Deliberate ‘Starvation’

This afternoon, I had quite a bit of reflective thoughts about the recent talk on sexual purity at my church’s Youth Room last Sunday… & these thoughts come as a painful memory & reminder to me.

For every man, it is indeed & really a daily struggle & battle to resist the demonic spiritual forces attacking us every day… & every instant when temptation comes knocking on the door of our minds. Talk about fighting a war in our minds everyday & sometimes even in the midst of dreams.

Although most often left unspoken of, this is nevertheless something absolutely common faced by us men everyday.

For Christians, we know it very clearly to be wrong & considered sin in God’s eyes, yet this seems like one of the most basic needs of a human being, almost as close to our basic need for food, water & shelter. Probably the only difference is that it wasn’t meant to be satisfied alone, but with our spouse. And it’s exactly what differentiates humans from animals, coz human beings take this up a higher level than just merely for reproduction.

In this case, I guess Adam had it really a lot easier than us, coz when he sinned & was asked to depart from the Garden of Eden, Eve was already with him… & there weren’t any 10 commandments or decree about keeping the marriage bed pure, coz Eve was already given to him! Plus Adam didn’t need to struggle with as much temptation as we do nowadays, coz there was only one woman Eve!

Thus, I came up this term called the ‘deliberate starvation’ of our mortal bodies, in wait for the eventual fulfillment of marriage.

It is a tiring journey & even though we are not literally killed in the process of resisting the Devil each day, the impact of each day's spiritual warfare is already enough to tire out our mind.

I vividly recall Joseph's facial expression during the group discussion towards the end of that talk. When it was his turn to share his opinion about this, he just shook his head & looked down, looking so disappointed & in despair. That was the first time that I saw such complete honesty displayed a fellow brother-in-Christ. I recognize that look for myself… & I figured that most of the other guys could identify with that feeling too.

This is very real & happening in this world, even if we choose to deny statistics of such matters, for example one statistic stating that 1 in every 6 men that we see around indulges in pornography. I think that is in our local context too. “Burning with passion”… just like how Paul described in the Bible.

I wonder how it would be like to share this struggle we face, to a female, our girlfriend or spouse how it is like to starve for years, though sometimes we do attempt to ‘take a bite’ off food that we are told not to eat. But it is indeed very arduous… especially when it comes to enduring for almost 30 years or more.

And the worse thing is that quite often, the more we stubbornly try to resist, each following day brings in itself a greater intensity of temptation… & it just gets stronger & stronger, if we keep resisting. Satan just won’t let us go. I really hate him for 'torturing' us & reinforcing our guilt.

Sometimes I really wonder how to live as a human being. The best that I could come up with is - try NOT to sin AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. Take each day at a time. For every day that I don’t sin, I thank God… even though the risk of sinning the next day hovers at the back of my mind. Yet this is currently the best way that I can work at improving at this.

And that’s why we REALLY need the grace, mercy & salvation given freely by our Lord Jesus Christ. I REALLY must thank Jesus for dying for ALL our sins, coz if not ah... ALL of us will SURELY be condemned. Thank You, Jesus!