不了幸福
我们都该 在心里数数 感动的次数
谁陪你疯 谁陪你笑 拍拍肩 一起追逐

多少爱错过了才看清楚
多少事无法弥补才认输
多少次以为找到了幸福
却发现一开始就是个错误

每一段路都是一段领悟
珍珠再夺目 留不住心头热呼呼
真心的鼓舞 能温暖一生的旅途
每一段路 难免荆棘密布
把坚持牢牢握住 不怕艰难险阻
学会去爱 就不会迷路

捨不得

捨不得

我没说，你没有问
就这样关上了心门
爱那么真 情有多深
只能在 心底找个人
拥抱的疑问 会得几分
还在迷离飞腾
曾经的单纯 远走的信任
必经那么并却回不了身
舍不得让你撑受更多伤痕
所以选择单方面加温
虽然我还未决定
放弃会不会快乐
一个人的未来该这么撑
舍不得听见你的哭泣声
所以选择面对你的眼神
让爱的人快乐 是一种责任
就算分开比我想象的要疼

A missing chapter of my life in 2008...

I took some time to read through my blog this evening & many memories flooded back. I really miss blogging... how I wish I could blog on a more regular basis. Thinking back on all my past memories that were captured in descriptive words, I started to feel a sense of regret for losing a big part of my life experiences last year, when I was so busy to blog.

I miss blogging, really. It is one thing that sets my heart & mind to reflect... & it deepens my awareness of myself in many aspects - intellectually, emotionally & spiritually. Of coz, I guess it benefits me physically too... because being able to release my pent up thought & emotions that are bugging my brain, is quite a stress reliever for me. Oh well, I really hope to blog more... come on, God... help me to make time to do so... even if its just once a week... but twice a week would be good... please... thank You... Amen.